Would Hell keep updated on torture technology?

Has Satan kept things up to date?

Radioactives, high velocity bullets and dum dums, explosives, lasers, and God (heh!) knows what kind of injectable (or spillable or breathable) nasty chemicals … surely any torturer wants to keep the shop up to date.

Need answer fast!

What am I likely to be facing?

I would certainly think they would keep updated with things like waterboarding, radiation sickness, Monsanto chemicals, and One Direction.

I was thinking about waterboarding, but it might actually soothe someone’s burns. Maybe waterboarding with napalm?

I’m sure the Prince of Darkness has added Justin Bieber to Hell’s playlist.

His primary function is to deter sin. As one must generally be alive to violate God’s laws, The Dark One’s deterrent crafts are practiced in this world, and are most commonly categorized as “Karmic Retribution.” It’s a wobbly model, but given the strict exclusions on material evidence of the divine it’s really the best option available. Exceptions tend to take the form of psychic disturbances, unsupportable visions, intimate yet ineffable knowledge of spiritual horror, that sort of thing.

His secondary function is managing the souls of The Damned. With no hope of posthumus salvation (sorry LDS folks), and no way of making an example of the dead to the living, there is no point in torture or other bedevilment of his charges. That stuff takes time, effort, and resources, and being divine the Grigori really have no stomach for it anyway. The eons awaiting The Damned are spent neither in physical agony, nor in psychic suffering and eternal regret. Rather, they have built for themselves a culture which makes the most of the qualities they themselves championed at their blessed peril. The result is offensive to God, which pleases the master, because souls find happiness and fulfillment despite damnation and exclusion from the Heavenly presence.

So no worries.

How would the Master of Lies acquire this stuff? Didn’t the Man Upstairs create the Lake of Fire to cast the rebellious Angels into and leave them there? Or can Lucifer place an order when the realm of the damned is in need of updates?

I would suspect that there would be lots of arms dealers in Hell. They’ll sell to anybody.

In Hell you have to sing all day and nobody has sex. No, wait, that’s Heaven…

Soft tissue damage doesn’t cause pain, the nervous system causes it. So it is all basically unimportant. Just cut to the chase and torture the nervous system directly.

In a true hell, the nervous system would be constantly being rebuilt and redesigned to create newer and worse forms of pain (an evil version of intelligent design). All this talk about finding new ways to engage in tissue damage wouldn’t cut it. Just thinking about it is scary.

Why apologize? I believe they know they are damned and revel in it.

I’m not so much worried about physical torture…

I’m worried about emotional torture. Like: simulacra of my loved ones being tortured. Or being told I’ve been reprieved, and shown to a big, friendly, glowing doorway to heaven…and then taunted. “Fooled you again!” With an infinity of time to produce such deceptions and scenarios, and with an infinite special effects budget, the torment can be as convincing as it needs to be.

You’ll be sitting between 2 chain smoking, wheezing, hacking and farting old hags, on a very uncomfortable stool, playing on a worn out penny slot for the rest of eternity.
I know, I had that vision. That’s why I gave up the fucking swearing and shit.

[quote=“Boyo_Jim, post:1, topic:710418”]

Has Satan kept things up to date?


With regular operating system and application updates, I warrant, leaving the denizens of Hell to sort through all the problems those cause.

Satan will **be **tormented in Hell. I think you’re confused about some of the roles.

Satan only has Windows XP, so, NO; no more updates.

Amazon, FedEx and UPS.


Yes, except you will be the stool.

It doesn’t mean he isn’t also involved in tormenting others.

That could even be a major part of his punishment: being forced to punish others.

I don’t think that’s right. Many times I’ve heard that Windows 8.0 is the operating system from Hell.

DMV waiting rooms are a recent invention on humanities timeline so, yes.