Question about Satan

think he has to wear horseshoes?

No, I don’t have to wear horshoes, I wear a size 13. Sketchers seem to fit best.

And no, it isn’t always hot down here. It snows for a month during the year, and boy, the elecritcal bills go way up when you gotta pay to keep the heat up at the “Inferno” setting.

Good Things About Hell (from Usenet)

None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.

Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.

Your “Do you smell something burning?” slays 'em, year after year.

Plenty of legal help available for filing “wrongful death” lawsuit.

Satan’s confused attempts to torture masochists can be highly entertaining.

Prizes awarded for best crank phone calls to God.

Everywhere you look, there’s a smoking section!

Your little “blue flame” trick now produces spectacular results.

Free Microsoft software for everyone (as per agreement made back in early 80’s).

Nope - he’s cloven hooved, innit?

I am going to reply semi-seriously. Yes, I am aware that these posts are joking.

The image of Satan as ‘cloven-hooved’ or horned or anything like that comes mainly from a composite of Greek images of nymphs or other half-beast mythological beings. As such, that conception of Satan pre-dates horse shoes.

In the Christian tradition, Satan is just the leader of the fallen angels. So he looks much like other angles (what does an angel look like?), except that he got burned up pretty badly when the big guy threw him in a lake of fire.

Sorry to interrupt the laughter, but I thought it was actually an interesting question.

Y’know, I like this thread. On the other hand, it’s not really factual, so it doesn’t fit in too well in GQ. It would fit in perfectly in IMHO, though, so I’m moving it.

I always picture him as looking like Jon Lovitz in a satiny red suit.

So what are you saying? He’s obtuse?



Hey! An angle joke! That’s acute one!

You’re right!

I’d like to derail the math jokes by saying that I think South Park’s portrayal of Satan is fantastic.

Nah, I met him at a coupla Dopefests last year. The Southpark movie was way off the mark.


I always imagined (mostly from reading Paradise Lost–okay, parts of Paradise Lost) that Satan was red from humiliation, not burning.

This may be the wrong place for it, but what’s Satan’s motivation anyway?

I’m not going to try to speak for the Christian perspective, but I’ve heard that some Jews see Satan as “God’s QA department”; his purpose is to test humanity to be sure that they’re really righteous and whatnot.

Somebody better versed in these matters can either correct or confirm what I just said.

Gee, I’d have thought you would just steal the electricity. Or is the energy cabal that powerful? :eek:

I believe the traditional Christian answer would be “pride”. “Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven” (Paradise Lost, Book i, line 261) and all that. The article from the 1908 Catholic Encyclopedia on the Devil discusses the question at some length:

It can’t be that. They all work for Down There.

My guess is, they have to pay because it just wouldn’t be Hell without bills every month.

The Romans did invent a kind of horseshoe, the hipposandal, that had Greek roots. So it’s possible for even the earliest representations of the Bad’un to show him shod.

But I’ve never seen this, so my answer would be: no. Stepping on thorns and splitting hooves is just one more tiny bit of punishment.