First: Take zev’s advice on all things Judaic.
Second: I was a groomsman in a Jewish wedding in October '03, and I and the other men, Jews and gentiles alike, were issued yarmulkes which we wore. I still have mine; it’s got the couple’s name and the date in it.
The bride and groom want everyone to be comfortable. If they wish to wear one, that’s great. If they don’t to, that’s also great.
Thanks for the great advice, everyone. I think we’ll probably go with ordering enough for each man, and having a small card explaining what they are, and that anyone who wishes to wear one is welcome to.
Interestingly, yamulkes are not provided at most Israeli weddings. Most people assume you’ll either bring your own or have no intention of wearing one anyway.
That leaves you with guys like me, who intend to bring a kippa, but always end up forgetting, and go through the ceremony with a hand on their head and an embaressed look on their face.
Have you already sent the invitations out? Because if you haven’t, or if guests get something else mailed to them between now and then, it would be nice to put a little note on it like “Yarmulkes will be provided for male guests as a courtesy” or “Head coverings will be optional at the ceremony” or something that indicates to people whether they should wear one if they’re not Jewish, or what. If not, station an usher by the Yarmulke Stand to tactfully explain what’s up (a sign at the Yarmulke Stand or a note in the program would also be helpful). As a male guest (which I’m not either) I’d feel uncomfortable either way if there were no direction - is it disrespectful to wear one? Is it disrespectful not to wear one? Eeek! A note somewhere that everybody is going to read would ease a lot of people’s minds, I bet.