Would someone with spare time, sharp wit, verbiage, etc. write a certain post for me?

My idea is a post comparing ‘Cecil Adams’ with Santa Claus, a ‘Yes Straight Dope Message Board there is a Cecil Adams’, but I don’t have what it takes to make it a great post. Here’s the text of that classic editorial, and I’ve already given you the concept for the post- a parody of the editorial, replacing Santa with Cecil, etc. etc. Do something good with it. Then other posters can reply with messages of I BELIEVE IN YOU CECIL!, etc. Aim for a spot in Threadspotting.

The concept of Cecil has of course come under more fire now because of the fact that Cecil Adams was discovered to be a trademarked name- but it’s not like we didn’t already know it was a pen name. Anyway, let me know if this has been done before, and if you want to do it.

It’s been done.

From http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=294458&page=1&pp=50&highlight=cecil

I hope I’m not the only one who heard this in the voice of General Disarray.

Simpsons did it!

No.

I just e-mailed tomdeb asking if it was alright with him if I quoted it. I said it should be an “ornament” we bring out every year to decorate the board.