Guinastasia, I hope you were able to pick out my point despite my grievous error(I would have noticed if I had put any real thought into it. In fact I should more properly have chosen a set of denominations that had an expressed literal belief in the bible but I really don’t care to).
First of all, I’d like to nominate “Oh shucks…it’s Ragnarok,” as the highlight remark of this thread.
Secondly, I wonder if this “rapture” occured, and dreamer and WV_Woman were “left behind”…would they stop posting here, to make us think they were taken? When Jack Chick doesn’t get taken, I bet he’ll hide real good…maybe not having any pictures of himself made public is a little preemptive planning along those lines.
Thirdly, suppose the “rapture” already happened about 300+ years ago…and the only people who were taken were the Jamestown colonists? Makes ya think…no wait, it makes ya avoid thinking…must purge brain of “Coast to Coast AM”…ah, better now.
Still, I would love to hear what Art Bell would have to say after an event like the “rapture”, that would be a classic. The skits on the Phil Hendrie show that whole next month would be hilarious too.
Hasn’t anyone considered the possibility that a mass disappearance of Christians might be the result of some other god cleaning house, so to speak? 
A billion? I thought it was 144,000. See Revelation 7 and Revelation 14.
**
Yes, but 100 years has come and gone twenty times over.
Those awaiting Christ’s return would do well to remember what happened to the Aztecs when “Quetzalcoatl” finally showed back up.
So Jesus calls up the pope.
"How’s it hangin’, John Paul?’
“Very well, Lord, what can I do for you?”
“Well, John Paul, I’ve got some news to give you.”
“News, Lord?”
“Well, it’s good news and it’s bad news. Which would you like to hear first.”
“Well, Lord, I think the good news.”
“Okay, the good news is I’ve returned to Earth to set up my millenial Kingdom! That’s right, the end times are at hand.”
“That’s wonderful, Lord!”
“The bad news is, I’m calling you from Salt Lake City.”
billion? I thought it was 144,000. See Revelation 7 and Revelation 14.
No, the 144,000 are the Jews that will get a clue as to what has happened after the rapture takes place and evangelize some of those remaining.
Hence why, when they are mentioned, their tribes are named.
Yeah, that is exactly what the other God would want you to believe.
Yes ** RexDart **, I’d love to hear what Art Bell would have to say after the rapture too. Maybe there’s some kind of radio system in Heaven and the ones who attend the “Newly Raptured Souls” party will have him on. 
A brief historical note, then a little fun with this idea:
Well, some individuals at the time thought he was “Quetzalcoatl” returning from the east. The coincidences were there. Still, my History of Mexico professor argued that the real reason he was able to just to waltz right into Tenochtitlan was that Moctezuma couldn’t raise an army during the rainy season. Also, the Aztec “empire” was really a tributary one only, they didn’t have political control or military presence year-round over the outlying areas. So it was pretty easy for the Spaniards to turn the Toltecs and other of the Mixtecs neighbors against them. After a few days in Tenochtitlan, Moctezuma had figured out that this young Spaniard wasn’t Quetzalcoatl, though he had welcomed him as such at the gates of the city.
Of course, this brings up an interesting point. If someone appeared on Earth, an alien perhaps, who pretended to be Christ…would people follow him? I imagine this new “Christ” could explain away the reason he was here and no armageddon had occured. Another change of heart for the almighty, like 200 years ago? Time for a Newer New Testament? A few miracles, with the aid of unknown alien technologies, that would be all it took to convince many who want so badly to believe Christ is alive and in their lives. “Look, that’s him on TV,” they could say.
<art bell>Then we get the Newer New Testament. One World Government, headed by the New World Order, with “Christ” at the top. Throw some crucifix imagery on the side of the black helicopters, it’s all set. Meanwhile, “Christ” rules over all, weakening us all in preparation for the coming invasion by the aliens, after which we will all be servants of the new masters.</art bell>
Genseric is onto something here…it’s absolutely imperative that if anyone announce they are Christ returned from the grave, that we throw a glass of water at him right away. If that doesn’t work, we have to all cough at him. If neither of those has an effect, we need to pull his skin off his face to make sure he isn’t Jane Badler in disguise.
Well, I’m not enough of a Biblical scholar to sort out the chronology of Revelation, so I can’t refute your stance. Frankly, I’m not sure there even exists a Biblical scholar who can sort out Revelation enough to give the true chronology. However, I’m sure of one thing: if there is such a scholar, it sure as hell ain’t you.
So if I can’t refute you, per se, I’ll ask you: cite? The Rapture is only mentioned in 1 Thessalonians (see the OP). That being so, how do you know that the 144K will be sealed after the Rapture? I mean, if the Rapture isn’t even IN the last book, how can you work it in to the chronology??
CarnalK-oh I did! I just thought I’d mention it!
BTW, in case you wondered, the :rolleyes: in my post wasn’t directed at you, but at the post above mine.
My understanding is that the Rapture doctrine was invented by Darby in the middle 1800s as a response to Miller’s Great Disappointment.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/apocalypse/etc/cron2.html
An erudite discussion of the origins of the Rapture doctrine was presented in January, but unfortunately was lost in the great purge.
Hmmmmmmmm.
Is there any definite info on “Rapture”, btw? (Which was also a really kickass Blondie song.)
I thought the term actually originally meant an extremely intense orgasmic experience? That there was something sexual about it?
Unfortunately, the Catholic Encyclopedia site isn’t working.
So the pope’s secretary goes over to him and informs him that he has good news and bad news.
“What’s the good news?” asks the pope.
“Jesus has returned. He’s walking the streets of Rome.”
“That’s wonderful! That’s fantastic!” beams the pope. “This is the best news in the history of the world. What bad news could there possibly be?”
“Well, he says that he has yahrtzeit and is looking for a minyan for mincha so he can say kaddish.”
Glossary (doesn’t it spoil a joke if it needs a glossary?)
yahrtzeit: Anniversary of day of death. Usually observed for a parent.
Minyan: A quorom of 10 people for prayers.
Mincha: Afternoon prayers.
Kaddish: A prayer usually recited in memory of the deceased. Recited by children at their parents’ yahrtzeit.
Zev Steinhardt
The word itself comes from latin raptus which can be translated: to seize. (as in rapt attention, your attention is seized.) Rapture in essence means to be carried away. Either by emotion, sexual ecstasy, or divine intervention. The word was appropriated when the evangelical Christian churches began to interpret the book of Revelation as a literal description of the end-times.
Suddenly, being Left Behind seems so much sadder than beforfe.
This whole discussion reminds me of the Drake equation. I don’t remember it exactly, but - For there to be intelligent life out there somewhere, a certain set of conditions have to be met: there must be a star system with planets, one of the planets must have the conditions suitable for life, life must develop, and finally intelligent life must evolve, and this all must happen in the fifteen or so billion years that the universe has been around.
Trouble is, we have no clue about the chances of all of this. Astronomers are getting better at detecting systems with planets, I hear, but to determine the probability of life developing, and then intelligent life evolving, is a bit more of a task. It could be that most every planet that could create life does, and there’s intelligent life all over the place. Or maybe we’re the only planet. At present there’s simply no way of determining all of the variables.
Well, if all the fundamentalists disappear tomorrow, did the God of the fundamentalists do it, or (as others proposed) a God of some other group or bad ass aliens? Or (my favorite) a Stricker from the future who thought it would be the best practical joke in the history of the universe? There might not be any way of knowing.
I’m not saying a rapture wouldn’t be sufficient to convince me. I really don’t know. I’d think a lot, and I’d wonder, and I could very well be convinced.
But then again, I might continue to ponder the possibility of eventually gaining access to bad ass alien technology, and then having the time of my life.
All of us should be able to imagine an infinite number of possible causes of the fundamentalists disappearing. I hope that it would take something extraordinary for me to give up on these possibilities. To do that would be to give up an important part of myself.
Stricker van Gogh
Seek, and ye shalt find: the Drake equation. Google is quite god-like as usual 
I like both FyreFiend’s and Czarcasm’s responses. They really nailed it on the head.
If all the Christians disappeared, I think I’d sit down with Czarcasm and raise a pint of Old Shoggoth to great Cthulhu.
Sorry for the hijack, but I just thought that Jew with a clue would make a great user name (where appropriate).