Let's Say I've Decided the Rapture Is Imminent. Now What Do I Do?

This has grown out of a couple of recent threads about the coming rapture, including this one, which I don’t want to hijack.

Let’s say for some reason I’ve decided to adopt rapture theology and decided that Christ’s return is due within the next decade or two. What should I do? How should I change? I’m already a devout Christian who’s at church most Sunday’s. I accepted Christ as my Saviour decades ago. I formally repent of my sins every Sunday I’m at church before the Eucharist and informally somewhat more often. What do I do?

CJ

Well, I was going to recommend spending 9.9 years in a gross orgy of pleasure, and then straightening yourself out in the last five weeks, but that seems counter to the premise.

I dunno… turn your other cheek a lot?

When you drive, always have a passenger ready to slide into the driver’s seat in the event it suddenly becomes occupied.

… or unoccupied even :smiley:

unoccupied, that is.

Spend every waking minute terrifying the rest of us with the horrific pain and suffering God has in store for us or eternity, all for the unforgiveable atrocity of assuming that there wouldn’t be an afterlife since we can’t remember any 13.7 billion year long beforelife.

Sell everything you own, then send the money in unmarked bills to jjimm, Dublin.

Vote for Bush ? :smack:

Why are you asking the straight dope?
its not like they are christian-friendly.

What you do? What you always do, just live for Him, show others Him, and keep about your business(no selling everything etc.)
Seems lie you are doing that now,so, really, you ARE ready.

It isn’t a question of being Christian-friendly. The rapture is not a part of mainstream Christian belief. Some sects believe in it, which is fine by me but I think the basis for this belief is a misreading of the Book of Revelation. I read it as a message of hope for the early Christians under Roman persecution and certainly not on a canonical par with the Gospels or the books of Moses. Others certainly interpret it differently and in the end it won’t be any of us that decide what the correct intepretation is. But I feel safe in saying that the great majority of Christians do not believe in the Rapture.

Look busy!

Drive carefully. Keep a good stoping distance between your car and the one in front of you. According to several bumper stickers I have read, when the rapture happens, there will suddenly be scads of unoccupied cars on the road.

 Indeed I belive the secondary effect of the rapture will be the large number of traffic fatalities caused by suddenly empty cars that were going at highway speeds when their occupants were snatched up to heaven.

As there are a few schools of thought on the actual mechanics of the Rapture, you might want to prepare for the eventuality that God dosen’t fancy simply “disappearing” all believers at once, but might prefer a more picturesque “ascent” scenario. I’d recommend a convertable (or at least a car with a moonroof, if you’re skinny), and some easy-open skylights in your house. No sense in showing up before Jesus all battered and scraped up…

Oh, and clean underwear.

Soooo . . . what happens to people who die, like, five minutes after the Rapture? Is the whole Christian heaven/hell/purgatory deal off, post-Rapture, or what?

Actually, I’ve always found this board quite Christian-friendly, with the odd exception or two. I have found it unfriendly towards views which promote ignorance, such as Young Earth Creationism, and, in my opinion, rapture theology.

I will give you credit for one thing, though. One of the aspects of rapture theology I dislike is it strikes me as a sort of “Look busy! The Boss is coming!” mentality. To me, I should continue to live my life the way the same way whether Christ is due to return next week or next millenium. If He said He doesn’t know, which He did, I certainly can’t expect to.

Oh, and Sweetums, if there is a rapture and I lose my arguement with God and get caught up in it, yes, the fencers can have my stuff. I’m open to offers on a reasonably new Hyundai Accent. :wink:

CJ

If you beleive the Rapture is imminent and this beleif idn’t heald by many other people, I would seriously consider going to a psychiatrist for help. If on the other hand the belief was widespread, I’d consider going to the church and praying a lot.

How about spending some time reading the Bible. The entire thing. And noting how many times the Rapture is mentioned. Then get a list of the quotes that are used to justify belief in the Rapture, and read those quotes in context, and actually think about what they’re saying. And then, if you still have time, read up on books like When Time Shall be no More and Messianic Revolution, to learn about how the whole belief in the idea of the Rapture got started.

Open to offers??

 My dear **Siege**, I would expect that if you are caught up in the rapture you will have no need of the cash that would come from the sale of your Hyundai.

But since, as a non-christian, I would be "left behind" I would probably need a few extra bux. So I am checking the N.A.D.A.  blue book just in case.

  What year did you say your car was?

Sell your possessions and give to the poor?

It’s not like you’re going to need them, and Jesus recommends that anyway, in order to get a good investment in the Kingdom of God.

And clearing your material debts might be a good idea, too. God will forgive your sins, but if you show up in heaven with a bunch of unpaid credit card bills, well… :wink:

Jesus Christ, himself, was very specific: LOVE ONE AND OTHER…TREAT THE OTHER GUY LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED…that’s about it. He also mentioned not being judgemental.
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: