Please assume for the sake of discussion that the fundies get their wish, and the whole Rapture thing happens. Jesus shows up and takes the faithful to Heaven…or maybe it’s Vorlons taking them for Soylent Green. Whatever. Poof, massive missing persons cases due to Major Supernatural Event. What are you gonna do?
Me? I’m gonna have a bigger house. Got my eye on the one that belongs to the Sweet Little Old Lady on the corner. I figure if anybody I know gets called home, it’ll be her, so she won’t be needing the place…and I happen to know that her son gave her a really nice big screen TV last Christmas…
I would probably see what nice things they left behind that I might make use of in my home. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t be raptured, and even if I was I am sure I would be driving at the time and my car would slam into someone and kill them and BAM! I’d be in hell for killing. Either way it is a lose-lose situation.
If I knew that I would be raptured and I could know the exact time, I would try to be having sex when it happened. Not only would it be my last chance for some sweet loving, but also my dissapearance would probably also freak the guy out a good bit and I would find that amusing.
I guess if I survived the Rapture, I’d mostly loot the town for canned goods, until I could get my farm up & running. Post-rapture Earth doesn’t sound very thrilling, unless God has some sort of Star Trekian future planned for us.
Now of course the flaw in that logic is that having sex out of wedlock sort of negates you getting raptured, now, doesn’t it? I mean, yes, you have to be one of the chosen, but you also have to behave…
Of course, we will still be stuck with all the tele-evangelists left behind trying to get donations with promises of a sequel next summer, “Rapture II - He’s Back!”, and I guess there will be a lot of glum faces at the Vatican when they realize they are all still here…but aside from those party poopers, my guess is there won’t be a whole lot of people from Las Vegas missing in action, so it will be status quo here.
If the Kirk Cameron/Left Behind style Rapture happened, well, I would be running to the local Church to hide in the basement. Seriously, now, all that earthquake and horsemen crap seems kinda scary. Of course, on the run over there I would be blathering rather loudly about “those effing theists; I can’t believe those effing pretentious evangelical bastards were right, goddamn it (sorry, Lord)” or something of that nature.
I have to agree with this one. As fun as it is to imagine joyriding in a 747 or lying in a millionaire’s (now empty) pool with champagne, the Bible is pretty clear that a post-Rapture Earth is Not Going to Be a Fun Place To Be.
Realistically, being the religious sod I am, I’d probably freak out and cry. And try to get saved.
Well, if it happens, it happens. There’s nothing that I could do about it. I think I’d get a lawn chair and lay back and wait for a demon to claw my eyes out. If I’m saved, I’m safe on my lawn chair, no? If I’m not saved, then one way or another, I’m in Hell. What’s an extra day or 200 added to infinty? Why, it’s still infinity.
