My mother has recently developed this hobby of making T-shirt memory quilts as surprise presents for various friends and relatives. (Basically, you just take T-shirts with memorable logos or sentimental value, cut them up into squares, and make them into a quilt.) From the start, I said it was a bad idea to do this without getting a person’s permission first, even if you have the cooperation and blessing of someone close to them. You never know what items hold particular sentimental value for a person, and how they’d react to seeing them irreparably altered. Personally, I’d be kinda pissed if someone cut up my old shirts that way without asking me.
Mom sees it differently. She argues that most of the shirts she uses either don’t fit anymore or have been sitting in boxes for ages, and would be better put to use as a quilt that a person would actually see and use. I countered that she wouldn’t like it if someone cut up her wedding dress (which has been sitting in a box untouched) and turned it into doilies (which would get practical use), but she wouldn’t buy it.
So what’s your reaction? What would you think if, say, your parents or your SO had your old shirts cut up and turned into a quilt?
My mother did. Although, I think we discussed it together, and I had input on which t-shirts went into the quilt. It was definitely Mom’s idea. I had a few that I was reluctant to part with. She has also made one for her sister–lots of input from sister on that one, has offered to make one for her brother(he has to get the t-shirts to her). And she wanted to make one for my grandmother, but the window of opportunity where my grandmother would appreciate the result has closed.
Well in a way she’s right. If she has a bunch of boxes full of shirts that nobody is using that has been sitting on her property for ages, it only makes sense. If your clothes belong in any of these boxes, why haven’t you taken them yet?
I’d be extremely pissed. Even if the Tshirts are outgrown or worn out, they are MINE. Now, if someone asked and got my permission, I’d be very happy with it. But my stuff is MINE, and other people should keep their hands OFF. I like all my stuff, if I didn’t, I’d have already disposed of it.
If I left my stuff at her house, I’m at risk of it getting garage saled or donated or trashed every day. So I could hardly complain if she quilted them instead.
But if she took them from my house, or got some help from my wife in sneaking my stuff out so she could quilt it, I’d be mad as hell.
Not that I give a crap about mementos in general, or logo t-shirts in particular (of which I own zero), but the sheer effrontery of taking & destroying my goods without my knowledge is breathtaking. She might have to trade in that cozy nursing home I’m paying for for a refrigerator box.
My wife did this, except rather than a quilt she made them into dustrags. I didn’t know until I noticed a rag with my college dorm’s shield on it.
I was… bothered. Especially since pretty much all of my old printed T-shirts relate to events or groups that I took part in and so have varying measures of sentimental value.
Our compromise was that I designated two shirts as “cultural treasures” that were not to be touched, and the rest I could let go, though I made it understood that I appreciated being asked first.
I am not that sentimental about my t-shirts, but I’d still be pretty angry if someone cut up my shirts without asking me first! If she wants it to be a surprise, I guess she could ask them to let her have the shirts for a “craft” without telling them what exactly it is, but I think most people would enjoy the present a lot more if she checked first!
Pissed, pissed, pissed. What Lynn Bodini said. That’s my stuff. If you don’t want it in your house, tell me and I’ll come get it. But as long as we’re both agreed it’s my stuff, you don’t get to steal it, even if it’s for my benefit.
For the record, if she asked first, I’d love it! It’s a great idea, the quilt. It’s just not a great idea to cut up someone’s cherished mementos (which I can only assume the old t-shirts are if they’re being stored and not worn) without asking. She could even ask first in a general way, and let me rescue any specific off-limits shirts first, and surprise me with her choices and designs from there.
I think your wedding dress analogy was a good one. I don’t have a wedding dress saved (I wear it at least a few times a year, 'cause it’s not a wedding dressy dress), but I’d be just as upset if someone cut up my old boyfriend’s jeans from 1994 that I haven’t fit into for years. They’re the one sentimental memento from a bad relationship I let myself hold onto. They’ve moved with me three times now. I couldn’t begin to articulate why they mean so much to me, but they do, at least as much as a wedding dress does to her. If they were reduced to a square of denim, they wouldn’t be what they are.
If someone did that without asking me, I’d be pissed. That said, my husband was attached to a VERY ratty bathrobe for years. The sleeves were literally falling of the damn thing. I bought him a new one, but though he liked it very much, he still wore the disgusting one. So I gave it to his mother, who turned it into a teddy bear (and two throw pillows and a travel shaving bag.) He likes the bear, which now sits on a shelf in our living room, but is still claiming to be mad that we snuck his robe out. I guess I can understand that… but I’d rather live with a disgruntled spouse than that damn robe.
When my friend Dave died last year, three years after his parents lost their only other child, a family friend of theirs took Dave’s shirts and his sister’s and made them into a reversible quilt, one side for each of their children. The leftover fabric from Dave’s clothes was made into quilted star ornaments, and given to his friends this past Christmas. Of course, Dave had no say-so in this project, but it was a lovely memento for his parents and friends.
This would be my worry as well. I have a few t-shirts from special events or special group functions that I would be horrified to see turned into a quilt.
One is unworn and in a box but only because I can’t think of a way to display it as a memento. It has the signatures of the full cast and crew of a movie I worked on as a teen. A frined who owns a framing shop has offered to set it up behind glass, but we’re still trying to figure out how to do so in a way that displays both the front AND back.
We had a friend of the family die, and his old shirts were made into a quilt, and that was nice. But. . I can’t really see my shirts being a nice quilt. Really, does someone whose collection would form the basis of a “Nazi Punks Fuck Off”/ Death to the Pixies/ bike tool manufacturer theme quilt really want a quilt in the first place? You can do it after I die.
Well I say you have a good reason to be annoyed, but I suggest letting it go and have a laugh about it. Nothing good will come of it. (Don’t forget to tell her to ask you next time.)
I would probably be mad, but let me say I love the idea. I have a bunch of t-shirts from various rugby tournaments and t-shirts that I stole from other rugby teams from back in the days when I played, I think a quilt would be a cool way of using them.
Mostly annoyed, but it depends a little on who is doing it. My mom – probably okay, because I already know that she’ll turn anything into a quilt if you take your eyes off of it for two seconds, so if my t-shirts were at her house, they would be fair game. That’s like leaving a steak on the floor and being shocked and dismayed if the dog eats it.
Anyone else, I’d be a little … miffed? But I think I’d be able to get over it fairly quickly and try to appreciate the gesture.
Looking at it another way, I’d be surprised if someone could get it right without asking me first – I have sentimental t-shirts, but the way they go together is organized in my head, and I doubt someone else would figure it out. You might think two concert t-shirts would go together, but really, one is sentimental because it goes with the “summer of '85” t-shirts, while another one goes with “bands I saw at a specific venue.”
She didn’t make one out of my shirts; the only one she made out of shirts sitting boxed up on her property was for my brother as a college graduation present, from the couple boxes he left behind – which I think should be considered “safe” as long as he’s still in college. The other ones she made with the help of someone close to the person it was intended for – for example, she had my cousin sneak her a couple of my aunt’s old shirts.
Oh Boy. My husband has, what seems like hundreds of tee shirts that don’t fit, and haven’t been out of their boxes for years. He would come completely unglued if someone even ASKED him to allow them to be altered them in any way. He gets mad at me when I throw out dead socks! He mourned for days when his silk tee shirt became so fragile that it ended up in the lint filter.
Tell mom not everyone likes their clothing changed into bedding. I would probably burn the quilt, because it would offend me everytime I looked at it. It seems like a very arrogant attitude to think her quilt would hold the same value to me as something I sweated in and cried on. The pieces are no longer mementos, but simply rags sewn together.
Ice floe time! Some of those battered, torn shirts are relics. If anybody cut up my ARMS t-shirt for a quilt, it would be the last thing they did with unbroken fingers.
It would be one thing if the end result were attractive or useful, but I’ve never seen a t-shirt quilt that was anything but unattractive.
I have seen some nice wedding dress quilts (and some ugly ones), but knits don’t make nice quilts. Especially a bunch of half-worn out knits of different thicknesses.
