If I can find a cheap, easily attachable parrot, I will be wearing it this month. I am undergoing two succeeding eye surgeries and will probably be wearing an eye patch in the weeks between the surgeries.
I have already spoken to my boss about a 3-cornered hat and a parrot in the office. She’s ok with it, assuming the parrot is dead.
1- Would you carry a parrot on your shoulder if given the chance? Yes, in my perfect world - but the parrots don’t bite in that world.
2- Why or why not? Because it would balance the lizard on the other shoulder.
3- What sentences would you teach it to say? I like a lot of the above ideas… and also “As you wish” and “I EAT cats!”
4- Do you like pirates? Yes, but only pirates from that same, perfect world… Pirates with great swashbuckling moves and no need to pirate poor lil me…
Arggggggggggggh…sorry, couldn’t resist - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H6DSoqZz_s 
1- Nope
2- Our parrot likes to bite me (he’s kind of jealous of me because he’s very attached to my husband)
3- He can say a lot of stuff, including complete sentences, but to my knowledge has never learned anything that anyone has ever purposely tried to teach him. He just picks up stuff he hears around the house.
4- Sure, but my parrot doesn’t
Parrots can be very loving or very temperamental. When I had a parrot, she didnt’ like my shoulder. But yeah, sure, I’d carry one. Others I’ve carried with a simple solution of a towel flung over my shoulder…however if they like to eat/play with said towel, this won’t work. Also you can do it at home with an old shirt which you can throw in the laundry.
Birds are my fav and their only problem is they poop everywhere. Ah well - at least they dont’ eat it like dogs or hide it like cats.
I sometimes carry a Siamese cat on my shoulder, but it’s never my idea. Sapphire loves to stand on people’s shoulders and supervise their activities or offer a running commentary on Life, the Universe, and Everything.
I wouldn’t carry a parrot on my shoulder because Sapphire would get even more jealous than she already is. She does not like me petting the other two cats. Even if I didn’t have a shoulder-sitting cat, I wouldn’t carry a parrot on my shoulder, mostly because parrots poop. I wear eyeglasses, too, and they are bright and shiny. Anyone who has seen a parrot around a bright, shiny object knows how the parrot will react.
If I did not have cats, I’d probably have a bird or two of some sort. I had budgies when I was a child/teen, and I enjoyed their antics. I think that a parrot would be even more interesting. I think that having a parrot and cats in the same household would become TOO interesting, though.
1- Would you carry a parrot on your shoulder if given the chance?
Absolutely, and I do, daily.
2- Why or why not?
They’re so cute and my particular one leans her little warm head against my cheek.
3- What sentences would you teach it to say?
“How appropriate, you smell like a cow!” (random monkey island quote)
4- Do you like pirates?
Why, yes, yes I do.
Of course not.
A while back we had a thread about guys who wear hats. Not baseball caps or work-related chapeaus, but hats, like fedoras and porkpie hats and such. I wrote - and got a surprising number of assenting opinions - that the problem with a guy who decides to start wearing a hat like that is that what it tells everyone is “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! I’m wearing a hat!!” It’s pure affectation.
A parrot would be like that, but squared, and then cubed, and then whatever verb means “to the fourth power.”
“Hello, I’m Rick’s parrot and I’m sitting here in my cage because my owner is smart enough to not carry a fucking bird around on his shoulder. You’ll note Rick doesn’t have birdshit on his jacket. Brawwwwk!”
Pirates are the enemies of the human race and should be executed. Dressing up like a pirate is fun at Halloween and all, but of course nobody likes actual pirates, it’s like saying “I like rapists.”
This recent Internet obsession with pirates is retarded.
Are not! Stop slandering them! As POTC 1 and 2 clearly show, they’re really cool people with hearts of gold. Except for the bad ones that is.
I carry a parrot on my shoulder around the house all the time. I like it, I like having a companion.
What does he say? “I love you,” and a Simpson-like “woo-woo.”
1- Sure, why not. I dunno about forever, but I’ll try it.
2- Chicks love birds.
3- “That’s what SHE said” “Giggity giggity” “Pining for the fjords”
4- YAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!
What’s a pirate’s favorite fast food place? Arrrrrrrbies 
this is an ex-post
Yarr. Um… that is, yes. I would because I do. OK, it’s a very, very small parrot (a budgie).
They’re about as good companion animal as a human can find - highly intelligent and lots of fun.
At the moment, mine has a vocabulary including:
“Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock”
“Hello mate”
“Come 'ere” (spoken in the style of Ron Moody’s Fagin from Oliver!)
“Squeaky bird”
“Beaky bird”
“I like to move it, move it”
“Manah Manah, doo doo, doo doo doo”
“Howdy Doodly Do”
“Hello squeak face”
…And quite a few other phrases he’s picked up without us trying to teach him (for example “Would you kids stop jumping on the furniture!”
I’m currently teaching him to say “baby birds are called bees”
Yarr
Depends. My parrots are small and frequently get shoulder-time. I would not, however, put a macaw on my shoulder because 1) the dominance and potential phyiscal damage thing and 2) it’s such a large bird I might be unbalanced to the point of falling over, which would upset us both.
Because, like someone said, they snuggle their warm little heads against your cheek. Or ear. They murmur quiet little murmurs at you. OK, occassionally they nip or shriek, but it’s pretty rare and since I have small parrots the damage they can do is minimal.
About the poop - yes, parrots poop. So do you. The difference is that the amount of toilet training you can impose on a parrot is much less than for a human. I have “bird shirts”. I wear these for “shoulder time”. The birds have been taught that while it is acceptable to ride around on those shirt, my other shirts are off-limits. This leads to them dancing around on their cage roof with impatience when I come home from work, until I put on a bird shirt and they can get their snuggle time.
I don’t require my birds to learn English. However, those that have, have had phrases such as “pretty bird” and “I love you”. They’ve also immitated ringing phones and human laughter.
In fiction, not real life.
My budgie was forever on my shoulder when he wasn’t hanging from my hair trying to see himself in reflection in my eye. Does that count?
A full fledged parrot? I don’t know. There’s the question of seriously increased bird shit. And much bigger beak and claws.
Well my bird was named Nietzsche so I should have taught him to say “God is dead”. But we only got as far as “Pretty bird”.
Johnny Depp can wrap his legs around my shoulders anytime.
I agree with pretty much everything that **RickJay **has already said.
I have two Amazon parrots. Both of them get out-of-cage play time and plenty of attention, but that does not include riding around on my shoulder. Besides the obvious problem of massive, wet, random shitting by the birds, one of them is a mean bastard who once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die and the other is a rescued bird with an old foot injury who has trouble keeping her balance without latching onto nearby anythings with her knifelike beak.
As for speaking, both parrots have huge vocabularies and are learning new stuff to say all the time from the noises and sounds in the house.
1- Would you carry a parrot on your shoulder if given the chance?
2- Why or why not?
3- What sentences would you teach it to say?
4- Do you like pirates?
1 - Maybe. Much more interested in shoulder-training my ferret.
2 - Don’t trust birds as much as ferrets
3 - The upside is that parrots talk. Hmmm…“Sacre Blue!” Ferrets only say “dook, dook, dook”
4 - I would happily sit on Johnny Depp’s shoulder.
1- Would you carry a parrot on your shoulder if given the chance?
Once in awhile.
2- Why or why not?
Cause I’m funny like that.
3- What sentences would you teach it to say?
Boogity, Boogity, Boogity. Let’s go racin’ boys.
4- Do you like pirates?
Not in and of themselves.