I saw a man with a parrot on his shoulder a couple years ago. Ever since, I thought that no one in their right mind would elect NOT to have a parrot on their shoulder. Especially a smart, talkative parrot. It appears I was wrong! Some people disagree with me.
Thus this poll:
1- Would you carry a parrot on your shoulder if given the chance?
2- Why or why not?
3- What sentences would you teach it to say?
4- Do you like pirates?
1 - Of course.
2 - …it’s a shoulder parrot.
3 - It should remain perfectly still and silent unless I twitch my shoulder just so, at which point it should suddenly flap its wings, look around frantically, and yell “NINJAAAS!”
4 - They’re okay as it goes, but they should always be on the lookout for ninjas, hence my answer to 3.
Yes, of course.
I need both hands to carry the groceries.
Pick that up. Brush your teeth. No, the other foot. Do you have your homework? Actually I wouldn’t have to teach it. It would have those cold by the end of the week.
Naturally. My own dear son is a pirate. Unless, he’s a spy. Or a space alien. What is this? Tuesday?
We are soulmates.
I have often carried parrots on my shoulder in the privacy of my own home. Sometimes I have one on EACH shoulder. That’s twice as good…unless they fight.
When it comes to leaving the house, the environment – ninjas and all – is not normally safe enough or controllable enough for my parrots. I endanger only myself going outside, of course only going out in order to bring back parrot food and toys.
Sailboat
One of my parrot books *strongly *recommends against allowing a parrot to be on your shoulder. Their beaks are *very *sharp and if they go into a rage (and parrots sometimes will) they could do a lot of damage to your ear, your eye or face.
Having said that, I have never had a parrot go into a rage. I usually don’t allow one to sit on my shoulder though.
I would and do regularly.
We are soulmates. 
Yeah I should qualify, I would and do, but others shouldn’t. My parrot is small and fairly predictable. But generally speaking it’s not safe. And with a large parrot it’s borderline insanity.
Although I have, I would suggest against it. I have seen a parrot remove an earing, without the usual pleasantries. I have seen the after effect of a parrot removing a section of a person’s eyebrow. I have also seen a Blue and Gold Macaw with clipped primaries fly off a guy’s shoulder into the path of a vehicle, leaving only bits/pieces.
1- Maybe for a day, if I could pick the day.
2- Someone has asked me for a shoulder to cry on.
3- Someone call the waaaahmbulance. Booo friggen hoo. Tell it to someone who cares.
4- Only if they are sad.
Are you going to do a survey about all the people who carry a monkey on their backs?
1- I do frequently.
2- He really likes it.
3- I have the only parrot in the world who doesn’t speak.
4- Not particularly.
Aside from the ripping of the earlobes and such, I have read that a parrot shouldn’t get too much “shoulder time” because there is some sort of power struggle going on between owner and parrot and one must keep the parrot in its place. Not sure if there’s truth to that.
Mine is small enough that I can carry him on my fingers all day long without the talons bothering me, if that gives you an idea of size. He’s well behaved, though there’s nothing to keep him from ripping a chunk of my lip off, in the same way that when I have a sleeping cat on my chest, there’s nothing to keep it from clawing my eyes out all of a sudden.
Slightly OT, but I was walking on a college campus this weekend and saw a girl walking a rabbit on a leash. A little later she had the rabbit sitting on her shoulder.
Pretty amazing stuff. Made me look twice. Both times, the rabbit seemed to be completely comfortable and at ease.
I was once walking past a movie set in Pasadena and saw some guy–presumably an animal handler–walking around the set with a parrot on his shoulder. Later, I walked past a trailer, where some bearded actor was chain-smoking and yelling at a young girl (presumably a production assistant) that, “I’m not going to act with a ****ing bird, it’s not in my ****ing contract, I’m not going to ****ing do it, you ****ing ****!” The actor turned out to be Val Kilmer and the movie was Wonderland (about the Wonderland murders and John Holmes, who Kilmer was playing). I can’t figure out how the bird would have figured into the plot, and anyway whatever scenes they were shooting were apparently cut because there was no sign of the Pasadena City Hall in the film, but I guess Kilmer got his way about the bird.
I’m not sure what the point of that was, but I suspect you won’t ever see Val Kilmer walking around with a parrot on his shoulder. And not that I wish to condone Kilmer’s behavior or language, but I wouldn’t act with a ****ing bird, either.
Stranger
1- Only if he really wants to be my companion.
2- All the other lifeforms on my body are microscopic and frankly not that entertaining.
3- I would teach him all the possibilities that the Magic 8 Ball gives. I could ask him about anything and he would reply (e.g, Outlook not so good or My sources say no). My bet is that the parrot will become even more accurate than a Magic 8 Ball because he can study and learn outcomes. I can also charge people to ask him a question.
4- I have mixed feelings about pirates. Real pirates weren’t always romantic and exotic. Lots of them were like that creepy guy that drives by your house over and over in a van with the headlights off. I like Chuck Norris better.