As the old saying goes “You can’t chose your family, but you can choose your children’s family.”
So let’s say that you had been born into a different family. You meet someone from your current family, and you really hit it off. You think “this could be the one.” Then you are invited to a family gathering, with all your current relatives.
Would you marry into that family, if you had the option?
Yes! As I grew older (20-ish, say), I realized how lucky I was to have such a curious, eclectic, closely-bonded yet far-flung, loving, crazy maternal family. It’s no wonder that my father (among others) chose to spend much more time with them/us than with most members of his own blood relatives.
Only if the potential mate was as awesome as me. 
Seriously, though, my family is dysfunctional and toxic. There are two people in it that are an asset and the rest are liabilities.
I’d marry someone regardless of their family but only if we stay the hell away from the dangerous ones.
It depends on which branch we’re talking about. Dad’s side I would like a shot; they are a bunch of silly and smart people who are really a joy to be around. And not just in my opinion; we have a lot of “adopted cousins” - friends and neighbors who have basically become part of the extended whole. Mother side - not a chance in Hell. All of them are basically mean drunks and addicts who can’t stand each other. So basically, why would I want to?
My mom’s side are all crazy, but in a good way, and I fit in well with most of them. Yes, I’d marry into that family.
My dad’s side are also all crazy, but mostly in bad ways. Stay away.
On the whole, though, my mom’s side makes up a much greater proportion of my family than my dad’s side (she was one of 11 children, and her generation averaged over three kids each, plus currently three generations past them), so if I have to give a single answer to the question, it’s yes.
I voted “hell, no”, but that was extremely unfair and mean of me. Any chance of changing my vote?
To be honest: I don’t have a fantastic relationship with my family, but that’s really only because of me and my problems, not because of them. Anyone marrying in would do just fine.
Actually, when I’ve split up with certain girlfriends, I sort of suspect that my mother looked up whether there was some way for her to keep the girlfriend around, and get rid of me instead. OK, not really. But if I were my mother, I would probably have been thinking something along those lines.
If I thought the person was “the one” it wouldn’t matter to me what her family was like.
No way, man. We crazy.
While I have had my issues with my parents over the years, they are some of the kindest, most welcoming and most generous people I know. Many people have asked me if my parents could adopt them. Visiting them is like staying at a fine hotel that caters to your every wish. I think you could do a lot worse than to marry into my family.
Before I even saw the options I was thinking “No way in hell!”
None of us are bad, evil people (we’re essentially good people), but to some extent each of us is somewhat dysfunctional with possible low-level mental illnesses.
In fact, I should never have married anyone, just to save her from having me inflicted on her.
This part? To a T.
Heck, yeah! Both of my brothers-in-law agree completely. My family is spiffing.
(Also very small. There really aren’t many of us at all. So we’re low-overhead that way. No “reunions,” just dinner.)
My wife’s family and mine are very much alike. Mostly same foibles, same values, our dads worked in the same industrial facility, we grew up about 5 country miles apart. Different schools so we didn’t know each others families. 3 of my brothers’ wives are from her school so she knew some of them before I did or at least knew their siblings. Or they knew her siblings. Her parents are from much larger families than mine plus hers are local whereas most of my parents siblings are across several states. So all in all after marriage I gained more siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins (my God are there cousins. 100+ not counting spouses I think.)
I’d join up to the family as a whole, no problem. I would not, however, join up to my branch. My siblings are just toxic.
Absolutely. Most everyone is smart, witty, and sarcastic. There is one dud, but he never shows up for anything other than a wedding or funeral.
mmm
I’m not sure how to answer this question. I think my baby ister is a good catch; if one of my male friends wanted to go out with or marry her, I think he’d be making a good choice. But in addition to being my sister, she’s a lot younger than me, and I have to always remind myself that she’s a grown woman, not the baby whose diapers I was changing when I was 10. So even though she is older than my wife, I cannot think of her sexually.
I’'d never marry any ofmy other sisters, even the ones I like. They’re too Pentecostal.
My family is very clannish (in the Scots sense, not that other kind). My SILs have had a tough time fitting in and two of them – so far – have not lasted.
So, yeah, we’re not the ideal family to try and fit in with.
I picked the top choice but it’s probably between #1 & #2. There’s nothing wrong with my family and we can all have a pleasant Thanksgiving meal without anyone throwing chairs, screaming about the Jews or groping the nieces. But it’s not as though we’re a Hallmark card of love and self-sacrifice or anything that marrying into it is any sort of great win. Just a fairly normal, adjusted family.
So, yes, I’d marry into it and not need caveats of rarely seeing them but I wouldn’t go bragging about it either.
“Just a fairly normal, adjusted family.”
I know all those words and the whole sentence appears English, but for the life of me, I can’t make heads nor tails of it.
Sure I would. My family has its quirks, but no one is a serial killer or blatant racist or anything like that. We treat each other well and we can have fun together for at least a few hours, which is about as much you can hope for with in-laws.