Say you find your soulmate…they have a sibling or parent with a disability requiring a family member to care for them (not severe enough or culturally apprpriate to warrant being in a group/nursing home). Theyre being currently cared for by the other parent, but that parent is elderly. Its established that when that parent passes away responsibility will be passed onto your SO. Would you be willing to live with them knowing youd have to invest significant time caring for your in-law?
My soulmate?
Absolutely yes.
It’s not something I would want, but it seems to me that if I’m madly in love someone, then nothing in the world will keep me from living with them. Unless the person we’d be caring for would make our lives extremely hard and hellish, then it would be something I could live with.
Well, hell, I married someone with an actual disability, I suppose I could handle having a disabled relative around.
Which is not to say I think such situations are a picnic or easily handled. It can be downright hellish depending on the disability but I’d like to think my spouse and I could work something out that isn’t too horrible for all concerned.
Geez. That’s all I got. Geez.
Its fair question.
I would HATE to think, if I ever had a child grow up and fall in love, that the person they would fall in love with would ever hesitate or balk at the idea of spending the rest of their life with my child simply because I have a disability. That doesn’t seem fair to me.
Not just because you have a disability. This would mean you would eventually, no matter what, be in their care.
In my case, parents, yes - provided the man had a good relationship with his parent and wants to do it (i.e., it’s a loving family). If there is drama and serious relationship angst…well, that would be enough of a dealbreaker before we ever got to the disability.
Sibling? My gut instinct says “no” and then “hell no” but that seems peremptory and cruel…I suppose I’d have to think on it.
I admit, I didn’t fully digest the OP. I was more responding the the thread title description and others’ posts.
Does it make more sense now? Good heavens, I wouldn’t not date someone just because their dad had a disability! Only if I thought I would be taking care of him in just a few years would I worry.
Would I marry someone who doesn’t read the OPs before replying… hmmmm. That’s a tough one. 
(Seriously, though. The point of the OP was pretty laid out).
I don’t see why not, as long as all parties involved are reasonable and realistic.
As long as the details and ramifications were all hashed out and deemed do-able beforehand. IMHO, if you marry or partner-up with someone, you accept their relationship with their family as a matter of course.
I read it too quickly and I came away with “would you marry someone with a disabled parent or sibling?” Which is exactly what the OP thread title asks. My bad. :o
I’d have a hard time marrying someone who put ‘love’ in front of their family, anyway. Like, if a guy said, “Well, I’ll stick Ma in a home if you really don’t like it - I don’t want to lose you.” So much for familial loyalty.
Depends on the situation, but I can’t imagine falling in love with a ‘soulmate’ in the first place. All relationships I’ve had were negotiable.
For a ‘soulmate’? No hesitation.
In real life, starting out dating someone I really liked, with this looming? It would probably depend on how much I liked the future in-law/dependant. If they were a total misery it might be a dealbreaker.
My RL situation is kinda close. My dad is permanently disabled, my mother is currently caring for him (this isn’t an ideal situation though) BUT they are only in their 50s. My fiance’s mom is in good health and will probably make it at least another decade, but she’s 75, lives alone and her other children are much busier than we are. I love my dad, who is pretty easy to get along with, and I love my future MIL more than my own mother. Both my fiance and I are open to the possibilty that we might be doing quite a bit of care for both in the future (but probably not at the same time/in the same house).
A marriage makes you part of another family. By all means scope things out before you commit, because these situations are common.
I was just teasing. 
I know 
Sheesh, I hope so. I’ve got three kids and one is autistic. Siblings are generally the one’s who will be around longest…
I was thinking about this and my son who is also the older sibling to his autistic sister. I would never force, or ask him to take on the responsibility when we die. Though he has made it clear he fully intends on taking her with him if something happens to us*. He is the best sibling ever.
- Though 15, he is 8 years older than her. And I still have a special item in the mini safe, something he wrote 6ish years ago for school.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” A doctor
“Why would this be a good choice for you” So I can try to cure my sisters autism and even if its not able to be saved I can always have money to take her to see barney.
I hope so. My husband’s disabled and I’d hate to think my sons would go through life without a permanent relationship because of some ill conceived idea on the part of the women they might meet.