Are you or have you ever been responsible for the care of an adult sibling, whether temporarily or long term? Do you anticipate ever being in this situation? Can you imagine situations where you would or wouldn’t take on such responsibility? Would it make a difference if it was your sib or your spouse/partner/SO’s sib?
We may be facing such a situation in the next few years and I’d like to hear others’ experiences to help me decide the best course of action. Nothing is imminent, and it may never happen, but I tend to “What if…” as an exercise in planning.
There are three potential scenarios, one being highly likely, the others less so.
individual with mental and emotional issues who never has/never will live independently.
individual with self-induced physical limitations due to years of ignoring sound medical advice.
individual whose lifestyle could lead to a state of dependency.
We’re both working for our last few years, flirting with total retirement by the end of 2018, followed by a life if leisure and travel. We’ve got a comfortable financial cushion, with a little room for unexpected emergencies. The sibs in question have no savings to speak of and no offspring to care for them, plus no real contingency plans.
Legally, we’re not responsible for any of them. One side of me says you take care of family, period. The other side says that lack of planning on their part doesn’t constitute an inconvenience/emergency on my part. I’m OK with helping navigate available services and other resources to get any and all settled in acceptable situations, but I’m much less OK with having any of them move in with us.
What to do? Where are the lines dividing caring sibling from heartless bitch from doormat/martyr?