The Lotteria fast-food chain has released a huge burger in Japan, one that can be stacked with as many as 10 beef patties. Said patties appear to be practically doused in cheese and grease and, as the link below demonstrates, the burger itself is pretty unwieldy and difficult to eat:
Looks like more of a stunt than something people would actually enjoy eating. For $12 I’d want something more exciting than bun-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese-pickle-mustard-bun, but each to his own.
I wouldn’t eat it were it goat,
Nor fox nor boxed nor in a boat.
Seriously, that’s just way too much of a good thing. I like a good cheeseburger but I wouldn’t enjoy eating ten at a time. Except maybe for those tiny White Castle sliders.
I would not eat it in a wrapper,
I would not eat it in the crapper.
I would not eat it at the fair,
I would not eat it anywhere.
I would not eat it with a sailor,
I would not eat it, kidneyfailure.
Ahem. I like a cheeseburger, but I don’t think I’d like this. It’s nothing but beef patties and cheese, one pickle, and some ketchup. Maybe it would be a fun idea for a beer-league team, if each member is equipped with a knife and fork; but for one person, I’d say it’s a little much.
Oh, but you’d be spending plenty of damn time in the crapper after eating it, believe you me.
I’d tackle one, but I doubt I’d like it too much. Yes, it does seem to be mostly meat and cheese, so it would at least probably be decent enough. I’d probably like it better if it were just loaded with toppings, though: onion, tomato, bacon, mayo, all that good stuff.
I appreciate bad burgers. Of course I’d much rather eat a good one. But still, you have to have a Bad Burger every so often to keep things in perspective.
Having said that, no; I would not eat that burger. It’s not because it ‘looks ugly’. It’s not because it appears to be a Bad Burger. It’s not because it just looks boring. It’s because it’s entirely too big. I’d rather eat three Big Macs. (And I would not eat three Big Macs, even though I’ll eat one.) It’s just too much.
My biggest issue ( but hardly the only one ) is structural. It just looks too damn difficult to eat.
I did once order a massive 20 oz. burger on a thick-crusted sourdough roll, just for the hell of it. Made it maybe 3/4 of the way through that and I was a lot younger then.
I love hamburgers, but that kind of gloppy cheese is an insult to the tastebuds. The cheese on cheesburgers is usually the worst tasting type of American cheese there is (it says something about us as a nation that the absolutely best American cheese has no flavor whatsoever). If I do want cheese, I want decent stuff, like Swiss (especially Emmanthaler).
