Would you eat another guy’s mustache?

A sportscaster lost a bet that Pittsburgh would lose to Virginia Tech last weekend and had to eat Dave Wannstedt’s mustache today on national TV. What would it take for you to eat another guy’s mustache?

That depends, what are you offering?

I wouldn’t even eat my own moustache – and I know what it’s been marinated in.

It would certainly be an unpleasant experience. Better than eating poop or drinking cum, but unpleasant all the same. Hmmm… If the guy washed his face right before I’d do for a bottle of decent Irish whiskey. If not… a case of decent Irish whiskey. And I get to drink a glass or two right before.

Hell, I wouldn’t eat my own mustache because I know what’s been in it!


Very simple, PAY ME.:D:D

I’m not a guy, can’t grow a mustache. Is this a board for men only?

Good grief.

Yeah, it may seem stupid to you, but it is a continual thing on this board to assume that everyone reading your post is a man. If you are a man, you wouldn’t notice it, of course.

Im looking over the thread title and OP and I can’t fathom how you’ve concluded that this thread is in any way exclusive to those who can grow mustaches. Is it because of the use of “another”? I’m sure that’s just to accentuate that one’s own mustache doesn’t count, in case you are a person that has or can grow one. The question in the OP doesn’t require that one be able to grow a mustache to answer, but have a mouth to eat one.

But what if it were? If someone started a thread regarding growing mustaches, why would it be okay for you to threadshit and ask such a stupid question? A thread regarding growing mustaches wouldn’t deem this a message board for men only, just as threads that are regarding things that are generally exclusive to women don’t make it a board for women only.

It’s true, and that’s a problem. We should always bear in mind that this board is an inclusive community comprising men and women from all 50 states across the nation.

In this case, however, the question isn’t really gender-specific, since nobody is being asked to eat their own moustache.

No, it really is a gender-specific thread. Otherwise it would be titled,

“Guys: would you eat another man’s mustache?”

Imagine if it was aimed at women. “Women: would you eat a mustache?”

See how that is different?

I know this is a dumb thread and it makes it seem like my hijack is even stupider than it is. But my general irritation is not just my own – although I may be the only woman on this board lame enough to open a thread with that title.

The assumption by many men on this board is that men are the default audience and that any women should just adapt to that fact, is extremely noticeable, more than any discussion board I have ever spent any time on, including ones pertaining to male-dominated hobbies. Perhaps there is a free-wheeling cigars and brandy attitude on the Dope which makes some men forget that they are not the only ones in the room.

OK, you specified two ways to title it which are gender-specific, neither of which is the phrasing of the actual title. Now how would you title it so it wasn’t gender-specific? While maintaining the distinction that nobody could eat their own moustache, of course.

Um, women can grow mustaches too.

Is the mustache pre-shaved or do we have to gnaw it off the lip?

Hard pass either way, but it might make a difference to someone.


“Would you eat a man’s mustache?” is the best I can do. It does imply that, if you are a man, that it isn’t your mustache, although not as firmly as I would like.

Or you could go with awkward:

“Men: would you eat another man’s mustache?
Women: would you eat any man’s mustache?”

Would you eat someone else’s mustache?

Or Would you eat another person’s mustache. My bad on the choice of words. No exclusion intended.

Ridiculous hijack aside – nope. I can’t fathom trying to swallow a mouthful of hair, especially short, stabby ones that compose a mustache, without gagging and choking.

How fine are you allowed to dice it? Hair is not at all nice to eat, and facial hair is particularly coarse. If it has to be ‘straight as comes off the face’ - well, no, I think I’d be hurling all over someone’s shoe if I tried it

(I guess I should ask… how exactly DID moustache-eater manage to choke the thing down?)