Would you have taken offense?

On the way home from work yesterday, I was toddling up the concrete ramp to the train station. Just ahead of me was a dad trailing two kids from the local primary school, one about Grade 3 (age 8) and the other a teensie-tiny little preppie (maybe 5yrs old), all decked out in his brand new uniform and the big-wide brimmed hat.

And he looked sooooo cute, and I was musing to myself that the kidlets starting school nowadays look far too small and vulnerable to be at big school, were my kids like that all those years ago??, shit, I was only four when I started school etc etc when the little fella suddenly whipped out his willie and took a whizz right on the ramp in front of me!! :smiley:

Well, I just cracked up. Dad noticed what jr was doing, told him off, so kid pointed the offending hose onto the side-railing of the ramp…which overlooks the outside eating-area of a cafe which happened to be well-patronised with customers at the time (didn’t hit anybody but oh so close!!) At that point, I lost it completely. Funniest thing I had seen in ages.
However, a woman coming up behind me had a totally different reaction. All she could say was, "Oh my god, oh my god, that is so depraved, oh my god, isn’t that illegal, oh my god ad nauseum". The look of sheer disgust and disdain she had for this whole family made ME feel bad, and I can’t begin to imagine how they must have felt after her outburst.

Now, maybe I’m just immune to the weird and sometimes disgusting things that kids do, but my response was that it was just a little tacker coming home from school and he desperately needed a pee NOW. In the months and years ahead, he will undoubtedly learn that there are appropriate times and places etc for such things as bodily evacuations to take place, but at age 5 (and possibly having saved up his wee all day ‘cos school dunnies are scarey places where the older kids stick yer’ head in the loo as an initiation rite etc :stuck_out_tongue: ) it isn’t really a Big Issue IMHO.
So, would you be mortally offended if a little kid took a whizz on the sidewalk in front of you?


A kid that size, no. A grown up, in a place where toilets are available not so far, yes… but not a li’l kid; I remember how many times our parents asked “do you have to go? Are you sure?” and we said no… only to ask “uh, Daddy?” five minutes into the trip.

Nup. The lady behind you must think all willies are “OMG!” things. Hate to think what she’d do if a dog cocked his leg in front of her eyes.

I’d actually be more annoyed by Ms. Screamy McMortified’s behaviour than I would be by the kid’s

Same here. Also, BAND NAME! :smiley:

I was. I rolled my eyes so far back into my sockets that they disappeared for a time!!


But then I burst out laughing again. :smiley:

I laughed just reading the description…no, I wouldn’t have been offended.

I continue to be just chuffed and amazed by how ‘normal’ youse Dopers are. Thanks for agreeing with me.

It’s the rest of humanity I have to worry about!! :smiley:

Might have been that she was an American tourist. And no, I would not have been offended.

Offended? No

Jealous? Hell yes! :smiley:
I remember when I was living in San Diego Cal (Ocean Beach). My GF and I used to live in a quadroplex.

Well, one sunny afternoon me and my GF’s little son were chilling in the living room with the front door wide open to capitalize on some of the cool breezes coming through that day.

During this time our land lady came by to show the property off to some potential tenants. The little boy (4yo) spotted the landlady with her friends as she was walking up the walk way right by our apartment. Him, be the gregarious soul he is, decided to run out and greet our potential new neighbors.

As soon as he got out the front door he whipped out his little willie and proceeded to take a piss. With out missing a beat he greeted the crowd with: “Hey! How’s it going? Are y’all gonna move in next door?”

They responded with laughter which is good. (I think)

It’s too funny to take offense, but I am not surprised that there was that type of reaction.

You know what? I don’t have a problem with the stuffy old coot either. The kid got to hear at least one reaction that let him know that what he was doing offends some people. He’ll learn from it.

The other day at a busy resort poolside, I saw about a 3 or so year old little boy toddle over to the side of the swimming pool and let loose a stream. His mother threw 10 kinds of fits, but I was laughing my ass off. I don’t know what came over him, but he clearly thought it was the right thing to do! So no- offended? No.

Nothing wrong with a little kid watering the grass. I would have laughed, too. It’s what kids do. 20-odd years ago, back when Prince William of Wales was three or four, his nanny took him for a walk in a park, where a photographer snapped a shot of him peeing al fresco. The pic was sold to the British tabs, which printed it on their front pages, along with headlines that said “Royal Wee” and “Prince Willie.”

So it’s late in the afternoon on a beautiful beach on the South China Sea, everybody has been on the beach the whole day. Largely people have begun to go home as the sun is beginning to set. There’s a small clutch of maybe 3 adults standing in the water and there’s a beautiful young girl of about 3 yrs whose been playing on the waters edge all day long.

Suddenly she screams to her Mom up on the beach, “Mama, I need to pee!” To which her Mom replies, “Just go in the water!” At which point the adults in the ocean jumped out like they sighted a shark! :stuck_out_tongue:

Cracked up everyone on the beach who saw it! :smiley:

Eating at a restaurant along the shore, I once overheard a conversation. Apparently the four-year-old boy at that table had taken advantage of the fact that we were adjacent to the water to pee in the water. The parents were embarassed, everyone who saw the scene was amused (I hadn’t). The father’s comment was that he’d told the kid to do that off their own dock at one point (rather than make the trek back to the house) and now the kid wanted to do it at every opportunity. They were working on explaining to him the difference between the rule in their yard (their dock) and rules in public places. The waitress had a son–when he was 4 he liked to pee outdoors on trees.

I would be about as offended as I would be if someone spit on the sidewalk near me. That is, it would not ruin my day, but I would not exactly dig it either. It’s gross, and I don’t want to see it. And I really draw the line at the stream being directed “oh so close” to someplace where people are eating.

I’d have reacted exactly the same way as the OP. I might have been tempted to feign shocked agreement with the screechy lady, but only in order to deliver the line “Yes, and all these people are NAKED underneath their clothes!”

If I were the Parental Unit of the little tyke, yes, I would definitely be offended by your laughing at my kid! So there :stuck_out_tongue:

(IOW, no, not offended at all. Although at age 5, I think maybe it’s time to start teaching the li’l tyke that while it’s still OK to go in public, he’s got to start choosing his targets slightly more discriminatingly…)

Exactly. And if I had been in the cafe and actually gotten peed on, I wouldn’t have made a big deal out of it but I would have been pretty annoyed. But then, I don’t have kids, so there you go.