You Betcha.
GoodBye Earl!
And there might be one or two other circumstances where it’s called for.
A.R. Cane had some good examples. If you want more, ask; I’m short on time right now.
Depends on the friend, depends on the body. Like a dead Gestapo agent, or a serial-child molester-murderer who got paroled because of some hideous legal technicality? I might well consider it. The friend got drunk and ran over a little kid? Ah, no.
See, here’s the thing: if they already have the body, and they’re just now calling me for help, it’s a pretty good sign they’ve already fucked up. Getting involved now is just asking to be caught. Sorry, but you should have called me before you iced somebody.
I’d agree with the first case, but not the second. Since I’m against the death penalty even when sanctioned by the State, I’d find it hard to justify a “revenge killing” for a rape. However, if she were in clear mortal danger from the released rapist, and the only way to protect her was to ice the guy, then I would consider taking an active role to prevent her imminent death. But, to become party to her revenge killing? No way. It’s murder, and I’d like to think that I would report it as such.
I might for a brother or sister, a father, mother or lover.
But a “friend”…might decide that a shallow grave can fit two.
And he/she can always make a new friend, after they “lose” one.
I’ll pass.
No, since I’m not the kind of person who needs help hiding corpses. The few times I’ve had “friends” who were that kind, I’ve done my best to explain that the only corpses I find acceptable are the ones you cook - and please, no “fried green tomato specials”!
There’s one friend and one relative I’d do it for, but the circumstances would be extremely limited, and along the lines of A. R. Cane’s examples.
I have at least one friend who I would happily help hide his wife’s body…
No, I guess I can’t honestly say I would help hide a body. Or help do other illegal stuff.
The key is to make friends who would not ask you to do these things in the first place. But, for a couple of friends I probably would if they needed me to. The fact that I can’t see how they could need me to is the reason they’re that type of firends.
[Fictional Account]
A close friend of mine had a (High School) Graduation Party at his house on the last day of final exams. There were about 25 to 50 of us at the party, drinking beer, and generally carrying on. At the end of the afternoon, Aaron announced that his mom would be home from work at 5:30, and that the house had got to be cleaned, and the party moved elsewhere. It was discovered, shortly thereafter, that a certain local junky had overdosed on heroin at some point during the party, and was sitting, dead, with a needle in his arm and leaning against a tree. Until then, we’d all assumed he was passed out, but since he was a couple years older than us, a known junkie, and wasn’t bothering anyone, we all had ignored and forgotten him. Anyways.
We told Aaron: “Johnny’s dead. He OD’ed.” Aaron says “My mom’s gonna be home in half an hour! Get him the FUCK OUTTA HERE!”.
And so, with all the ceremony of tidying up lawn waste, Johnny was rolled up in a large piece of burlap, placed in the trunk of a car, and transported to the woods behind our high school. An anonymous tip was then called in from a nearby payphone, letting the local police know where to collect him.
[/Fictional Account]
Of course, being a law-abiding citizen I would never have participated in this, or even stood by watching as it happened. And, of course, if it did actually happen, I’d never admit to it on a public message board, even if it was 18 years later.
I would bury the body if it would help my husband, son, sister, brother and three friends, maybe four. I’d also give the culprit an alibi if required.
I helped a complete stranger move a body once:
A few years ago, there was a huge snow storm. The whole Denver metro area was bogged down with heavy wet snow (kinda like what we had last week 
). I was walking - well, slogging - home from from work when a lady run up to me. “I need help with my father!” she gasped.
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s dead.”
“Holy shit! You need to call 911, right now!”
Turns out that she was having a wake (or a viewing?) at her father’s house. The casket (with the body) needed to go back to the funeral home. Someone slipped and dropped the casket and they needed help lifting it.
If it was one of those movie scenarios where the cops have all turned bad and are all out to get my friend, I think I’d help. Otherwise, probably not.
No. Though I would help them get a good lawyer.
Nope. I watch too much CSI and Law & Order (and Columbo for that matter) to think I wouldn’t get caught.
This is what keeps me from killing people, myself. Keeps me from getting messed up in all the murder that goes on around here, too.
I love my best friend but he sure as shit doesn’t come before my kid. And being an accessory to a crime threatens my kid.
Same here.
This question makes good party talk but in the real world you don’t need anyone to help you hide a body. If you think bout it, all you are really asking for is emotional support in a situation where you can never truly have it. You are creating a witness and no matter who it is, including a best friend or a brother, that is a bad thing. At best you are going to cause them emotional strain or they could snap and end up with both of you set up for life or him dead too and you on the run.
Most bodies just aren’t that large and, if you keep it to yourself, a temporary holding location and a cool head can buy lots of time. If you are a smaller person or the victim is large, you can still use leverage, pulleys, or even garden equipment. Don’t use saws and chippers for fucks sake. It sounds good emotionally but the mess can never be cleaned up.
It sounds boring but a big tarp from Home Depot and some other rather mundane equipment plus a car truck and a tank of gas and a map are all you need. Don’t speed and don’t act suspicious. Always remember, bodies change when they are decaying. A skinny 130 lb man may seem just fine to dump in some water but he will become a beach raft in a couple of days. Likewise, many animals are expert scavengers and will dig through your shallow grave like a homeless man at a KFC dumpster.
Keep telling yourself that they only show the people on TV that get caught. You won’t as long as you keep a cool head. Even though you shouldn’t get people to hep you move bodies, a thread like this is a good central registry just in case.
Help them hide a body? NEVER!
Why should I? I’ve got a perfectly good wood chipper.