Shagnasty makes some excellent points. The better question might be, “Should you ask a friend to help you hide a body?”, and the answer is probably “No”.
As I related in an earlier thread, my Father is supposed to have killed a guy in the early 40’s. Short version, the guy tried to rob him, they fought and Dad left the guy that he thought was unconcious, only to find out later that the guy was dead. Several years later he told my Mother and over a decade later, she told me. It might have been better if he hadn’t told anyone, but, human nature being what it is, that’s pretty hard to do. I fairly certain that Mom never told anyone but me, not even my sibs., and my previous mention was the first time I’ve acknowledged it publically. I figure after 65+ years w/ Dad and Mom both dead, it doesn’t really matter anymore.
So if you ever find yourslf in such an unfortunate situation, best to take care of things yourself and keep your mouth shut. Doesn’t work for everybody, but it’s much smarter than inviting a witness.
I would happily help one friend hide her boyfriend’s body. In fact our whole group has promised her that we will be there at any time should she finally decide to let the skillet fall on his pointed little head.
Depends upon the body. I can think of a few people that if they wound up dead, I’d be more than happy to help hide their bodies. Remember, all that sexy CSI stuff costs money, so the police aren’t going to be inclined to use it on a whim. If you don’t do anything stupid, like say, hiding the body in a freezer that you keep in a storage unit you’ve rented in your name, then the odds of you not getting caught increase.
Yeah but when the policewoman comes up and finds you there with someones legs sticking out out of your wood chipper what are you going to say?
Yes, if I was convinced it was the right thing to do, like in “Fried Green Tomatoes”.
But no, if it wasn’t that clear.
Move a body as in the COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL STORY listed above, maybe; hide a body, no. Aside from the legalities, it doesn’t fit my beliefs about the dignities human remains are entitled to, and I would be profoundly bothered by thoughts of “the body’s” mother and other loved ones, never knowing what happened to him or her.
Hmmm, interesting question. Lovely answers.
Considering my brothers and my four closest friends, if any of them called me and said they needed help hiding a body, I would know:
- this person needed killing.
- there were some damn good circumstantial reasons that prevent going to the law
- if they’re calling me for help, something’s already gone wrong (aside from ending a human life)
I can only think of a specific line from the movie Body Heat: “There’s sixty ways to fuck up a crime, and if you can think of thirty of them, you’re a fucking genius. And mister, you ain’t no fucking genius.”
It makes a great story, but in real life, I would do my very best to talk them into going to the cops.
No, especially if I’m the body.
Seriously, I would still have to say no, in general. A murdering friend is a scary friend, one likely to kill me if I look like I’m about to fink. Better to get the finking done right away so that the police can put him in jail as fast as possible and I don’t have to look over my shoulder every five minutes. And if the death is accidental, then the safest move is to go to the police right away. I might help a friend twist the truth about the circumstances of the death, especially if my own ass is on the line. For instance, if the body is an OD victim and I or my friend was the one who brought the stuff to the party, I might lie and say I didn’t know whose stuff it was. But I would only lie if there was no chance of the truth being found out. Yeah, I guess that means I have weak moral fiber, but at least I’m not touching a body! I would be there for my friend emotionally if I felt like they were blameless (or even if they were partially at fault), but I wouldn’t help them dispose of the actual evidence. Not under most circumstances.
There are two extreme circumstances that I can conceive of where I would help hide a body:1) if I felt that going directly to the police or letting the police find the body would endanger the lives of innocents and 2)if I felt like the justice system was so evil that the friend was guaranteed not to get a fair shake. For the first, I’m thinking of a situation where a friend kills a gangster in such a way that’s easily traceable to him by the police, and the gang’s retribution would be attacks against his family once the news came out. That the victim in this kind of circumstance would almost always have to be a bad guy makes it easier to justify. For the second circumstance, I’m thinking of an oppressive society where a woman killing her husband, accidentally or otherwise, would automatically earn her a trip to the gallows. I would help a friend caught in this situation, even if I knew I might be sentenced to death if my role was found out (or least, I’m hoping I would).
That sounds like a suspiciously “fattist” question to me ! Would you ask a friend to help hide YOUR body Mr. Skinny?
“Most determined case of suicide I’ve ever seen, but at least he didn’t go feet first.”
Depends on the body and the buddy. 
On who’s asking, I’m finding myself fairly certain of the outcome: For one friend, I’d tell him to call the cops and it’d be fine. My brother, tell him he’s an idiot, call the cops and it’ll probably be ok. My other friend, I’d be certain there was damn good reason for things ending up that way, do I need any tools?
I’d help my dad, but he’d either call me so I didn’t find out about it from the papers the next day when he turned himself in, or he’d have it all under control and he might tell me 10 years later if ever.
A hole in the ground, a piece of poly, and a few bags of lime. All, except the hole, available at any construction/home store. Or take up bear hunting and use the cut up body as bait.
I may be inclined to help under extenuating circumstances, but those circumstances are limited.