I don’t know what we’d do in a time or war or conflict. I know what we did 16 years ago when a homeless family showed up at our door at 10:00 at night. They’d been given our name as someone to contact in town after they got moved in for guidance on finding day care, where to shop and other types of “settling in” information. But then the expected job fell through, and the house they had rented was locked up, and they’d been driving all day, and they knew no one and had no money for a motel and 6 kids (18 months to 8 years old) and a dog and all their worldy good behind them in a U-Haul, and they were at the end of their rope. So they found us and reached out for help.
What could we do? What would “anyone” do?
We invited them in, made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, set up cots and mattresses. And they lived with us and our 3 kids for six months in a three bed-room house while they struggled with finding jobs, getting public assistance, and mental health issues.
Was it the right thing to do: Yes
Did we think about it and make a rational decision: Absolutely not. It was an impulsive outpouring of compassion, and we were in it before we really thought about what we were doing. I suppose rather like someone who jumps in icy water to save a drowning person–you just act and sometimes it works out and sometimes you die too. We never asked “How will this impact our children? How will we handle the costs? What will the neighbors think?” Heck, we didn’t even ask “What would Jesus (or Cecil) do?” We just did what came naturally at the time.
Was it one of the most difficult, marriage-straining, life disturbing, conflict-filled, frustrating, expensive times we’ve ever gone through: Yes
Do we still sometimes experience stress and fallout from it a decade and a half later: Yes
Were the results worth it: Yes. Yes. Yes. A synopsis: the father deserted the family, the mother spent years in mental health care, a friend of ours who had always wanted a large family adopted all six children (who are now grown up and functioning). The mother improved sufficiently and married another friend of ours.
Would we do it again: Yes, but without the rose-colored glasses.
What if there was physical risk to us (rather than just the emotional stress which was real enough): I honestly do not know. What I do know is that I probably wouldn’t give it a lot of rational thought, I’d just stumble into the situation and do the best I could.