I would not help. I would respect her right as a strong independent woman to express her independence and let her handle her own problems as she saw fit and not mansplain to her how she should handle the situation.
Why can’t I just show up to the vet’s office with a stack of hundred dollar bills and pay the vet in advance? She won’t accept my help? It would degrade her somehow? Then why am I friends with this crazy woman in the first place?
I hereby fight the hypothetical. I’m not gonna push the fat guy in front of the train.
If my friend is a loony I’ll sit her down and explain that she’s fucking crazy and that she can either accept the money (if she wants to pay me back sometime, fine), or she’s mentally ill and I can’t be her friend any more unless she seeks treatment. And the first treatment she needs to accept is learning to accept help when her brain is malfunctioning, which it is in this case.
Either that, or go to the pound and find a dog that looks exactly like Duke, and switch dogs in the middle of the night, and quietly send Duke to a farm in the countryside.
Saying that you’d pay the vet’s billyourself is not fighiing the hypthetical. The thread question is baically what you’d do to help her and whether it’s you’d try to pre-empt her choices.
But replacng Duke with a dog from the pound is probably fighting the hypo. No dog owner who loves her pet so would be fooled or osider a doppleganger an acceptable substitute.
So you’re saying she might notice if I replace her beloved dog with a near lookalike?
I’ll concede your superior knowledge of bondage industry pay rates. But Emma isn’t being asked to perform for Kink.com, where the beatings are just for show and Prncess Donna takes care that the models have fun and don’t bleed. She’s being asked to allow herself to be actually tortured on film, and part of hte point is that she is someone who DOESN’T get off on it.
Ok well, that’s the first time you mention blood. Just FYI but whippings on whipping sites are not “for show” and the models are not there because they get off on it. Getting whipped like an escaped slave of the plantation is something completely different, very dangerous and probably highly illegal and not at all what your OP described.
The technique is not to replace Duke with another dog, but to convince her to take in another dog to help her out and be a friend for Duke as he recovers, and then she falls in love with the new dog (Dauphin?). If necessary I’ll adopt a Rot and then ask her to help me take care of it. The switch can be done right.
I think there is a great deal of overlap between “immoral” and “unhealthy” especially in this case.
It’s still BDSM - it is just that much closer to non-consensual.
Regards,
Shodan
PS - I know you are not religious, so best wishes for your health and more hypotheticals for many years to come. For whatever value of “best wishes” works out best.
In my view, I have a moral and ethical duty to stop her. Yes, she has a right to make her own decisions, but she’s clearly under distress. Further, based on her traumatic past, what happens if this triggers PTSD or whatnot? And beyond the immediate emotional and physical damage, how might getting involved in that potentially affect her in the future. Might it prevent her from getting a job she wants, damage a relationship, result in some obsessed stalker… who knows? And, frankly, if she really is a dear friend, then I would do what I could to stop her, even if it did mean she’d hate me afterward.
I’d start by trying to help her rationalize and understand the situation. Yes, maybe the poison is treatable, but what is the real prognosis? What other sorts of options does she have. Since it’s theoretically 2004, you can’t do a gofundme, but I imagine there’s still charities, perhaps a local animal related charity. If she has insurance to cover the lost property, maybe that will help cover the vet bill. Maybe she can take out a loan or work out a payment plan with the vet.
Other than that, the only way I wouldn’t do everything in my power to stop her would be if she could convince me it really was a reasoned action, not one made with emotional distress. However, considering that she had the info for a time and only considered it when she’s desparate, she’d have to do a lot to convince me.
No, my plan was to slip her a replacement dog, and think she probably wouldn’t notice.
Ok. Just making a suggestion here, possibly consider, no need to make a commitment, but just consider, some modifications to your plan.
You seem to be moving the goal posts significantly - at first there’s nothing that even warrants a doctor visit, but now you seem to be saying that they’re going to cause some kind of significant injury beyond bruises, light abrasions, or maybe controlled cutting. Actually whipping to the point of significant bleeding is enough to warrant at least a doctor’s visit, and probably requires some stitches and antibiotics to heal safely from. There’s also more safety issues, especially noteworthy is that any leather implements would need to be used just for her to avoid cross-contamination.
If it’s like the initial description, then I’ll help drive her there and keep an eye on things. I’ll coach her in exaggerating her responses too, since the majority of porn site reactions are fake anyway. If it’s like the latter description, then I’ll point out the significant danger and won’t help because there’s too much risk of permanent injury and I don’t want to be mixed up in whatever mess happens.
“You were a grown woman making a decision about what to do with your own body.” I wouldn’t want to stay close friends with someone who tries to make me responsible for decisions that they later regret. And any instance of “I asked you to do this and you did just what I asked, you’re terrible” is giant flashing neon red flag for me - people who try to make you the villain for doing what they said they want are not healthy to be around.
No, it’s WORSE than BDSM if she’s not a masochist. Someone who does not enjoy being beaten will, by defintion, have a worse time and be morelikely to be traumatized than someone who likes it.
When I was young, my mother once punished me and rewarded my little sister at the same time by making me take her to a football game which she, Mother, did not have time to take Lil Sis to herself. SI hated footbal; having to sit through a gme was as good as grounding me for a week.
Pantastic, you can inflict a great deal of pain on someone without breaking bones or doing anything that requires a doctor. But it’ll still be trauamatic.
:eek:
That wouldn’t work even on a 12-year-old. If nothing else, the new dog is not going to respond to the name “Duke” without training. And while you might find a dog visually similar enough to Duke to fool a casual and uncaring observer who doesn’t like dogs in the first place, you won’t find one that would fool someone who thinks of Duke as her beloved child.
My gut answer is, tell her to stay away - sure, they “claim” to pay, what, up to $5000 per video, but once it’s done, they’ll probably come up with excuses, assuming she’s lucky enough not to be sent to a “location shoot” where she ends up being trafficked. Why would the watchers care what her real name is - my first thought was, “You’ll do everything we say or we reveal this video to your family, friends, and boss.”
It’s a regular paying job that plenty of non masochistic models do every day. The only two options are not “fake” and “draw blood”, the whippings or spankings or beatings can be absolutely real and still not cause any physical damage. I am still not sure what we are talking about here, you are either describing a run of the mill modeling gig at a huge pay rate or something that would be completely illegal and highly dangerous and has no chance of happening.
I was addressing Shodan’s assertion that BDSM is immoral and that a BDS scenario is morally worse. To recap: I don’t think BDSM is categorically immoral as he appears to, but I do think it is more likely to be unhealthy than not, and that it has the potentia to be immoral. BDS – doing stuff to someone who does not enjoy it – is worse. If the claims made on the Skeevy Fellow’s web site are the truth, what he is doing is BDS. He’s exploiting persons who are both financially desperate and repulsed by what he is asking them to do. He couldn’t get what he wants from someone like Princes Donna of Kink, both because she’s not desperate enough to allow herself to be used in that day, and because some degree of domination and physical abuse is what she likes.
Again, your description of the ‘job’ seems to keep shifting. You first described it as some kind of “whipping” that wouldn’t require a trip to a doctor and involved a safe word so she could stop if it got to be too much. And that her discomfort was a major part of what they were selling, so she could clearly get away with doing a lot more screaming and fighting than hurting. Now it’s morphed to some unspecified mysterious torture that apparently is going to be so traumatic there’s no way anyone could just power through it for the money, and that she wouldn’t just safeword out of, but also films well and hasn’t gotten the guy arrested already. (And apparently it isn’t whipping past the point where she bleeds, even though you specifically mentioned that in one post).
Working a factory job where you don’t get bathroom breaks and have to wear depends to make it through a shift is pretty traumatic, but it’s an actual thing that people deal with for much less money than your scenario. Is it worse than having the anesthetic wear off during a filling and telling the doctor to just go ahead and finish the damn job instead of getting another shot and waiting for it to take effect? Because I’ve done that for no money, I was just tired of the damn procedure. I think you’re wildly overestimating the ‘trauma’ effects of doing something unpleasant for a lot of money, and you’re contorting your scenario into something almost magical to make it force the answer you want.
Largely my point. Sadistic voyeurs would have a reason to want her real name used, though; it would make it worse for her.
When you say your gut answer is to stay away, do you mean that you will try very hard to persuade Emma not to do this, or that you will not accompany her to the shoot if she decides to do it because you don’t want to be there?
I’m sorry but I think you just have a very basic misunderstanding of what you are describing. You just can’t portray a regular job that plenty of men and women do voluntarily for money, not pleasure, as some horrible degrading experience that only truly desperate people would subject themselves to.