Huh. Well, that’s a problem, since Duke is already at that “special farm”, and I’ve got this rescue Rottweiler I picked up at the shelter gnawing his way through the back seat of my car.
I’m not really surprised, since he thinks BDSM is “unhealthy more often than not” when all of the reasonably modern studies on the subject that I’m aware of say that’s absolutely not the case, and some studies show BDSM practitioners as being more healthy than the general population. Starting off from an ill-informed, prejudiced opinion on stuff that people do for fun is leading to an even more skewed view of stuff that sex workers do for money.
Gimme some cites and I may change my mind (depending on whether I can read them; a lot of sites’ formatting make that hard for me, so I can’t promise to peruse each with the attentiveness I would like). My opibion is based on my own experiences and past, but data trumps anecdotes. (As long as the methodology is proper.)
No, it’s consensual. She agreed. You don’t actually think most prostitutes, porn stars, factory workers, and cube dwellers actually WANT to perform their jobs? Most jobs are degrading in many ways. I’d happily sign up to wear a mask and be humiliated only once a month or so for a lot of money vs daily degradation for not much money.
I also don’t get the dog hatred. For many people, their relationship with their dog is more intense and personal than their relationship with any human-you spend every waking moment with a good dog for 10+ years and try to compare that any other relationship? Dog beats out men, friends, and probably children every time in terms of quality of relationship. I’ve spent over 10K on a dog’s health and would do it again, and no, the idea that you can “replace” a dog is ludicrous. Of course you have to accept that you’ll outlive the dog and have to ease its passing at some point which is where this analogy fails. The dog isn’t going to make it.
I don’t think anybody’s said “I hate dogs” but me, and I understand Emma’s feeling that her dog is her baby. I could never share that belief, but I’ll happily grant that it’s valid to her and should be respected by her friends.
On other issues, there are levels of consent. I don’t believe in governmental intrusion except when force or extreme coercion is used, but there is such a thing as being coerced by circumstances. There’s guys (and probably girls too, but I don’t know any personally) who get off on sleeping with partners who neither like nor are attracted to them. More pertinent to the thread: there are sadists who prefer victims to masochists – who want someone who at the very least is being driven by circumstance to do something they fear and dislike. That’s a step back from wanting someone who utterly does not consent, whose calls for help are not for play, but it’s not nice either.
Huh? People are not that dense. :dubious:
Yes they are.
This seems to be your primary point. Yes, but unless someone is pointing a gun at your head you can walk away. Lots of people are “coerced by circumstances” into doing things they don’t want to on a daily basis. I worked in a cube farm briefly and if you thought anyone there wasn’t “coerced by circumstances” aka they didn’t want to starve to death, you were delusional. That applies to most workplaces.
Or perhaps you just object to the deed, namely pretending to be humiliated and whipped on camera? They don’t do that for real, it’s all fake.
Probably best not to express such condescension to your friends.
A couple of years ago I and my cousin rescued abandoned dog and eventually gave it to my sister. I think I called it the Annoying Yappy Beast here. Anyway, it died after a while, and my sister acquired another dog of a similar breed later. I don’t even LIKE dogs, and I can tell the difference
Nobody who loves her dog is going to be fooled in the way you suggest. That shit only works with goldfish.
I’ve mostly been playing devil’s advocate; I haven’t expressed my opinion on what I’d do if I were Emma’s friend.
But I will now. I wouldn’t care what the Skeevy Fellow did to other people, but I would worry about the impact on someone I loved. So as Emma’s friend I would try to dissuade her; if I had the money to help I would lend her some. But if susasion failed and I could not help her financially, I would go with her to the shoot, because though I wouldn’t want to watch it, I wouldn’t trust the Skeevy Fellow and would lprefer the discomfort of having to be there to worrying what was happening.
Ever owned a dog?
My thinking is that the actual physical discomfort part of it is likely immaterial- there’s bound to be a safe word, she knows what she’s getting into, and they’re not going to seriously harm her.
My concern for her would be more about what this might do for future employment / dating situations. I mean, being a popular porn star is the kind of thing that can be hard to escape, especially in this day and age. In 1980, someone could do a couple of movies, then retire and move somewhere else, and live your life, without too much worry that your neighbors would ever find out, or that if the one guy stroking it to the Betamax did, he probably wouldn’t out you for fear of being outed himself. But nowadays, it’s trivially easy to find that stuff out, and stuff sticks around forever to haunt you.
That would be my main concern. I think it’s somewhat mitigated in that fetish type stuff is still pretty low circulation and a niche product, even within the larger “porn” category. So there’s still a good chance that she could do the scene, get her dog fixed, and nobody’d be the wiser.
Nope. Not in the habit of seeing my friends get hurt by evil men* and not doing something about it.
Talk sense into her, and if that doesn’t work, wait to offer support when it all inevitably goes to shit.
Dogs are not people. I love dogs, but they are not. $100 is about the limit of what I’d pay to save one as damaged as Duke (who will likely just be dead next year, anyway, or else require ongoing treatment. Organ damage isn’t something you can just magic away)
Emma is wrong. She clearly needs therapy, not more trauma.
- I am not anti-porn, far from it, but the specific porn outlined in the OP is not acceptable to me - it is exploitation of the economically disadvantaged.
Does your answer change if Emma needs the money for the sake of a human, or to avoid being evicted herself?
I myself despise them; the most I would do to save a dog’s life swerve to avoid on on the road. But if Emma were a good friend I would give her money if I could, out of love for her rather than the dog. And if she really felt compelled to do the shoot I would go with her, if only because keeping her safe that way is less work than tracking down the skeev and beating him with my walking stick for broaching the agreement.
Do you think BDSM porn is unique in exploiting the poor? If so, why?
There’s no right answer. Everyone grieves in their own way.
…
Per the hypothetical - My own little dog is only alive today because my mom (God bless her) stepped up for his bill a few weeks ago. Every dog owner has to accept that one day, one day soon - there won’t ever be enough money.
I would talk with Emma and the vet about taking out a payment plan. Most vets have something of that sort. If Emma is employed and hardworking, it might be possible.
But if not, I would talk with Emma about how love doesn’t stop just because of Death. Duke loves her and she loves Duke. She will still love Duke after he dies, just like she loves him while she’s at work and not in the same room as him. He is a dog and he will always love his Emma.
If Emma needed to let Duke go, I would help her through that. I would discourage her from a futile attempt to delay the inevitable.
I respect her right to make her own decisions, but I wouldn’t participate in the degradation. (The details of which aren’t important. It’s enough to say that whatever it is, it’s something that Emma would find it degrading and frightening.) I would tell Emma that she didn’t deserve the degradation of her childhood and that deserves better now. I would emphasize how Duke would be unhappy to know that she was hurt and upset now.
I don’t think I’d be doing right by Emma if I encouraged her to accept more degradation on the grounds that she’d already been degraded as a child.
Somebody else suggested bringing up Duke’s reaction, and I scoffed at it. But as you phrase it, I think it’s a good tactic for stopping her. The dog wouldn’t understand hte humiliation, but it would understand the beating, and at a minimum would be highly agitated by it and probably would be enraged into violence if it watched it happening and try to protect her, even at risk of its life. In that sense I think one can honestly say that Duke would not want Emma to do this and that she ought to take its feelings into consideration.
Porn, by and large, does not exploit the poor. That would lead to too many former performers coming forward to say, “I was exploited.”
Playboy Magazine was definite in having a “means test” for their models. No one was permitted to pose for Playboy if they were so poor that it could appear they “had to” to make the rent. Again, Playboy didn’t want anyone to make that claim, later. “I was so poor, I was forced to pose nude for Playboy.” The kind of publicity they did not want.
I am having issues understanding why consensual BDSM is wrong … I have a friend who happens to enjoy the kick of pain, he says it helps him focus better on the pleasure aspect [don’t look at me, that is what he says. Me? I dislike pain in any form and actively avoid it.] However, if mrAru came to me and asked to have me use a flogger on him, I would certainly do it for him.
I really don’t see much difference in using a fillip of pain to get off and using something like fur massage to boost sensation on the skin. [FWIW, I have had a fur massage and it is quite wonderful.] If both partners are in agreement, big whoop.
MrDibble made the claim that X exploits the poor. I was asking him to clarify. I wasn’t sure whether he meant porn in general, BDSM, or something else.
I’d loan her the money. But, if she wouldn’t accept it for whatever reason, I’d go with her to the tapings to make sure that everything was kosher and that she had someone to look after her afterwards. Just because someone has had things done to them in the past doesn’t mean that she’ll end up shrugging off a situation like that.