I’m not a mother, or even female, but I’d love to watch this happen. Yes, it would be weird, but it would be fantastic entertainment.
I would be wililng to bet $100 that Miss Manners did not say this, or would at the very least clarify it (It’s okay to call an older woman “Mother” if you know her well and you both agree to the use of the term). Otherwise, Miss Manners would never endorse it.
There are a couple of women I call “Mama,” or “Mom”, but they are my friends’ mothers who are exceptionally warm and generous to me (and everyone else). For this reason, I like the fact that I myself am becoming “Mama” to my group of friends - because it hints that I am likewise perceived as warm and generous and mothering, which makes me happy 'cause I like my friends.
It’s kind of a hippie thing to call zaftig older women “Mama” as in “Earth Mama”. It can go too far: the same people who call EVERY hippie woman over 30 “Mama”, are probably the same ones who call everyone under 30 “Brother” and “Sister”. A few can get away with it, the rest just seem really annoying and pretentious.
Outside my little hippified world? No way. It’s just weird.
I actually go a similar, but more familiar route myself, but only in certain circumstances. If I’m at, say, a kiddy park with my kiddies and I wish to pose a good-natured question to a nearby parent (it’s important to establish with high-probability that they are indeed the parent), I will begin my question, “excuse me Mom,…” or “excuse me, Dad”,…. I end the words “Mom” and “Dad” with a slight tonal upswing to impart a wiff of uncertainty, and then proceed with the question. From my experience, in this context, using “Dad” or “Mom” in lieu of “Sir” or “Ma’am” garners positive body language cues (e.g. relaxed habitus, pupil dilation, smiles) more quickly. Alternately, when addressed in similar fashion, I’m put at ease more quickly, as well. I’m all for proper decorum and respect in appropriate venues, but there are many circumstances when it should be OK to relax, assume an air a familiarity and extract the sticks from our bums.
Different because I was a child but didn’t anyone else ever accidentally call their teacher mom? :smack: Pretty embarassing.
A little off the OP, but I call my best friend’s mother “Mom”. It started out when my friend’s mother would drop by and he’d say, “Hi Mom” and I would chime in behind him, “Hi Mom”. It just stuck and remains that way today afer all these years…I’m her ‘little girl’, too.
But no, I don’t want anyone to call me “Mother”. I’m not a parent. Don’t call me
Ma’am" either - I’m not that old!
My DH calls his 82 year old mother “Mother” and his 85 year old father “Daddy”. Part of it is ‘old South’ custom, I think.
Eh, lots of kids do that. I used to work in a first-grade classroom, and on the first day of school the teacher would say that it was OK if you called her Mommy accidentally. Happens all the time.
Does to me too. Didn’t stop Rustle Crow from using it in that one movie. Though I think that a little kid calling someone one-san would be fine (and I’ll jokingly use aneki.)
I didn’t know that. Never occured to me that it would be different.
Considering that I’m male, yes I would mind if you called me mother. Aside from that, there are a few women that I feel comfortable calling mom, but I certainly wouldn’t say it to some random stranger just because she might have born children.
I own all of Miss Manner’s etiquette books, including both the first one and the revision of the first one. I’m just about certain that levdrakon is misremembering the cite.
I just checked the first book and found nothing similar except a letter from a pregnant woman who disliked being called “mama” or “big mama.” Miss Manners agreed with the letter-writer that the mama-callers were rude.
I went ahead and checked all her other ‘big’ books and came up with nothing specific. I also checked two of her shorter books (one about communication and one about ‘the right thing to say’). Nada.
The nearest cite I found about this subject is several references to the incorrectness of using ‘misguided friendliness,’ ‘unauthorized liberties’ or ‘inappropriate endearments’ when addressing others. Calling a person who isn’t your mother ‘mother’ is surely an infraction against any or all of these three.
If anyone addressed me as “Mother” I would presume that they were shortening a somewhat longer appellation and we might not reach harmonious rapport very quickly.
I frequently refer to my wife as mother, such as telling my son to go ask mother, meaning his mother. It can cause confusion when I refer to mother meaning my mother, his grandmother. Oh well, we work around it and get over it. But to call a stranger mother is asking to get your teeth kicked out. What is wrong with asking the lady in the park “Excuse me Maam(spelling?), could you tell me what time it is?” Why even get into this mother issue?
I don’t see a big deal of addressing a very old woman who is a stranger as “mother”. It implies a certain respect for her even though you don’t know her.
Chinese is somewhat like Japanese. You refer to an “auntie”. However, it is common to call someone Mama Surname (a Chinese example would be Chen Mama). This is usually a kid or young adult referring directly to a friends mother that they knew well.
I used and still use it if introduced to someone who is clearly a matriarch or dowager type, even if I do not know them.
Eh, only if she’s a nun. (has that been mentioned yet? Can a nun be called “mother” as a priest is called “father”?)
I work with Mama Rose, who isn’t old enough to be my mother and I’m not the oldest by far. I’ve even had a supervisor tell me last week to “Take Mama out.” She’s Mama Rose.
I just had my first child (Ok, 14 months ago, but it SEEMS like yesterday) and pretty much as soon as it was obvious I was pregnant, many people started calling me Mama. It rather surprised me as I didn’t feel like a Mama yet and wasn’t sure when that distinction became clear, my customers also wished me a happy Mothers Day when I was pregnant.
Then again, I live in a world where people don’t get pissed off when folks try to show respect. Ma’am? Sir? Mama? Maybe I have enough people calling me a stinking bitch and other less than savory names on a regular enough basis to not get offended on NICETIES.
I wouldn’t mind a bit. It wouldn’t make me feel old. I would see it as a sign of respect.
This world would be one hell of a lot better for women if MORE people would remember that treating any woman like crap is no different than treating your own mother/daughter/sister like crap. When my husband gets all WASPMy on me, I say things like “Just wait until babybeast comes home crying because she can’t do X because she’s a girl.” Cause I know damned good and well, he’d be the first one in line to let her do whatever she wanted to do.
A nun is usually called “sister”. The head of a religious order or of some of the monastic orders can be called “mother”. Mother Theresa, Mother Angelica, Mother Marianne spring immediately to mind.
Is this just calling the woman “Mother”, or is it “Mother+Surname”, as in “Mother Smith”? It’d sound weird, but is an older appelation right up there with “Goodwife”.
But I still prefer “Nanny”
The title does come down to us via religious titles but also nursery rhymes and tales: Mother Goose, Mother Hubbard, etc. But I’ve never seen it used recently in other than the religious sense.
I was just going to post this same thing, although I thought it was just to weed out women above a certain age. The tone of voice was so polite and creepy too.