No, this is not an anti-child rant. This is an anti-stupid-parents rant. I have a view of the front door from my desk.
To the fucker from upstairs - your child is standing at the door to the building screaming his little heart out. Aside from the fact that this is a PROFESSIONAL building and some of us are trying to work, do you realize how stupid it is to expect an eighteen-month-old child to be able to push open those heavy glass doors? Yes, I realize you have your all-so-precious newborn who is actually your flesh-and-blood, but there is no excuse for letting that little boy stand there and scream because he can’t get the door open and you’re walking away, pretending to go to your car. I could see the look on his face from my desk and those were not crocodile tears he was crying - those were real tears, and you are a goat-felching prick for scaring him like that. And when the women came running to see if that little boy was okay, you used the opportunity to walk back over and show your baby off to them. Never mind the kid you just terrified. And never mind that this is an office building where screaming children really aren’t welcome - especially not if it’s their parent (or sad excuse for a stepparent) that’s causing the screaming.
My boss used to think you were hot. The second she walked back in the door after she went out to make sure the child was okay, she told me that after seeing the way you treated that little boy, she doesn’t think you’re so hot anymore.
:mad: Does this…person work in your office? Do you know who he is? I might record what I’d just seen and date it, for possible future use. I’d keep a close eye on his interactions with the child. You might end up having to report him for child abuse/neglect.
If it were me in your position, he’d definitely be one I’d watch closely. If he has no problem treating the child so poorly in public, what does he do in private? 18 months old, and he’s pulling this shit? That just isn’t right. Poor kid. sends comforting vibes to the child
I am insane with rage at this man’s actions. If he tried to show off his cute, cuddly newborn to me after treating his older child in such a manner, I think I might well have said, “Yeah, nice baby. Try a stunt like that with your older son in my presence again, and you can expect to have the cops called on you for child abandonment.”
I know it’s probably an empty threat and the cops would probably laugh it off if I actually called it in, but I’d feel a strong need to say something to this prick.
He works upstairs - I think most people in my office know him in passing. My co-worker says I was overreacting, and he only walked away because the baby was sleeping and he didn’t want to wake him up, but they also didn’t see the poor kid for the time I saw him. And I got “You’re not a parent, you wouldn’t understand” from both co-workers, but I know enough about children to know when one is genuinely scared and when one is crying crocodile tears. This poor little guy was genuinely upset.
Ugh. If I see this again, I swear, I’m going out there and give him hell for it.
No! Don’t confront him directly because 1) you’d be putting yourself in danger, he might assault you and 2) you’d give him time to dream up a plausible explanation to his actions.
I’ve been in the parental role, helping with relative’s kids, and for a short time with my own babies. (Don’t want to talk about it. )What he did was WRONG, and he at the least needs to attend parenting classes to get a clue. Don’t let your co-workers poo poo your gut instincts in this.
WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU SAW! Do it now while it’s still fresh, keep a journal, and then consult someone in child protection if it keeps up. He should not be allowed to continue with this, if he is it will only escalate. (That’s assuming that this is his normal behavior, it might not be.)
As I asked earlier, if he treats the child this badly in public, what does he do in private? Someone needs to look out for that kid’s interests, so watch and see if there really is a pattern to this, or if it was an one time thing.
Are you serious? Do you really think the majority of people behave like life is a video game and assulting you is a likely outcome of “confronting” them?
From the discription in the OP, it hardly sounds like “abuse”.
This is the most over-reaction I’ve come across on these boards yet!
Settle down and get back on your medication…
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
Of course he was, poor kid. You can’t expect an 18-month-old to be able to push open a door, or to understand anything but that his daddy is walking away and he can’t get out. Grrr.
gatopescado :dubious: You don’t think a person could get assaulted for cursing out someone, as the OP implied they’d do, or as another poster said “bitch slapping” the person? What planet do you live on?
As for the medication “quip” why don’t you take those words and cram them up your ass!!! Jerk! :mad:
I AM on medication as a matter of fact, and going to counseling too.
Want to make any more bigoted asshatted comments, or would you rather be more stable, and just calmly state that you disagree with my POST, instead of attacking me? Whether or not you “contribute” to this board, that comment was out of line. :dubious: I am within my rights to fire a shot back across your bow. (Yes, it’s bigoted IMO to assume that a person you believe to be over reacting must “need medicine”.)
I feel that I made a calm reasonable statement, treating an 18 month old child like that in public does not bode well, and it implies that it’s more than possible that he treats the kid worse in private. Also, consider this, if he treats a CHILD that way, how will he react to an adult? Wouldn’t he be more likely to answer with violence? Possibly.
I was, in fact the only poster that did not advocate “extreme” measures, and urged the OP to take calmer measures, and to find out if it was a one time event, or a pattern. I think I was the least reactive person who posted to this thread, up until Jerk made his “suggestion” at least. Grrrr…
Zabali, I read your post and my reaction was holy fuck, what an idiotic overreaction. I sincerely doubt that a person would overreact in his own workplace to the extent of assaulting a co-worker. Get a grip.
The guy behaved badly. It doesn’t actually mean he’s about to go postal and attack his co-workers.
And I agree with wring – tell the little boy’s mother if you possibly can.
Really? You thought that advocating NOT directly interacting with the guy, that not showing any aggression at all was an overreaction? Why? The person obviously is not rational to begin with, or they would not treat an 18 month old child that way ever, but ESPECIALLY not in public. To me at least, it says the person isn’t necessarily “all there” to begin with. Add to the equation a direct confrontation, and you could have trouble.
I don’t think getting in the middle of this directly is a good idea AT ALL. Tattling to the spouse could lead to marital problems, which BOTH parties would blame on the “busybody”. It’s much more reasonable to keep an eye on the person, and report them than to get in the middle of it. Angry spouses can be viscious in their retaliation/avenging of their “injured spouse”.
Yeah, ok the marriage could already have troubles, and if the way he treats the stepchild is an indicator, it probably does. All the more reason not to insert yourself. Good way to get yourself in a whole lot of trouble.
Why not ask someone who works with the unreasonable public how “safe” it is to get in the middle of something that has the potential to get really ugly, like this does? How about it? What do the rest of you think?
Is it wise to get involved in a potentially troubled marriage by tattling to one spouse? Is it wise to go to a person’s spouse with unproven accusations that the person mistreats their child? Is it wise to verbally “give them hell” if you see the person alleged to have mistreated the child doing this again? Is is wise to “bitch slap” them for said offense?
I think everyone needs to take a good look at what they are advocating, and consider the “domino” effect they could set in motion BEFORE they advocate such things in future… :dubious:
Zabali, did the guy seem like an unstable sort? He could just be a foolish young man who honestly thought he was just playing “where’d daddy go”.
I agree that it was silly thing to do and that he needs to know that it’s not okay to just leave a tiny child like that alone, even for a few moments, even in plain sight.
You say he had the little boy and then an infant? How old is he? Young parents don’t always make the most informed decisions, but it’s not necessarily out of meanness but inexperience.
Unless he’s shown in other ways that he has a violent tendency, and if you and your office workers know him in passing, I don’t see any reason why a gentle intervention would be out of the question.
I wasn’t really serious when I said I’d go bitch-slap the guy. I mean, I’d want to, but I wouldn’t really go do it, and I wouldn’t recommend that anyone else really do it, either. Just a little hyperbole on my part.
First let me say CanvasShoes, I’m not the OP. I made some suggestions as to what the OP should do, if they truly believed that the person was behaving wrongly. Other posters advocated violence, and direct confrontation, and one attacked me instead of my post, saying I “overreacted”. Well, if what Avabeth says is true, I don’t think so. If what she says is true, and IF it’s a common thing, than the guy at the least needs counseling, he’s mistreating the child.
I agree that he might not be unstable, but why risk it? Imagine how outraged you would feel if someone came up to you (Especially if it was aggressively.) and accused you of being abusive to a child? Strong words, likely to bring a strong reaction from the person you are confronting.
This is why I advocated watching the person to see if it was a common behavior, or just a one time event, and to go from there as far as possibly reporting him. It’s not wise to make the accuastions of child abuse/neglect without something more than a one time observation. Not in person, not to the spouse, not to anyone.
Imagine how you would feel, if you were the wife of the person? Would you believe the accuser over your husband? Also, what if it was a one time event, and the tattling caused the breakup of the marriage? All this must be considered by Avabeth before she takes action, that is all I’m saying.
Zabali, have you ever taken an 18 mo and a newborn out in public? By yourself? Do you in fact know anything about what it can be like? Your pretentious posturings are all very amusing and all that but honestly you are coming across as a total idiot here.
TBH, my first reaction to the OP was I wondered if the guy is a perfectly adequate parent most of the time who hadn’t taken both kids out in public before and who was fucking clueless as to how to look after both kids at the same time. Doesn’t excuse him but it doesn’t make him a child abuser or it a troubled marriage.
Ok, ** MsWhatsit ** I apologize for taking your words at face value. I agree, I’d probably dream of slapping him too, but all I’d actually do would be watch him like a cat, and report him when/if I got more documented events.
Yes, as a matter of fact, Primaflora in this post alone I mentioned that I not only acted as a parent to relative’s kids, but that I’d had babies at one time. (They died, and it hurts too much to speak of, I nearly died of greif too.)
I do have a clue, and I am NOT being pretentious. I’ve been out in public with a moderately Autistic child, and a very intelligent, high maintaince child at the same time, ON MY OWN! Don’t lecture me, or assume I don’t know what I’m speaking of just because I don’t post about raising a family! :dubious: I know very well what being a parent entails, so don’t look down your nose at me, you who have your children close at hand. Just because my arms are empty, and I grieve does not mean I am an “idiot”. (One of my babies was school age when they died.) That’s an elitist attitude you displayed IMO.
Bolding mine. I did not say the marriage DID have troubles, I said that the way he treated the stepchild in public was indicative of possible friction, and it is. The quote is taken from the context that tattling to the spouse could cause marital friction, and it would.
If you look, in my first post I said words to the effect that the guy could just be clueless, and that maybe all he needed was parenting classes.
Please refer to my post directly above yours for an answer to the rest of what you say.
Also, I refer to my dead children as “babies” because I never got the chance to see them reach adulthood, and almost all of my memories of one are of them as a baby.
Poor kid. sends comforting vibes to the child