Would you prefer an all-purpose valentine, or a situationally specific one?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Either to buy or to give.

Looking for a valentine for Mr. Rilch has been very frustrating this year, as was last year. First of all, there don’t seem to be any Peanuts valentines, at least not here in LA. (He and I are both Peanuts fanatics.) No Ernest Shepard Winnie-the-Pooh valentines, either.

Beyond even that, though, it seems like every valentine is specific to the relationship between giver and recipient. You can’t get a valentine that just says, “I love you and you’re special, whoever you are.” It has to be “To my wife/To my husband/To my mom/dad/brother/sister/father/mother/great-grandma/second-cousin-once-removed.”

I don’t like this. I did eventually find a valentine with a very touching poem, that he liked a lot*, but it took a lonnnnnnnng session of perusing cards that were apparently created by people who have their own ideas about what a wife should say to her husband. Very few of which jived with the relationship he and I have. I liked the card he gave me, too, but he reported similar frustration: so many of the from-husband-to-wife cards took it for granted that kids were part of the equation! (Which we don’t have.)

I mean, I saw one (a comedic one, not romantic; I was starting to gag on all the mush) that would have been perfect for him…but it was supposed to be to a brother. If only they wouldn’t slap designations on these things!

Furthermore, what do you do if you want to give a valentine to a friend? Not a relative, not a lover, but a friend who is just as deserving of love as someone with whom you share either DNA or a bed? I’m not at all surprised that single people get so cranky this time of year.

And yes, the little voice in the back of my head is saying “Why don’t you make your own?” I think next year I will. But this year is this year, and this year, I wanted to give a valentine that had either Charlie Brown or Piglet saying “I love you and you’re special, whoever you are!”

So how do you all feel? Do you appreciate the fact that you can get a valentine that specifically says, “To my sister”? And how do you feel about getting one that says “From your son”? Or would you prefer not to have these relationships defined for you?

*We observed V-Day last night, since we’ll both be working tomorrow night. Anyway, the 14th is always what he calls “Amateur Night” for going out. Glad we didn’t have to brave that crowd.

2

I meant “Either to give or to receive.” But you knew that, right? :o

3

I noticed that! My first thought was that it’s a cynical ploy to sell more cards.

I very nearly asked an assistant “Excuse me. Do you have any cards that are, well, tasteful?” The nicest ones had messages of undying love on, which wasn’t what I wanted, and most of the rest were very very cheesy, or had bad jokes on :frowning:

4

I don’t really mind the relationship-specific ones, but I agree that it’s frustrating to see cards that I like, and then realize they’re “To the best second-cousin in the world!” I confess that I like buying the “to Grandma” and “For my godparents” cards because I have the feeling that my grandmother and my godparents like the special attention. My brother and I actually have a little fun thing going on where we try to top each other by finding the weirdest, mushiest, least age-appropriate “to brother” and “to sister” cards (for all holidays, not just Valentine’s Day). I sent him a great one this year, that said “You’re a big boy now, but you’ll always be my special little brother.” (We’re in our 30s, btw.)

I’ve sent specific relationship cards to other people, now that I think about it. For my uncle’s birthday a few years ago, I saw a “Happy Birthday, Dad!” card on it that had a photo of a horse that looked uncannily like the horse my uncle had when I was a little, little kid and inside I wrote “When I saw this card, I had to get it for you anyway because the horse reminded me so much of all the great memories I have of spending time with you when you would take us kids out on Duke.” I’m going on the theory that the personal thought that is so obviously based on my real, fond feelings for this person that it overrides the mis-matched printed greeting – I could be wrong on this, someone should let me know if that’s not the case.

I think I might be in the minority here, because I tend to ignore the printed greeting and write in my own sentiments as well. When I buy a card, I’m going mostly on the picture. I don’t care what the poem inside says, I’ll write my own personalized message under it no matter what it says. When people give me cards, I don’t usually read the printed message (unless it’s the punch line on a funny card), but I’ll skip straight to the handwritten stuff. The ones that have really long poems – I’ve skimmed them for the sake of form, if the giver is standing right there, but they seems so impersonal to me that I don’t have any real interest.

For Mr. Del, I usually get a funny Valentine’s Day card, and then write in the mushy stuff – best of both worlds!