If I had cancer and was going to lose my hair due to treatment, there is no way in hell I would want anyone else to shave their perfectly good head of hair, it just doesn’t make sense to me.
This would be my hang-up. I could see why a kid would feel better about looking “just like daddy/mommy” rather than being the only hairless member of the family, or even why a teenager would prefer to be one of several friends with shaved heads rather than a lone “freak”, but I’m having a much harder time seeing what an adult would get out of such a display of solidarity. I wouldn’t ask or expect anyone to shave their head for me.
That said, if asked I would consider doing it for my mother or for certain close friends. But the reality of my situation is that I’ve only been in my current town for a year and a half, I live 1,000 miles from my mother, 400 miles from my oldest friend, and at least 100 miles from any other long-term friends. Of all the people I’d consider near and dear enough to have the right to ask, none see me more than a few times a year. We wouldn’t be going around being bald together, so it would be an empty gesture on my part.
As long as the person who asked were close to me and I trusted their motives (if my sister asked such a thing, I’d have reason to suspect it was out of jealousy), the only hang up I’d have with regard to my actual hair is that I grow it out to donate. I’ve given to both Wigs for Kids and Locks of Love. I’ve been doing this for ten years, and am planning to make my fourth donation in a few months. If I could donate my hair at the same time I shaved my head then that would be no problem. But there’s a minimum length requirement for donations, so if my friend asked me to shave my head at a time when my hair was too short to donate then I’d probably tell her I was going to wait. If it were a really big deal to her I’d reconsider, but I would be rather disappointed in her for insisting that I cut my hair now to make her feel better instead of cutting it later to help provide a bald child with a nice wig. If she felt bad about being bald I’d hope she could recognize that it must be even worse for children.
Well, I actually prefer having a shaved head, so the question doesn’t so much apply to me. However, when my sister got married last summer, she wanted me to have regular hair, so I did. And it was a pain in the ass, and I shaved it all off again as soon as I could. I’d do it again, though. It was unfun, but not really all that bad, and I doubt she’ll get married again.
Seems kind of silly to me. I’d feel really weird if someone offered to shave his or her head because I had cancer, or just did it without asking.
One of my friends did cut her long hair very short so that a wig could be made for her mother who was undergoing chemo. I thought that was really sweet. I’d do something like that if I still had long hair (but I don’t, and won’t grow it out again), but otherwise I don’t really see the point.
Yeah, I do hear about it more often in terms of kids, simply because there’s that culture of immaturity with kids that they will pretty much make fun of you for anything, so having that kind of show of support would mean more. I am not a “kid person,” I don’t hang around kids, so if asked I would be rather confused as to why, since I would expect grown adults to have grown up at least enough to keep such snide comments to themselves, if they even think them.
In terms of kids, the only ones I know are nieces/nephews, and to be honest I still think it would mean more to them to show them pictures of me when I was bald from chemo. Someone can shave their head, but unless you’ve been through it you have no idea what chemo is like; so I think knowing that I can relate in that way would probably give them more comfort than just a show of baldness. If support is what they need, I can give it without giving up my hair, which at this point I feel like has been hard-earned.
No offense taken, I’m just saying I’ve never heard of anyone doing it. I can understand kids doing it to support a friend because kids are often cruel to anyone different, but I am an adult and I can’t imagine any of my friends, who are also adults, wanting us to shave our heads in solidarity.
If I had cancer, it would never occur to me. I think. It’s hard to say how I would feel if I were in a life-threatening situation.
I’ve cut off my long hair 4 times so I could send long ponytails to Locks of Love, so losing long hair would be no issue for me. Nor would my husband care if I shaved my head – in fact, he’d probably think it was the coolest thing ever.
So yes, if a family member or close friend would find it supportive to shave my head, I’d do it without second thought.
Like others have mentioned, I’ve heard of this happening in schools as a show of support for a classmate who has cancer. I think it’s cool.
As far as adults go… I’ve been bald many times and it looks perfectly fine. So if the person asked us to do it, sure. If not, probably not because I don’t know if it’s something they would rather not draw attention to…
Nicknames used to slightly protect the guilty.
This buddy of mine, we’ll call him ‘Luke’ got lymphoma around 1988. It took forever to diagnose, very difficult chemo / rads - nasty treatment.
He was about 30 at the time, and we were in grad school in Oceanography. A group of friends and colleagues decided to shave our heads if he lost his hair due to chemotherapy- We all worked in one or two laboratories, and thought it would make him stick out less, shaven heads being much less common on men at that time. One night I was over at his place watching football (OK, he was explaining football to me again.) and his hair started falling out, so I shaved his head on the balcony during halftime.
Next day, a couple of us (Attack, Dinosaur Boy* & Luke as I recall ) went to the barber and got shaved in solidarity - the halftime bic razor thing had been a lot more difficult than I had expected. As we left the barber’s, on the way to the bar, we ran into Marko, who had also offered to shave his head, should it be appropriate, but hadn’t seen Luke since the hair started to fall. Marko had thick, wavy, velvety Bill Clinton style hair, and when he saw me and Luke and Dinosaur Boy all with no hair, the look on his face was priceless. You could actually see him realize that he had promised (of his own free will) to shave his head, and that he really didn’t want to lose his major chick-magnet asset. He thrashed around a lot, but eventually did not shave his head. Luke didn’t really care one way or the other, and no more was said about it.
Fast forward about a year.
Marko has to go to the Antarctic as part of his research. He winds up going on research vessel which takes him to the station where he is to stay, a ship which resupplies the station itself, drops off and picks up scientists., and then tootles around in the Southern Ocean doing science. ‘Bo’, another friend of Luke’s, is also going to be going along on the ship, but he’s to stay on the ship after the station. When the ship docks there is a big party, because it’s a hail-and-farewell kind of situation, where long time station people are leaving, new ones are coming, and the ship people are stopping by. Bo proceeds to get Marko extremely drunk, mostly by drinking with him, but also by telling other folk to have a drink with Marko. Marko, being a sociable guy, gets very, very drunk. Bo half walks, half carries him to his bunk at the station and hip tosses him into bed. No doubt Marko tells him what a great guy he is.
Next morning Bo is long gone. Marko gets up with an Olympian hangover, looks in the mirror and sees that his head has been very drunkenly shaved, with little stubs and patches of thick missed hair bits poking out, and the word LUKE written across his forehead (drunkenly, and backwards for the mirror.)
- reputed to leave dinosaur-like tracks when he walks on the beach naked: two feetprints and something dragging in the sand
No. I have quite a few moles on my head and I think I’d look like a dalmatian if I were shaved.
I would hope that I had a good head shape if I was bald. Not everyone can have Michael Jordan’s skull… Like my brother- ex-Ranger and Special Forces- he shaves his head quite a bit (so much easier in jungles and deserts- even 1/4 in of hair can be gross) and he does NOT have a cool bald look. But what can you do?
My instant answer is no, but I suppose it would depend on who asks and why they ask.
But probably no.
No. For me it’s been there done that. My hair is finally growing back from the continuous chemo treatments I’ve been having. And, I did not expect anybody to shave their head for me.
No, I would not. I had cancer, I had chemo, I lost all my hair, all of it, eyebrows, lashes, and everywhere else. Hell, half my fingernails and toenails were gone at the end of it all. I didn’t mind being bald, because I was still alive to be bald. But if anyone in my family, or if a friend, had offered to shave their head “in solidarity”? My reaction would have been: Why? Would they shave their pits and arms and legs and pubic hair, too? What I wanted from my family and friends was just, you know, love and good wishes and practical help if I needed it. The odd casserole tossed into my fridge from a hairy friend was awfully welcome. Taking the boys for a weekend? Hairy angel, in my books.
I know two young boys, they were 11 at the time, who grew their hair really long and then had it cut off and donated to Lovelocks, the people who make wigs for cancer patients. That was a different matter, entirely, and the boys didn’t shave their heads when they lost their hair, they just had regular short haircuts.