Would you socialize with an anti-vaxxer that you kind of have to socialize with?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My husband’s boss/owner of the company is an anti-vaxxer. He also has four children, one of them being about four months old*. There are going to come times when he will expect both my husband and me to socialize with him (like a Christmas party, for example**). I don’t want to socialize with him even for a second - I find anti-vaxxers so socially irresponsible and selfish that I don’t want to have anything to do with them.

I also realize that you can’t pick your bosses or your spouse’s bosses, and there are social expectations that come along with working for a living. Would you just hold your nose and be sociable for the bare minimum required, or would you take a stand on something that you feel strongly about?

*The newborn is apparently very sick right now. We live in an area that has horrifically high non-vaccination rates - I hope very much that the baby doesn’t have measles or whooping cough.

**We are expected to go to the late and much-put-off Christmas dinner this weekend.

2

It would be pretty selfish and socially irresponsible for you to “take a stand” against your husband’s boss. If you can’t bring yourself to be pleasant and polite, by all means do not be present, but “I’m sorry, my wife didn’t feel up to coming” is all that should be said.

3

Just because some anti-vaxxers are irresponsible and selfish doesn’t mean that all of them are. Go and find a real reason not to go in the future

Or talk to your husband about your concerns and both of you can come up with something.

4

I’d suggest pushing politics out of mind and attending anyway, ignoring the anti-vaccination issue for a few hours. If he doesn’t bring up the issue, good.

5

This thread is why I have warned my anti-vaxxer friends to be careful whom they talk to about it.

6

Late and much-put-off Christmas dinner? No kidding.

The fact that someone doesn’t vaccinate is bothersome from a health standpoint, but if you can have a conversation with him about anything else, I’d personally let it slide. If he is the type to turn a discussion of the weather into a political discussion, then I wouldn’t want to be around him even if it were an opinion I agreed with.

7

No problem we don’t want anything to do with you either. Problem solved!

8

Hooo boy, are you ever in the wrong place.

9

Oh and why is that?

10

That’s good. If you keep them quarantined, it’s less likely for it to spread.

11

eh, just go to the dinner, exchange platitudes with the boss guy, and come home early. these sort of events aren’t purely social, but are job-related; worth going to, without a fuss.

12

Just have your husband tell them that you’ve got such a terrible racking cough, you don’t want to expose the family to what could potentially be a life-threatening illness.

13

Someone, somewhere, isn’t quite getting the picture or I’m missing the logic. Are you suggesting we stop the spread of the idea OVER stopping the spread of disease? :confused:

14

Hey listen, I frequently socialize with people who I couldn’t agree with one bit about politics.

I find that when my conversational counterpart wants to discuss something I know we will never agree on, you simply steer the conversation as quickly in another direction as possible.

You’re not required to agree with everything someone believes in, in order to be sociable and civil.

This happens to me frequently. I’m an atheist and I feel that superstition and organized political entities centered around the un-debate-able imaginings of people are both really bad for society. Yet most of the people around me feel faith is important.

I can either have zero friends, and annoy everyone at all times, and make them dislike atheists that much more than they already do, or I can find common ground, other things to talk about. You’d be surprised, most people don’t care if you’re an atheist as long as you don’t make it an argument that must be had every five minutes. And religious people are just the same as me, provided we’re not having a debate over the supernatural. Take away that one area of disagreement that can’t be bridged, and all of a sudden, we’re both people that can be talked to and socialized with.

I have to work with some folks who are much older than I am, who frequently use outdated racial references. I find it appalling. I don’t condone it. And whenever it comes up, I steer the conversation elsewhere, and I mention that I don’t like those words. They’re not going to change; they’re old and set in their ways. And I have to work with them. I can’t fire them, I don’t have that kind of authority.

And yeah, it’s really offensive to me. And I think it should be a big deal, and I wish I could pick that fight. It’s very important to me.

I think anti-vaxxers are just as socially irresponsible.

The thing is, if you take any group of 100 people, and weed out the anti-vaxxers, the Republicans, the libertarians, the religious folks, the pro-lifers, the pro-gun folks, the pro drug war folks, the folks who use politically incorrect language, and other groups you have beefs with, sooner or later, there’s going to be no one left in that group of 100.

No one.

Being holier than everyone else ignores ones’ own faults, and leaves out a large portion of humanity.

I’ll fight a good fight and debate anyone anywhere anytime. But there are such things as off hours, and work hours, and I don’t feel the need to be constantly at war with everything I find reprehensible about humanity.

Because I realize there’s nothing I can do, as one person, to change humanity, by arguing it down. I can’t argue everyone to my side.

All I can do is be a pro-vaxxer, pro choice, areligious liberal, and also be a decent human being, and hope that this is its own form of persuasion.

15

If it’s a company thing, there are likely to be plenty of other employees and spouses to socialize with, right? In that case it’ll probably be fairly easy to avoid boss-man in favor of socializing with more pleasant people. You can make an appearance but you don’t have to interact with him beyond hello and goodbye.

Plus your husband will probably appreciate the moral support, since he DOES have to deal with boss-man, and be pleasant about it, on the regular.

16

As a general rule, when it comes to employment I don’t do anything they don’t pay me for, unless I want to. This especially includes Christmas dinner, even in December, if it’s after working hours.

But, if it’s a company thing and you HAVE to go…well then I guess you have to go.

I don’t know, I always figured in a big enough company no one would miss me, and in a small company they already know I’m kind of a curmudgeon.

17

Maybe I should just explain that being anti-vax or not often comes up in my Facebook group of parents of children with autism. People post alot of articles discussing the dangers of vaccines.

Every now and then we get someone in the media wanting to come and interview such families. I always warn the other parents to NOT go on camera and discuss this. Why? Just these types of repercussions. People accusing them of being irresponsible parents and such and putting you and your kids out there for everyone will make you a big target. I dont want people to lose friends or even jobs over this.

I know this puts me into a bad spot here but my kids have all their vaccinations. Its just that with our second kid we did the required vaccinations at a slower rate and when he was older.

18

I can socialize with almost anyone. I’m oddly good at making small talk with strangers (it’s only around family that I get shy.) That said, I would avoid socializing with people whose unvaccinated infant is severely ill. I’m not afraid of catching anything from the poor child but I’d certainly be afraid of giving him or his parents one of my chronic sinus/bronchial infections.

I would have a previous family engagement, for the next five or six years, at least.

19

You know, there are more important things to a person than their beliefs. If you don’t agree on a subject, just don’t bring it up.

20

because you’ll rightly get ripped to shreds.

why?