I’ve actually faced this issue. As anyone who follows the religious debates in GD knows, I’m a devout Episcopalian. Years ago, I was very much in love with an equally devout Catholic. We loved discussing religion, both seriously and lightly, but out of respect for each other’s beliefs, neither of us expected the other to convert. We did get engaged, while neither of us wanted kids, we did talk about the idea of fostering in teenagers. If we had married and had kids, my take on it was I’d be willing to take them to the Catholic church once a month, thus taking steps to make sure they were raised Catholic and attend my Episcopal Church the rest of the month. I asked him about the rule for Catholics marrying non-Catholics, since I understood the rule to be that I had to convert, but according to him, it was enough for me to agree to raising kids Catholic. We never married, but for unrelated reasons.
My brother, on the other hand, did convert to Catholicism, in part because it was more important to his bride-to-be than it was to him. Also, it was her understanding that he did have to convert to Catholicism before marrying her, but these two relationships were taking place in very different part of the country. Tomndebb, if you’re reading this, I wouldn’t mind having it cleared up.
I also had a very conservative coworker once who surprised me when he told me he and his fiancee were converting to a new Protestant denomination which neither of them belonged to as part of their preparations for marriage. Apparently they wanted to go to a church which was theirs as opposed to his or hers. While even I admit there’s not that much difference among Protestant denominations, I found that unusual, and I didn’t really understand it. Then again, one of the stock jokes about my church is an Episcopalian family is what results when a Baptist marries a Catholic.
I still can’t see myself being willing to convert to a different religion, no matter how much I loved someone. On the other hand, I plan on continuing enjoying good discussions of religion in real life, as well as on-line. I would also much rather marry someone who was good, honorable, and decent, but whose religion was different from mine than an Episcopalian lout!