Yes, I thought about it a few years back and if I weren’t such a procrastinator I would have. I had had a few tough years physically and was glad to be alive. I thought about celebrating that fact.
I voted no, I would never throw myself a party, but I might have a party to celebrate something in my life. There is a difference.
Throwing yourself (or someone else) a party makes you (or them) the guest of honor. Proclaiming yourself the guest of honor is just wrong, mainly because at that point you are not a guest at all but the host of the party. Impossible to be both.
So I would never host my own “birthday party” nor would I host my own “housewarming party” or “promotion party”. All of those things indicate an expectation for the guest of honor (me!) to be treated special or to receive accolades, gifts, or commendation. It is just tacky to fish for compliments like that.
I might however host a party in celebration of my friends and their role in my getting a promotion or what have you. So the promotion party could still be handled with grace and hosted by the one getting the promotion, if it is done right, but it’s a fine line. The difference being that between “I am hosting a party because I got promoted!” and “I am hosting a party for my friends…oh and by the way I got promoted”.
I must be missing something.
For past birthdays, I’ve held a BBQ or fish fry at my place, with me providing the food and most of the drinks. We’d listen to music, play dominoes, eat, dance, etc. and everyone have a blast. I don’t see any arrogance in that.
No presents required or anything like that, though.
Huh. I throw my birthday party every year. I don’t call it that though, as some people seem to think that means I want gifts. Really the party is for me to do things I like, and I like to feed my friends. It does help that the weekend after my birthday is always a long weekend, so I can sneak it in there without people noticing :). This year it will likely be a housewarming party as well.
Promotion parties were almost required while I was in the service. You were expected to spend at least the difference between your old paycheck and your new one (or maybe it was your first new paycheck, I forget). The idea was that you were thanking the people you worked with for their support, which is what got you promoted in the first place. I’ve seen only a few thrown since then, but they were always in that vein, sharing the triumph, not rubbing people’s faces in it.
I tend to see things from filling_pages’s perspective. Naturally, my own life events are important to me, but to think that they’re important enough to someone else that they’d hold a celebration in my honor? I’d have to have a pretty overinflated sense of my importance in other people’s lives. Who else really cares, or for that matter, even *knows *that it’s my birthday? Sure, plenty of people might like me enough to show up and have a beer and cake and say, “Glad you were born!”, but to expect them to throw a party? That kind of thing is reserved, in my mind, for significant others. To have anyone else do it would be a little weird.
I guess that’s the difference. I don’t see a party as being an honor in and of itself. Sure, it’s an honor to have one thrown *for *you, because that shows that people cared enough about you to do so. But to throw one for yourself just says that you’re happy about something and want to share that happiness with loved ones. I mean, it’s not like you gave yourself the promotion. You got it through hard work and luck, so why not celebrate?
Think of it this way: you’re meeting friends at a bar, and one of your buddies comes in and tells the group, “Great news! I got a promotion! Drinks are on me!” Would that be gauche? If not, then why couldn’t your friend plan to do this in advance, rather than in impromptu fashion?
All that said, though, I probably wouldn’t throw a party for a promotion, because it’s just not that big a deal to me. I’m also older now, and not given to throwing parties like I was back in the day. But I don’t really see anything wrong with it.
As I read more responses, I definitely see both sides. I do find it interesting that people who’ve responded affirmatively are far more vocal about their selection.
No. Housewarming parties are traditionally hosted by friends of the person moving into their new home.
This is very surprising to me! Having a party thrown *for *you is the exception here, while most people host and arrange their own parties. Those hosting their own parties often take care of the logistics around it, whether making reservations or serving food in their own home. Gifts are never expected, though most people bring the wine or other booze to the party as gifts anyhow.
Anybody you would invite locally to a wedding shower or a baby shower for yourself, should be able to host it. It would be gauche to host your own. And if your local friends or other invitees don’t have the sense to step up and be a host, well I guess you’re SOL.
Really?
I’ve only ever attended them when they were thrown by the people whose home it was - it’s a “Yay! We got a new place, and it’s unpacked/decorated to where we feel comfy throwing a party here, everyone come over and see!!” thing. To which people respond with “Yay! We will gladly come over and look at your new place and celebrate it with you! We will also bring various things which you may need while setting up household!”
Is that not what a housewarming party is for?
I’m another one who thinks it’s okay so long as:
- You don’t ask people to bring gifts. Even if you know they will anyhow, don’t suggest it up yourself.
- You don’t ask people to pay for themselves.
If you are going to ask people to pay then I think it’s fine so long as you use the wording similar to Audrey Levins:
I would say this isn’t technically an invitation, it’s more one friend organizing an outing, same as if it’s St Patrick’s Day or any other random excuse to get together. No one is hosting, no guilt if you can’t make it, it’s not going to ruin the birthday girl’s day.
Notice she said they couldn’t afford to throw it. Hosting a wedding or baby shower is very expensive (invites, hall rental, food, gift bags, etc., etc).
I’ve never heard of such a thing.
Well then the solution is don’t have a shower that requires a hall rental and gift bags. You have it at someone’s house and make sandwiches and keep the guest list to 10 or 15 people. If no one can afford to pull that off then this probably isn’t a good group to ask to buy baby presents for someone else’s kid.
Wedding and baby showers can be as simple as hosting cake and coffee in someone’s home. I have never heard of someone having a shower in a rented hall. :rolleyes:
No, I think it is tacky as hell. A party is something someone throws for you or you throw for someone you love.
I think if someone sent me an invitation to anything other then a barbecue I would wonder about the person.
((Happy Birthday to me))? ((Come to my promotion party and tell me how great I am.))
((I’m having a baby shower for our 5th little bundle of love)) Bleck!
I wouldn’t throw a party for myself, but then, I’m really not a party person. I wouldn’t throw any party, nor would I want to be the recipient of one.
When I win the lottery, you all will be invited to the party.
'Course, I’ll be attending via closed circuit tv from an undisclosed, remote location.
Where I’m from, birthday people over age 15 throw the party themselves. Wedding parties are thrown by the couple. Maybe it’s just a language issue?
Honestly I think they might be more vocal just because they are baffled by the thought of someone breaking up with someone because they threw a party for themselves? That is straight out of bizarro world to me.