I am very surprised this thread has lasted this long. I expected to get three or four fire and brimstone posts from old, dodering Indian ladies against a whitey wearing a sari, and for the thread to die there.
Imagine my surprise!
Er, I’m technically Indian - both my parents are Indian, but met and married in the UK…
Do we have any old, doddering Indian ladies on this board? I’m too young to dodder.
And, Angua, didn’t realise. Apologies.
That’s OK.
I’m far too young to dodder. However, what I do object to, is when people can’t wear saris properly, and look downright ridiculous.
It’s amazing to me how intimidated American women – and even many ABCDs (by the way, I have a permission slip from my ABCD friends to use that term! It stands for “American Born Confused Desi”, a.k.a. someone born in the US with South Asian parents who grew up with culture clash) – are about wearing saris. I think this accounts for a large degree of the “ridiculousness” factor you see. I see women who look like they’re terrified the thing is going to fall off, or come unravelled, or possibly turn into the Blob and eat them. I’m guessing a lot of them had Ma or a friend wrap it for them, so the draping process is this impenetrable, unknowable mystery.
Since I’ve been wearing them at least once a week for almost two years now, I’ve noticed that the key to being comfortable in them has a lot to do with understanding how to futz with them. We all sort of subconsciously tug at our clothes all day, and understanding how to tug to get the results you want in a sari does take a little practice.
I got unafraid to do this sari-tugging in a roundabout way. I had always been impressed by Muslim women who wear headscarves – whenever I had worn a scarf in cold weather, it seemed like it took constant adjustment to keep it from falling in my eyes or off my head. But the women I saw wearing hijabs were mostly in TV interviews and such. Then, when my husband started making large numbers of Muslim friends through his Arabic studies, I observed that hijabs need just as much futzing as any scarf I’ve ever worn. These young Muslim women friends were tugging and patting their scarves all the time! Wow! And they use bobby pins sometimes even! It’s not some arcane cultural knowledge that allows your head to become selectively magnetic to fabric, not a trick like being able to balance a pot or a book on your head. Maybe middle-aged women have learned that trick, but these 20- and 30-something women sure hadn’t.
So I started to experiment with saris, got comfortable futzing with them, and learned little things like if your pallu is too loose across your chest, it’s probably because your waistband has slipped counterclockwise a bit, causing slack. And so on.
Gah! Me too! Me too!
Well, born and raised in the US, but you know.
(Anyone who dares call me an ABCD dies. I hate that term.)
Wouldn’t dream of it… I try only to use it in reference to those who tell me they like it and who listed their sigs on my permission slip 
I think I picked it up because it’s easier, more lighthearted, more specific, and more evocative than “second-generation South Asian immigrants to the U.S.” but I can see how it could bug you.
Thank you, emilyforce. I think you’re the first person to not get huffy when I mention that. (Usually a bit less… forcefully, though. )
(Like a red flag in front of a (small) bull. 
I have to admit I missed the part about the permission slip, so my apologies. :))
Emilyforce, I agree with you. Although I haven’t seem too many non-Indians wear the sari, those that I have seen always seem to be permanently uncomfortable in it. Maybe that’s why, in my eyes, they don’t look that good in one, compared for example to someone who’s been wearing them for a long time.
There have been exceptions though - a British lady working at the Consulate in Bombay frequently wears saris to social functions, and she does look rather nice in them.
I’ve always found it rather nice when people of other cultures decide to wear saris and punjabi dresses and cholis. After all, I am passionately fond of cheongsams and I would be pretty sad if people misinterpreted my aesthetic appreciation for cultural imperialism or something.
In response to the lehenga choli question above (forgot who asked)-there’s a style that allows you to show less belly-I think it’s called the lachaa choli-the top is long and flows over the skirt. Usually they tend to be pretty sheer, though.
another Indian, though certainly not doddering yet
Anu
For those of y’all following along who aren’t sure, a “lehenga choli” (also called just plain “lehenga”, or lengha, or lahanga, lhenga, etc.) is a skirt-scarf-and-blouse set that’s actually more “traditional” than saris in certain areas of India, particularly (IIRC) Rajasthan. They’re popular as wedding wear in many urban areas.
The choli (top or blouse) is usually somewhere between long enough to just cover your bra to long enough to reach your hip-bones.
The lehenga (skirt) is usually full and floor-length.
The dupatta (scarf) is quite long and is worn in dozens of different ways, draped over your shoulders, over your head, or both.
Example of a very fancy bridal lehenga choli. (Would you believe this one is actually at my house right now? It was made up for a fashion show in Houston and no one’s bought it yet, so it’s in my closet. Note that ALL the patterning on that thing is hand embroidered. Dang! It makes me nervous to handle it.)
A lachaa is indeed a tunic-length choli (or a full suit with one). So a “lehenga choli” is a “skirt-and-blouse suit” or while a “lachaa choli” is a “lachaa-style choli”. I guess Hindi modifiers aren’t much more sensible than English ones.
Thats a pretty and heavy lenga emilyforce.
I kind of agree with what gouda said.
Sometimes I see a few at weddings, they look awkward I guess because they have a hard time walking in them. But I do think non south asians look silly when they wear bindis like how gwen stefani did a few years ago.
My sari is here! My sari is here!!
And now I am really scared :eek:
This is clearly going to take some practice sessions. I have bookmarked several “how to drape a sari” pages (Nivi style) for reference. What worries me is whether I’ll just look like a big ol’ blue silk SACK. I am not small, and I am very pear-shaped.
Anybody got links to pictures of large women in saris, so I can be reassured?
I do hope to get some pics up of me in my TWO new salwar kameez, for the person who asked and anyone else who cares to look. The day we did take the camera along when I was wearing the first one, the batteries were dead. :rolleyes: Next sunny day, I promise!
How totally cool, Scarlett67! Wow, I remember when my first sari arrived… I was so excited and apprehensive.
I’ll try to find some good pictures of real-size women in saris for you. In the meantime, if you have any questions, I’d be happy to help. I’ve been meaning to do a tutorial with photo illustrations for ages and never got around to it – the drawings on most sites leave a lot of details out.
The first time I tried draping a sari, it seemed to go perfectly. Then, the second time, I couldn’t do it for the life of me and got verrrrry frustrated. I think I wore the sari around the house at least a dozen times before I dared wear it out. And I know for a fact that the first six months I wore saris I was doing the pleats backwards – even though two different (apparently polite) young Indian men complimented me on how wonderfully I draped it, hee hee. 'Course they wouldn’t really know in any case, never having done it themselves!
Can’t wait to see your pictures. Yay!
Hi, everyone! Lurker from Malaysia here.
As far as I know sarong is a Malay word, while sari is of Sanskrit origin (that’s what my Indian friends tell me, anyway). The word sari itself has been incoroporated into Malay, so I think it would be safe to say that the to are of separate origins.
I think I’d be worried about looking out of place. Which is too darn bad, cause all the saris and salwar khameezes (I’m sure that’s not the proper way to pluralize it, but bear with me) look so gorgeous!
Hello I have decided on wearing a saree for my semi formal could anyone help me with is im kinda lost lol
It is Zombie Saree.
Well, it’s been a blast from the past to read this thread again!
I was obese when this thread was active, but I’ve lost 75 pounds, and now my cholis don’t fit anymore. 
So until I can find substitutes, my saris will go unworn. I never have worn them in public; around here, that would make me out as a bit of an attention whore.
My salwar kameez are too big now as well. Eventually I’ll find them a home and get some new ones, but it’s not a priority right now. I do occasionally swipe a dupatta, though. 