wouldn’t it suck worse if you had a really great job, loving family and nice car but got NO HEAD?!?!?
Wouldn’t it suck if…
you accidentaly used all bold text on your post even though you’ve been on this board since 1997?
…your favorite message board was too damn slow.
…you were going on a hike Sunday. You want to wear shorts becasue it’s going to be in the 90’s, but you also want to wear long pants because there will be lots of mosquitoes and ticks.
…you found out that you were actually living in The Matrix.
…George W. Bush were President of the US?
… you had a little clock that showed how much time you’ve got left to live?
… Hollywood went ahead and made only deeply meaningful and significant movies?
… you died after you had sex?
… if women ate men after having sex with them, like some spiders?
… every sex act resulted in pregnancy, which were always carried to term and always resulted in triplets?
… in a good way if cum tasted like chocolate and was addictive as crack?
…you fell in love with your neighbors dog but your neighbors wouldnt let him move in with you?
…you masturbated with toothpaste? (Thanks, SPOOFE!)
…If in real life, people randomly listed off points by number and at the end said, “And third, Hi Opal!”?
…if everyone, everywhere you went talked like Cat from Zero Wing?
…if everywhere you went, you thought you saw Dustin Hoffmann?
…if there was really never a war with Iraq and it was all just Kirsten Dunst running with a bag of potato chips?
…If George W. Bush got re-elected?
You spent your life believing that love was a farce,
Then one day you fell in love …
with the world’s only living heart donor. :eek:
what a waste.
if you died before having sex? (In other words, in order for the sex act to be consummated, you had to die before it got to the “good part.”)
if everything you believed in your heart about life, the universe and everything turned out to be totally wrong?
that no matter how hard you worked, no matter how good you were, you still ended up as being just another mindless, unknown cog in some vast machine?
if our next president wasn’t the Dubya, but was just as awful?
if the high point of your day was posting on the SDMB? (Oh wait, it is! Damn, I need a life!)
. . . if you really cared that Tom Cruise was going to win an MTV Movie Award Thursday for best male performance for his work in “Mission: Impossible II”? I mean, really, REALLY cared?
Or that the highlight of your life was watching Christina Aguilaria sing “Lady Marmalade” with Lil’ Kim, Pink, and Mya, dressed up in this GAWD awful red bustier with black fishnet stockings and looking like a coked-up hooker in a Ken Russell wet-dream?
…your ex started talking to you again and you realized you didnt hate them anymore?
…Napster turned into this evil hellbeast that let you -think- you were downloading songs when in turn, its all a big, fat fucking LIE!!!
Err…
Yeah. That would suck. Ya know, if it happened.
…I really had all the diseases I think I have?
…this is really Hell and you’re being punished for something you did in a previous life?
…Cecil really was God?
…there really was a third word in English ending in GRY, and if you knew it, it’d give you incredible superpowers?
…Elvis really did die for our sins?
…there was an election where BOTH candidates were big fat jerks? Errr…never mind.
Actually, that would be wonderful if the OJ murders were committed by a “one armed man”. That would mean that the justice system worked after all!
Things that would suck:
Finishing up college and having a great high paying Wall Street job lined up, only to have the offer recinded (this actually happened to some people I know).
Some unpresidently huge international emergancy occurs during Bush’s presidency. By some bizarre accident, Bush pulls a Homer and history remembers him as a greater president than Washington, Lincoln, Rosevelt and Kenedy put together.
You won a hundred million dollars but in order to collect it, you had to agree to traveling around with the Baldwin brothers everywhere you went, for the rest of your life.
The old cliche where a person is lost on a deserted island for months, only to find out that there is a resort on the other side of the island.
Signing up for karate classes to protect yourself from a bully, only to find out that your particular bully is the star of the class. (Kind of like the Karate Kid).
You find out that you have an IQ of 200 and superhuman strength. To maintain this, however, you are not allowed to shave, or cut your hair, fingernails or toenails.
…everyone got what they wanted?
Or rather, what they said they wanted?
Or how about every time a certain person half way round the world wanted something, you got a lifetime suply of it wherever you happened to be standing?
"Hmm, I could use some Chinese food "(although in China, they would probably have just called it food). Poof Now you have 3 tons of Chinese food.
or if men didn’t. 