Wow! Dolphins have names.

For each other, I mean. Two dolphins can even refer to a third dolphin. They also seem to have “family whistles” - they respond to referential whistle patterns used by members of their own families, even if the whistles are played by a synthesizer (so they’re not just recognizing each other’s “voices”.)


This is just another reason why we should initiate to destruction of the Dolphin. It’s just a matter of time before they rise from the seas and try to take our land and our women.

They must be stopped.

I, for one, welcome our new Dolphin overlords.

Well, duh… like, Flipper!!!

Next up: opposable thumbs.

I wouldn’t really be too worried until they get that whole fire thing worked out.

No wrists = no digital watches = we are safe. For now.

Weren’t dolphins once land animals? Perhaps they’ve tried the whole dominant species before and found it wasn’t as much fun as swimming around in the oceans and eating fish. Maybe that’s why they’re always smiling?

I for one, feel more comfortable knowing they are here. If they all decide to leave then we might be in trouble.

Ehhh… relax.

Yeahbut… the polar caps are melting. I think dolphins may be responsible?

We’ll all drown. It’s world domination!

They have names ? Lunch and Dinner perhaps ?

That’s always the first sign of trouble.

Kinda makes you wonder what your dolphin name would be.

I hope mine’s something like Clickclickweeeeurrrr and not something shrill like Weeeeeerrrggggoooo.

I hate scientific leaps of assumption.

Maybe dolphins just continuously hack up fish balls, like cats, in an auditorally unique manner that others are able to recognize? I mean, I can tell which of my dogs happens to be barfing up his kibble, but it doesn’t mean he’s calling me by name…


Male dolphins have prehensile penises, they don’t need thumbs.

I believe I’ve read that this is urban legend.

Imagine the gender relations in a creature where only the male could manipulate things, though!

Dammit, man! Didn’t you read the Onion article??!

I’m not going to let a bunch of hoop-jumping tuna-munchers push me around!


claps flappers

They had them and decided that they could live without them.