My daughter is in 7th grade and is a lesbian. Yesterday was Day of Silence. She was the one kid to show up with a piece of duct tape over her mouth…
So…at 830 a.m. Mr. N. (assistant principal) called to ask if I knew she was observing Day of Silence and was wearing duct tape over her mouth. I said yes and explained that we had discussed it for quite some time, and while I encouraged her to choose a more subtle form of expression, she was adamant that she wanted to “do it the right way.”
Apparently her arrival at school caused no small amount of consternation in the office as the administrators quickly pulled together a meeting to decide how to handle it. And they handled it so well that I’m frankly still kind of stunned.
They printed her a note that says “Dear Friends, I am doing a LGBT and remembrance day called the Day of Silence and I can’t talk or sing. Thank you for allowing me to participate and show my support.” That’s pretty nice, but THEN, at the bottom of the note, an addendum for teachers: Weeping Princess has full administrative support. Thank you. Principal and Vice Principal.
As I was expressing my appreciation, the Mr. N. noted that the principal would have called, but she was printing flyers out right now to support Day of Silence to post around the school. (I would later hear from another office person who said the principal’s response was, “I didn’t realize it was Day of Silence. We need to get behind this student right NOW.”)
I also told him that yesterday a boy had made a “lezbo” comment to her as I was waiting to pick her up (I didn’t hear it; she told me afterwards), and she had preferred I not report it. I hadn’t reported it, but was still kicking around the “should I or shouldn’t I?” ball, and I was still bothered about it. He said, “Oh, I need NAMES. They are targeting her and that is NOT OKAY.”
I also spoke to the guidance counselor at another time during the day. Both administrators used the word “brave” when describing my daughter.
My girl has been through so much and I’m glad to see people get on her side. Frankly I would not have expected this level of support. I’m still sorta weepy about the whole situation. I don’t think I realized how alone I feel sometimes in trying to support her. She wanted to make a difference yesterday, and you know what? I believe she did.
Good for her! I noted a number of my debaters wearing LGBT/GSA shirts yesterday, and quite a few had brought their checklists in the day before (our school has a permission slip for teachers to initial so the kids aren’t hassled about not taking part in class discussions). The more that show their support, the more minds will be changed (or at least stifled from public harassment).
It’s so peasant to hear good things about school administrators! Thanks for telling this story, papergirl, and you too silenus. It never makes the news when people do the right thing and it really should. On the front page.
Aw, now I’m a bit weepy, too. That is a truly moving story of support, papergirl. I’m so glad that your daughter is in a school with such a good administration.
if she and you are willing, maybe you would consider posting this on the Facebook group Straight Dopers, and we could Share it? There’s so much ugly news that goes around, I like to share the good stuff, too.
You hear so much bad news these days it’s hard to remember that most of us are decent people doing our best to get along together. Thanks for the reminder.
It’s a public school in a little whitebread podunk town. They had some press about bullying issues last year and they seem to be trying really hard to turn it around.
I’m going to write them a letter of appreciation this next week, and maybe take them snacks or something. I’d love to write a letter to the editor, but frankly the town can be so conservative that it may cause a backlash.
WhyNot, that’s an awesome idea. I didn’t even know we HAD a facebook group!
ETA: sent a request to join the fb group!
I will say the high school has a Gay Straight Alliance group. Her older brother is active in it and they seem to do some pretty cool events. She also went to a Breaking the Silence party that evening in the next town, and I think we will start attending the meetings held by the group that hosted it. I’d like for her to have more of a community.
Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. She has had a difficult time (and I’m sure the hard times are not over) but I’m really proud of how determined she is to be who she is, and to not let anyone intimidate her.
The Sacramento area is full of Russian and Ukrainian immigrants who do their best to make Day of Silence a nightmare. They claim that if schools support or even acknowledge Day of Silence, it violates their religious freedom. grr
Weeping Princess now has a big, duct-tape induced rash around her mouth. She’s rather proud. She reports that the day went “really well” and she thought it was “really sweet” how the office reacted.
The school where I teach is observing the Day of Silence this Friday, and I intend to participate. Teaching calculus silently is a challenge, I’ve done it before at another school and had a great experience. Hand gestures can accomplish a lot…
Fortunately our GSA has full administrative support. What I find amazing is that the first school at which I taught, a Catholic boy’s school, has a GSA.
I’m impressed too. I work with a GLBTQ youth group, and have heard plenty of stories about youth not being supported by their schools or teachers. You and your daughter are very lucky, and I think it’s awesome!
