Wretched U.S. Census Bureaucrats

The BBQ Pit
1

All right, goddammit. What the hell is with these bungling bureaucrats? Yesterday I got, ‘The Letter,’ from our feckless government census takers. This ‘letter’ is intended to give us sheep… er, citizens, a warning that the census forms are going to arrive in approximately one week. Someone please tell me why I need this trivial alert. Is it supposed to give me time to get my #2 pencils sharpened? Kill my offspring so I don’t have to try to remember their ages? Get a sex change? What?

And you’d think this pointless letter would be enough worthless rubbish to send to everyone and clog up the goddammed mailboxes. But, no. No fucking way, Jack. The letter has to include with it a business reply envelope. Why in the fucking hell is this useless piece of shit in here? There’s nothing that requires a stinking reply. I think I’m going to stuff a dead mouse in it and return the sonofabitch.

Additionally, why are all these fucking letters printed with incorrect addresses? This is just another monumental balls-up committed by yet one more inept and clueless arm of the oppressive hydra our government has become. How is this supposed to convince me that this will be the ‘most accurate and complete census ever’? The bastards can’t even get an address correct, what the hell are they going to do when they actually have to add up a couple columns of numbers? What a bunch of pathetic buffoons.

These inept imbeciles have had an entire decade to prepare for this thing. I’m hoping it didn’t just sneak up on them. If we ran our businesses like this we’d be on the welfare line. And there’s another inefficient government bureaucracy I better not get started on. Son of a bitch, it’s just sad.

2

I got the same letter yesterday. It was written in a few different languages, and included a reply envelope to send back a request for Census materials if you wanted 'em in some language other than English.

Didn’t check the address, but I understand that a private contractor screwed 'em up by adding an extra digit or some such – it was in all the papers last week.

Take a deep breath, Unc. Go have another beer. It’s gonna be okay. :wink:

-Melin

Voted Best Moderator

Siamese attack puppet – California

3

I have one better than that. I got 3 letters, all with a different address. I didn’t open any of them yet, but tomorrow I’ll put two back in the mailbox for someone else. I don’t know who screwed that up, it might have been the Post Office.

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

4

Well, I got two of them as well, so I put one on top of the mailbox (along with the half dozen other ones from other tennants) this morning on my way to work.

So when I get my mail today, it has the other one back in my mail box, with my address written over the false one!

I actually have an assumption here about this… Maybe my address acttually is legal for two addresses according to loookiing at property maps instead of reality?

Either way, piss-poor planning. And I can’t wait for them to try and push charges on someone who gets several forms, turns in one, and they try and nail the poor person because (s)he didn’t fill out the one(s) forr the bogus non-addresses.

Or better yet - Really fuck with them for their incompetance… Fill out every form I get, one real, and the other totally fictitious! I think my extra will show me to be a Polish woman living with my South African lesbian lover and out 36 kids, aged three months to 97!

Yer pal,
Satan

5

I haven’t received one yet. Does that mean the Census Bureau doesn’t know I’m alive?

Serious question: Isn’t participation in the census voluntary?

When all else fails, ask Cecil.

6

Jab, according to the letter, the US Constitution requires a census be taken. But I don’t know if it requires people to participate.

I’m looking forward to filling mine out :slight_smile: I’m going to make copies to store away for future genealogists (I’m not planning on having descendants, but just in case someone cares… no one will care, will they?).

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

The Kat House
Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring

7

Be nice to us ‘bungling bureaucrats,’ Unc. We try. Really. :slight_smile:

Melin’s right about the letter, and the extra digit, with one addendum: apparently the Powers That Be at the Census Bureau concluded that, in many households, the Census forms would just get lost in the pile of junk mail. So an advance letter, which you just got, was sent out so that people would know the damned things were coming, and to keep an eye out for them.

You may not need the letter, but there’s a lot of people out there who aren’t so quick on the uptake. The Census Bureau wants to get tehm as clued in as possible. This may seem like a waste of money, but probably not; more on that further on.

The reply envelope, as Melin pointed out, is to return your request for a Census form in one of the five non-English languages on the advance letter: Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Tagalog, IIRC. (The Bureau can also provide instruction booklets, if needed, in over 30 other languages to help speakers of those languages fill out their English-language forms.)

I don’t know anything about the digit added to the address on the letter, other than what’s been in the news (last Friday or Saturday, IIRC). I got an extra ‘1’ in front of my house number, FWIW. It got here. Everyone else I know got theirs, too; it doesn’t seem to have caused many problems with delivery. (ultress, I’d agree that that sounds like the normal level of USPS goofing-up.)

The reason why the advance letter is probably cost-effective, rather than just throwing more money away, is this: for every form that doesn’t get returned, an enumerator has to come to that household and ask the same questions in a FTF interview. As you might imagine, that can get expensive; in fact, the bulk of the cost of the Census, this year, is expected to be those door-to-door visits. If 61.5% of the forms mailed out get completed and mailed back, rather than 61.2%, say, that saves millions of taxpayer dollars. So if the advance letter has a noticeable impact on how many people return their forms, we come out well ahead on the deal.

And the expense of all those enumerators knocking on doors and conducting interviews is why I keep on saying, in various threads: fill out your forms. Even if you’re a complete libertarian, the more forms that get returned, the more tax dollars don’t have to be spent on the Census, and can go to retiring a bit of the national debt instead.

8

That was your local postal courier. The Census Bureau can’t control 'em. :slight_smile:

I doubt it, but what sort of place do you live in? Townhouse? Apartment?

The likelihood of anyone actually getting fined for not filling out their forms ($100 is the max, under the law), this year, is zero: the publicity would be incredibly negative, and everyone knows that.

The mark of a truly great mind isn’t whether you’re right or wrong. It’s how well you can weasel out of a jam. - Unca Cecil

9

Reminded me of the sweepstakes stuff I keep getting from Reader’s Digest. Sometimes there are TWO separate mailings to tell me to expect the big one. Cracks me up.

As an amateur genealogist, I treasure the census information and urge everyone to return their complete form when it finally arrives.

SDMB’s oldest living female!
Acclaimed author of: No Bad Brontosauri
365 Ways to Cook Sabertooth Tiger
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Wheel

10

In response to jab and Gr8Kat, participation in the census IS required by law. As our lightening bug friend notes ;), it’s unlikely that anybody is gonna actually get fined over it. But it is the law, and cooperation is cheaper all around in the long run, plus will help establish such things as the re-arranging of the numbers for each state in the House of Representatives.

-Melin

11

UncleBeer, I feel your pain. Go pour yourself a cold one. Yes, the whole thing has been a clusterfuck in a Shanghai cathouse. Has the Census bureau blown it? Big time, big guy. But is the process stupid?

Not on your tax return, bucko.

Yeah, the census is mandated. So are taxes to the fed. Translation: you’re gonna pay, the only question is what you get back. And what you get back depends in great part on the census.

Taxes are collected; taxes are distributed, in many cases based on population and demographics. Estimates vary, but around here the numbers are for every residence that goes unreported, $1,000 per year is lost. That’s $10K per census, per household.

Do the math. The tax money the feds collect flows back (::ahem!:: in part) by population. Want your bucks to come back back home? Better have the census/population numbers.

That said, I’ve been working for months with a civic/community team to get an accurate count this time. I have never (NEVER) seen a more inept, confused, discombobulated and disorganized mess than the Census bureau. (Not all! just the structure.)

Rules change without notice, help-line phone numbers are cancelled without warning, key workers are fired, 10K posters in Korean are delivered–but none in English, etc. etc.

Whoosh! Sorry, UncaBeer. You’re both right and wrong.

Toss me a cold one, huh?

Veb

12

OldBroad – Amen. From a genealogical standpoint, the most tragic things that ever happened were the loss of the 1890 U.S. Census and the Bremen Ship’s Registry.

Lord knows I’m no fan of government, and I largely believe that the only thing any government has ever done right was to get all of the roads to connect to one another, but the Census might be the only other undertaking of government that is actually noble and well intended.

That said, I intend to lie like hell when I fill mine out.
Dr. Watson
“Soon to claim the Federal Government as a dependent on his Income Tax.”

13

As I posted in the GQ section, I will be only answering one question “how many people live in your household”.

They don’t need to know any other shit about my life I will be damned if I will answer them!

I read through the Census Bureau pages…what a crock…It’s all about programs I don’t believe in…so in light of my beliefs, that is all I will answer!

If you are like me, answer “None of your Business” but be sure to understand that you may be subject to a $100.00 fine.

Things that tick me off are questions that pertain to your race…WTF, I was adopted, for all I know I am a Jewish, Catholic, Irish, Mexican…just bullshit to me…

Oh and yes, they got my address wrong too. They had an article about it on Yahoo! a week or two ago,

Shit, maybe I should go an become a Census worker, the only thing I would ask would be “how many people in your household” Cool, got it, you don’t have to answer any more questions now. Hey for $12.00 and hour (your tax money) I might be able to get some new clothes (from your tax money) or possibly the new KPT 6 I have been wanting for my computer.

14

I understand the purpose of the census and fully intend to fill it out. What I don’t understand is the need for this damned letter. If I were one of the moronic masses and just assumed that most of the shit in my mailbox was junkmail, would I not be more likely to ignore a business sized envelope than the larger package which will actually contain the census forms itself?

And as for using the reply envelope to request the materials in a different language, how would I know that? The text of the letter says nothing about that, at least in English. If it’s written in one of the other languages that’s fine, but since it’s not in the English version, the inclusion of it seems cryptical. Or one could assume that one didn’t receive everything they were supposed to. I’m still sending them the dead mouse.

15

It is. Look at the bottom of the letter, and at the reverse side.

Suppose 70% of the population would notice the Census mailing itself, and another 20% notice the advance letter. If these are independent events, then what’s gained is 20% of the 30% who wouldn’t have otherwise noticed the Census mailing, or 6% of the population. If half of them actually fill out the form, it’s a big win for sending out the letter - even aside from the language issue.

The mark of a truly great mind isn’t whether you’re right or wrong. It’s how well you can weasel out of a jam. - Unca Cecil