Writers on strike! Quick...fill in for your favorite shows!

Next week on Supernatural: Sam n’ Dean do battle with a nefarious pack of clothes-stealing imps!!

[sub]Seriously, I want everyone who’s responsible for this strike to develop necrotizing fasciitis in their genital regions.[/sub]

My Law & Order script is coming along…I just need to know if we can shoot a scene in the Bahamas with Chris Noth wearing a Speedo…I can give him a break from that stupid CI spinoff…scribbles furiously…

Bionic Woman… not sucking!

Wait, Hollywood had paid writers? Huh. Coulda fooled me.

I’ll get Kripke and Sera on the line. :wink:

(From what I’ve heard, the WGA is getting a pretty raw deal on the DVD sales–can anyone give me the lowdown?)

that show has WRITERS?! When the F did that start…

I’d write for My Name is Earl

Earl gets a pardon by saving the governors ass when she comes to visit her husbands crappy prison.

Craig T. Nelson leaves on vacation cause he’s scared of his wife and what she’ll do to him now.

Randy becomes the warden.

Catalina starts jumping again…

There, that should give us plenty to work with until those pesky writers come back :slight_smile:

From what I understand, the formula for royalties is based on when VHS first came out, about 20 odd years ago. The WGA wants it reworked. The studios refuse to engage in any further negotiations unless the DVD issue is removed from the table completely.

According to Cynopsis.com, a trade e-newsletter

Yahoo says neither side is budging.

Then we better start writing!!!

ABCD is what I care about. If there is no Frons. If there is no Valentini. There is Me.

General Hospital:
While Anthony Zaccchara is skulking around at the black and white ball he shoots Sonny Corinthos dead. His ex wife Carly is so mortified, she goes into a coma and must be taken to the nearest sanitorium.

Jason Morgan is sailing on a skeedo to get to the Spoon Issland to save his lover Sonny, but is too late. Fortunatley , Jason arrives in time to save Ric Lansing, the District Attorney. For some unbeknownst reason, Monica Quartermain, Edward Quuuuartermain, and Tracy Quartermain Spencer were all very late to the party. Luke Spencer is concerned, because Carly is after all his niece. It’s not like his sister Bobbie was invited to the ball, hell ,is she ever invited out of the basement?.

Yeah, focus. Carly and Sonny are dead. Woohoo. Jax is the new overlord, exccept he isn’t a mob guy. Alexis is never in fear of losing her children, Skye and Jax will try to reload. Alcazar is a badass who wanted to dethrone Corinthos. Now that he has, he’s okay. Liz and Lucky still l;ove eah other, Nic and that fucking Quartermain adopted shit love each other.

I’ve hit a roadblock in my Law & Order script. I can get Chris Noth on the beach in the Bahamas in his Speedo, but there’s no earthly reason for him to be down there, unless I want to tie in a Natalee Holloway thing, and I believe that’s been done.

Do you think the fans would be terribly upset if we bring back Jill Hennessey as Claire’s twin sister, Caitlin?

Jill Hennessey does have a twin sister, Jacqueline!

So you’re saying your L&O script has characters? Don’t you worry that you’re missing the point a bit?

With no writers **Drawn Together ** and **South Park ** will be tolerable.

It’s good to know that all Supernatural fans appear to have had the same thought. :smiley:
Oh, and I’m loving the Joan of Arcadia/Reaper crossover idea, so long as it has Mrs. McCluskey as God.

L&O: SVU: Pedophily is suspected at a nudist camp (a common charge, BTW). Benson has to go undercover. :slight_smile:

Here’s rundown of the issues from the WGA strike blog:
http://www.unitedhollywood.com/2007/11/short-version.html

Show of support from showrunners (the writer-producers who control TV shows and are generally the wealthiest, most powerful members of the WGA):

http://www.wga.org/subpage_member.aspx?id=2529
My own take: the writers will settle for considerably less than their initial demands, but the producers absolute refusal to discuss the issue of residuals on downloads antagonizes the writers and guarantees a long strike.

If the producers offer a 1 % residual rate on downloads, get rid of the promotional exemption, and go up two tenths of a per cent on DVD residuals (the rate would then be an even half a per cent for DVDs), the writers will make a deal. No one loses their jobs, the town keeps working, everyone is more or less happy.

The writers might be willing to accept a half a percent rate across the board, for DVDs and downloads, but this would be a tougher sell. Their current demand for downloads is a whopping 2.5 %. Going down by two percentage points might be achieveable, but only with a lot of sweet talking. Nick Counter, the head of negotiations for the producers, has gone out of his way to look tough, and this make it harder for everyone to be reasonable.

Is there any way for us, the home viewers to get in touch with any of these people, to express our desire for a speedy resolution?

Or would this not even matter because we are just gormless drooling masses who will be just as happy watching “Who Wants to Marry a 5th Grader” as any scripted show.

Sadly even those shows have “writers”. Someone has to write the questions, the “wacky” host banter and in something like Survivor turn the mounds of raw footage into a storyline (something a bit different from just editing but closely related). Since those shows typically aren’t filmed months in advance then its likely we’ll see the impact of the strike there first.

So let’s all hope that everyone takes their time to come to a fair agreement. In fact WGA and studios, take a few extra months to mull things over once you’ve got it. Don’t be hasty on this.

Soaps will do what they always do when they can’t think of anything else…show old clips from the show in slow motion with some lame singer crooning in the background.

Law and Order (all versions) will simply have that opening scene (where two people are chatting about the price of oranges in the supermarket) and discover a dead body - except now, instead of screaming and a quick cut to the police on the scene, they will just step over the dead body and walk on and the rest of the hour shows the characters doing paperwork and drinking coffee.

**Lost **will have all the characters running through the jungle screaming for the next 10 episodes, looking back in fear occasionally, but the plot going nowhere. Sort of like the show is written now.

CSI will do an hour long autopsy and end with, “We haven’t got a clue how they died.” and all go out for a beer.

How I would write the shows?

Pushing Daisies has the lead character suddenly become impotent. He touches himself down there and gets an erection, but is terrified to touch it again! For the rest of the series, he walks around with a huge lump in his pants.

Samantha Who suddenly gets her memory back and commits suicide. The guy from Pushing Daises sees her, remembers her being a bitch and walks away and the show is canceled. Luckily, the Ghost Whisperer comes by and they have a chat and she is signed to be a regular on that show, but they change the name to Dead Like Me Again.

Medium has the female lead wake up in the middle of the night and wake her husband to say she had another bad dream. Sleep deprived after her doing this every night for the past eight years, he simply pulls out a gun, blows her head off and has his first peaceful full night of sleep in ages.

House Hunters shows a couple who look at three homes and decide they are all overpriced crap and decide not to move after all.

I’m willing to write an episode of CSI: Miami for free. Most of episode is taken up with an extended and very graphic torture scene where Caruso is humiliated, degraded, battered, punched, beaten up again, knifed, forced to drink his own vomit and whacked repeatedly in the face with a rusty garden rake. Then he dies, forever.

I feel it could be a ratings winner. It’s pure logic. Take the available viewing public. Subtract the number of people who usually do watch CSI: Miami. The number you’re left with is the number of people who would tune in to watch this episode. Ratings winner!

Also, as well as saving money on a writer or writers (because I’m doing it for free), as a further way to save money, I also propose that this episide is made without any help from make-up, special effects or stunt co-ordinators. Just do it for real. Just get Caruso in, and set some seriously medieval-minded thugs on him and tape it.