Alright, I’ll agree that there’s no factual basis for violence towards women, BUT, even if he didn’t know she was crying, if a girl I’m dating is shitting her brains out in my home, I’d be just slightly concerned.
And, in hindsight, he obviously thought it was still funny enough to write about it. He made light of the fact that she was crying, again, in hindsight. And like pepperlandgirl stated, who the hell is he to think it’s all right to fuck with her digestive system? He couldn’t have possibly thought that she would be able to handle 9,000 calories (okay, 4,500, that’s still way more than any person should intake in a single meal) plus alcohol.
There. Sorry I didn’t respond to this post sooner.
That’s the wrong question. The question is, who the hell can consume that much in a single sitting without realizing it? Unless there’s some special macronutrient in MREs, there’s no way in hell she could have unwittingly eaten that much food. So she would have had to know, which implies that she brought it upon herself!
Again, for all practical purposes, it’s impossible to unwittingly get down 9,000 calories in one sitting. So let’s stop trotting out that number, ok?
Okay, I give you credit for the response, and the retraction about the violence and crying. And I agree with you that this guy is no prince. I wouldn’t act the way he did.
But I’m still not seeing the intent “to fuck with her digestive system”. Most people (most guys, anyway) are not that conscious of calories. I have no clue how many calories are in any meal I eat. I buy cream in half gallon cartons at Costco, and I make meals that liberally use that particular ingredient. My Beef Stroganoff followed by a dessert that includes dark chocolate, pound cake, raspberry liqueur and the aforementioned heavy cream has been a hit with women who I’ve dated. Again, I have no clue how many calories I’ve just served them. Never crossed my mind, actually, but I bet it was a lot. Am I an asshole?
I’m not the one who trotted out the number, the asshole in question did. If he’s lying, then he’s a lying asshole, as opposed to just being a garden variety asshole. Hell, in my menu I even gave in to others who said he’d doubled the number, even though there is no evidence of such a mistake occurring on his part.
He’s a raging asshole, and while I don’t know that he hates women in general, he certainly thinks little of this woman, to do this to her and then laugh about it.
I can buy him not knowing that she would react to the food in the way that she did. But there is no excuse for him to laugh at her discomfort and distress, and then write about it, revelling in the outcome of his prank. No excuse.
If he had meant to play a prank on her and it backfired (she was miserable in the bathroom), the proper response is concern, and an internal, “Whoops, that prank didn’t work out like I intended, did it?” But that’s not what this guy did. He laughed while she was miserable, he still laughed days later, and he wrote about it (har har har). Only sadistic assholes behave like this towards someone they supposedly “care” about.
The story was pretty funny. The overreactions to the story are fucking hilarious. Pancreas damage? You’re fucking killing me, man.
He fed her food. It upset her belly and she was embarrassed. I’d be a little more caring about it but then again I’m a pussy compared to a Ranger. It even said in the story that the girlfriend thought it was funny a few days later.
Look, he thought it would be funny to cook her a meal and have her love it and think that he was Mr. Gorumet all of a sudden. Then he would reveal to her later that made MREs. So she had an upset belly at the end which he didn’t intend and couldn’t have reasonably forseen. Whatever. The same thing happens to me whenever I eat too many onions or food that’s too spicy. It’s not the end of the world.
Well, the guy’s an asshole for his reaction to the situation and the pleasure he takes in this girl’s pain. If this was part of his plan, he well deserves a pitting. Such as it is, he’s still an asshole for his merriment.
However, c’mon, MRE’s are not that bad. I’m not even military and when a friend of mine moved, he left a bunch of MREs behind and I ate them without hesitation. I actually kind of liked them. Combined with the “just add water to heat” element of it, it’s like a science experiment you can eat!
Granted, I’m sure if I had to eat them every day, I’d grow weary of them, but if I had some lying around the house, I’d gladly eat them from time to time.
One MRE contains about 1350 calories. So there’s no way she ate 9000 calories in a single meal. (Oh the horror; somebody posted an untruth on the Internet!) Now, I don’t see her having eaten a couple thousand calories as being out of the picture, but then again that’s about the same as a big meal at McDonald’s.
I have to point out that the 9000 calories thing is a derivation of a bullshit military legend commonly circulated among the troops. The Army states that the caloric requirement for functioning in a strenuous field environment is around 3000 calories. The same Army sometimes limits a soldier to one ration per day. Chances are the supply sergeant will tell you “don’t worry, there’s plenty of energy in there” rather than saying “the supply chain fucked up, so tough beans.” This happens often enough that any Army private will tell you that an MRE contains between 3000 and 4000 calories today. But is that really true? I found more than one cite that says they only contain 1200 calories.
So if he used 100% of 3 MRE’s, there was a maximum of 4000 calories on the table, or 2000 calories per diner. If you think about it, common sense should give the lie to the “9,000 calorie” story. Your body reacts to fats, sugars, and proteins in various ways that signal fullness. It is highly, highly unlikely that you could consume 9,000 calories of anything before your belly told you that you’d overdone it.
Last but not least, the “farting and diarrhea” part of this story is inexplicable and probably an example of the embellishment that Rangers are known for. MRE’s are not known for causing these kinds of symptoms. If anything, they’re known for quite the opposite, which is why they’re called “Meals Refusing to Exit.” And if you think about it… is it possible to eat any food that will travel through your intestine and begin showing tailpipe effects in only 30 minutes? If there’s any poisoning going on, the girl did it to herself sometime in the previous 8 to 24 hours. However, the part about her not taking a crap for 3 days is entirely plausible. Is that evil? Probably not, I mean that can happen after attending a well-stocked wine and cheese party.
Bottom line… let’s think about these things before we blow our tops, shall we?
Once again, the intentions behind the meal are a secondary point. His reaction to her illnes, in itself, is sufficient for us to render a verdict of assholery.
And what kind of prick goes on the internet to revel in his girlfriend’s humilation and suffering?
“Raging asshole” might be a bit strong, but I can’t argue with most of what you say. (I wish I could - I would’ve enjoyed telling you “It’s a Midwest thing”, in reference to the heavy calorie meals.)
Okay, I missed the part where he held the gun to her head and demanded that she eat the whole thing. I also missed the part where he sat there gleefully watching her eat and not eating what he’d made himself.
Come on, the guy is couching this as a funny story. He may say he was laughing the entire 30 minutes she was in the bathroom with intestinal distress but probably he wasn’t. He was thoughtful enough to give her an Immodium (and she took that, too). She’s apparently okay with it. Although I bet the next thing she wants him to make her for dinner is reservations.
Hell, it may become a funny story that they are still laughing about on their 50th anniversary. Some people do find humor in those things.
He followed her wishes in making her something she’d never had before. He did some creative combining of MREs. Sure, that’s a lot of calories, but like I said, I missed the part where he demanded she eat it all. In fact she seemed to like it, because if she was just eating it not to hurt his feelings she still didn’t have to eat ALL of it, now did she?
I’d also bet he’s overstating the number of calories–but once again, she ate it. Most people, once they get a sufficient number of calories, stop eating.
I’d put her 3-day constipation fit down to the Immodium and not eating (not that I’d blame her) for the next three days.
Read the OP again, very carefully. He used at the very least 9 entrees from the MREs in the process, and depending on whether said meals contained the noodles, it might have been more.
It’s certainly in line with his other actions…