Now I feel like an ass for getting all worked up and whooshed by some bullshit internet story. Man, I’m easy. And I pride myself on being such a hardcore skeptic…:smack:
Assuming this story is even true,
I think the prank was funny if crude, and YMMV whether he was an asshole or not. Definitely jerkish behavior, but as he apparently ate the food as well, he’s not as much of an ass as he could have been, IMO.
I agree with catsix. The level of victimhood you want to heap on this hapless girlfriend is ridiculous. So she pooped, big whoop.
I think the story is bogus. Some of you seem to be under the impression that an MRE is somehow 3-4000 calories compressed into something the size of a vitamin pill. It isn’t. The contents of an MRE take up just about as much space as regular food. So, if this girl can physically wolf down 4000-9000 calorie’s worth of food, then intestinal distress is probably something she’s already familiar with. She’s a cow!
Also, Civilian MREs have around 800-900 calories per meal. Military MREs have 1300 calories per meal. http://www.mreinfo.com/civilian-mres.html That’s when they’re eaten in their entirety.
Good OG!
Take a deep breath, people!
The story came from a joke e-mail glurge list… it’s probably either complete BS or at the very least wildly exaggerated. Nothing to get your knickers in a twist about. It wasn’t even particularly humorous.
I agree that the guy comes off as a bit of a dickweed; but that’s his problem, not ours.
And for the record, I bought a few MREs on the black market a few years ago in Korea… they were pretty tasty, I though. I’ve eaten worse stuff on camping trips. 
so the story is made up and the facts wrong, so what? the reactions on this thread where some believed what the guy did is ok is real enough.
will the girl ever trust his cooking again? (if they remain friends in the first place) No. so obviously he did something very objectionable, and ‘asshole’ about sums it up.
No, the entree isn’t the entire MRE. If you had read the original post, you would have noticed that the meal consisted of 9 entrees, 8 packets of noodles, rice, some cheese concoction, about half of the desserts from the 9 MREs, etc. He also added powdered sugar and olive oil to the menu. If this story is indeed true, and if she did eat a third or more of it, she consumed a lot more calories than a standard fast food meal contains.
If this story is BS, then it doesn’t really matter, but unless you can come up with a cite for the caloric content of specific items in each packet of an MRE, I’ll stick with my posts.
OK, I’ll buy “more than a standard fast food meal” contains. But you need to understand that contrary to military legend, there’s nothing specially engineered about MRE’s that makes them like some kind of huge Jetsons meal-in-a-pill. I’ve eaten enough of them to know. When you’ve had enough, you feel full. If you eat the equivalent of 3 MRE’s, it’s because you intended to be a glutton. So the final verdict is no caloric malfeasance on the guy’s part.
(aside from it being a email whoosh and all)
Absolutely. Although the mists of mystery swirl around MRE’s, they are food. Ya’ know, like what you ate for dinner tonight?
Stupid Boy Scouts like to refer to them reverently as “calorie bombs,” as if they were manufactured out of hydrocarbons or C4 or something, but they are made up of the same macronutrients that everything else is, protein, fat, and carbohydrate. Nothing magic.
If a woman can actually get down 9,000 calories of MRE in a single day, well, scratch that, just no-one can. Hell, in the Tour de France, most riders do what, under 8,000 calories?
Believe me, if you ate 9,000 calories in a single day, you’d sure as hell know it well before you stopped. It is fun to see everyone get their panties in a twist over this horrid misogyny.
Just for fun, let’s look at Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. That’s a nice, high calorie casserole type dish, not too different from what our evil misogynist prepared.
One box, prepared, contains 780 calories. So, in order to ingest 9000 calories, our girl ate over 11 boxes of Mac & Cheese. By accident. Unknowingly. Girlfriend can eat!
ok… let me disclaim this post, cuz I didn’t take a full hour to read through ALL the posts… mostly page one…
but put me on the checklist with Haj and Catsix…
I thought the original story was fucking hilarious
and all you pussy ass liberals and man-hating lesbians who are OUTRAGED by the story are even funnier!
I was literally crying reading this thread… but i wanted to post before I lost my train of thought.
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MRE’s while loaded w/ calories and harsh on the system for those who are used to a ‘delicate’ diet are still edible and hardly poisonous.
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INTENTIONALLY setting out to give someone diarrhea would generally be considered an asshole thing to do… it wasn’t implied as such… but even still… the story itself, even if untrue if FUCKING FUNNY.
I think a whole lot of you are simply looking for an excuse to rant against: Men, military, non-liberals, sex-offenders (granted, not in this thread, but it’s been running rampant of late), and generally, anyone who duzn’t agree with your views.
Y’all should apply for Mod’s and Admins for the straight dope. Y’all seem to meet the requirements quite well.
And, for any who are offended by my position… fire away. This is the Pit after all 
Yanno, it is most disappointing, insofar as anything can be disappointing when it is so fucking predictable you could have bet hard cash on it, to see that the instant Dio disagrees with catsix he must needs accuse her of hating her own gender. :rolleyes:
I’m taking bets on how long it is before catsix asserts that two plus two makes four, and gets ragged on for misogyny on the strength of it :rolleyes:^3
As to the whole “poisoned” thing: :rolleyes:^100! If he’d intentionally set out to create something revolting, there’d be a case. If he’d intentionally spiked it with laxatives, ditto. Even if he’d set out to fix a meal that was edible only to someone with a cast-iron stomach. Feeding meat protein to a vegan, milk protein to a lactose-intolerant, sugar to a diabetic… sure, I’ll agree that’s tantamount to poisoning and sick into the bargain. Less severe, but still beyond the pale, would be for me to fix one of you Yanks a Brit delicacy such as stuffed hearts, steak and kidney pudding, black pudding or haggis (all of which are delectable, I might add) and watch your reaction after you’d happily munched it down and I told you what it was. (Disclaimer: Many Americans undoubtedly have sophisticated cosmopolitan palates and would enjoy any of the preceding. I write as I have found on a number of the Brit food threads, and I know they are not conclusive proof of the gustatory preferences of an entire continent.)
But what we’ve got here is food intended to be not only edible but as innocuous as possible, since I imagine the US military does not set out to visit its personnel with digestive upsets on a regular basis. Yes, the calorie content as advertise is egregious, but anyone seriously imagining that it’s going to make someone gravely ill is in need of a phrenologist. To call it “poisoning” is a severe stretch. To call it “misogyny” is a stretch too, unless you can actually show that he’s laughing at what he’s done to her because she is a woman. The question is, would the guy have got an equally big belly laugh over a male acquaintance with an equally drastic case of the farty shits? I suspect the answer might be “yes” - and he’d let the guy get his own Immodium, too.
—Assuming for the sake of the above that there was a shred of truth in the story–
Exactly my opinion.
I can support this.
Ahh. So it’s like The Steakhouse Incident, which I’ve never been convinced is true either.
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The story is BS.
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Even if the story were not BS, MRE’s aren’t poisonous. I served in the military during the transition period from C-rations (canned food) to MRE’s. So, I have eaten more than a few MRE’s. Other than the packaging, retort pouches instead of cans, there is no great difference. The actual food isn’t terribly different from what you get in cans from the grocery store. Meat from MRE’s is very similar in texture and flavor to commercial canned meat, for example.
All of the bitching about the MRE’s I heard in the Army had to do with the fact that the food was bland, was often eaten cold, and there was limited variety. Since then, I understand that a chemical heater has been added to MRE packs,so that they need not be eaten cold any more. No doubt they are still bland and in limited variety.
I have never been in the military, but I knew the “Ranger Pudding” technique–it’s not like it’s Top Secret. (Even the Army ROTC guys I knew in college knew about it–or at least similiar “mixes”–which is where I heard it from.)
I was going to post a bit more, but apparently the story is bogus, so I won’t bother.
actually back around 91 they did a major upgrade to them. (heaters and more variety, not to mention taste)… then maybe 5 years ago or so they did another upgrade. Supposedly went and hired actual chefs and stuff to make up the formulas (or so i heard at the time). They added more variety and the taste of them was improved a bit. So, a modern MRE is actually not too bad tasting.
As far as calories go, you only get 3000 calories per MRE (or what ever it is) if you eat EVERYTHING in them. The high calorie items are the candy/treat and cool-aid pack and sugar and high calorie bread item.
If you stick w/ just the meal packet, it’s considerably less.
Also, the high calories are for a PURPOSE. The average army grunt out in the field is working a HELL of a lot harder than the average peep who’s bitching about MRE’s on a message board. So they NEED the extra calories so they don’t burn out. Average Joe Schmoe, one FULL MRE would suffice for the day. And, i’ve never gotten the shits from them… bound up a little though.
I read the whole thread, and just wanted to put in my two cents.
The story is BS, MREs aren’t poisonous, it may have been a funny story to a point, but if a guy in my life ever laughed his fool head off at me and then posted it on the Internet to brag about it and show off what a funny funny guy he was then we’d probably be quits.
I don’t like pranks/practical jokers anyway, I think they’re juvenile.
However, it seems the girl has less of a problem with jokes and pranks. Can’t we just all put it down to differences of opinion? She finds poop comedy funny, even if it’s her own, I would be mortified.
Something similar to that has happened to me before. I’m an engineer, so my life’s about math, science, logical rules, and hard data. I was actually told by some nutwack on the now-defunct CNN Women in Society forum that ‘mathematics is misogyny because it feeds men’s need for strict rules and does not foster the women’s needs for feeling and lattitude.’
Wild, eh?
It’s the different strokes thing. I would probably laugh and then tell some mildly embarassing bodily function story about the guy.
I haven’t read the whole thread yet. But I have two questions:
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If one MRE is supposed to be 3,000 calories, and a soldier is supposed to eat, presumably, three meals per day, does this mean that the military considers 9,000 calories per day normal for a soldier? Or are they supposed to eat only one MRE per day?
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If the total of the food he made really did comprise 9,000 calories - well, she didn’t eat the whole thing by herself, did she? And were the plates licked clean? Did they eat every single bite?
Frankly I have a hard time believing that one MRE is 3,000 calories. The description sure doesn’t sound like 3,000 calories of food. If anyone has a box in front of them, perhaps they could confirm the nutritional content?
I still think he did a mean thing, no matter what. Why someone would feel the need to play such a joke on anyone, let alone his GIRLFRIEND, is beyond me.