I’d seen plenty of Buffy in the past, but I’ve been watching a lot of episodes recently- out of order…
Someone once told me that the more a person knows about something, the less they tend to revere it. I’ve found this to be true 95% of the time in life, but there are some exceptions. Buffy is one of those great things that you like more the more you see it.
Having watched a lot of season seven five four three and two, I started watching more of season one. Then I started watching the finale of season one.
The whole “Xander hits on Buffy and makes their Platonic relationship weird and creepy thing” really sucks.
Xander is based on Joss Whedon, and the whole point of his character – well, his character has many purposes, but one of the main points of his character is that he’s friends with Buffy and idolizes her, including sexually, but never makes it weird by doing something like that.
I know this happened a quarter century ago, but did anyone back then or anyone now think that that really, really sucks?
He was basically attached to her all the season before that, there wasn’t a platonic relationship there at all, he was weird and creepy. Him going for a kiss wasn’t anything much different from before.
It’s been a looong time since I watched the show, but my recollection is that Xander always had big “nice guy” energy – romantically interested in Buffy but afraid to do anything about it, he sees their friendship as a way to gradually insert himself into her love life.
His hitting on Buffy was cringey consistent with the character being cringey at that point. His cringiness, his inability to recognize either obvious signs of disinterest or interest, was some of what passed for comedic value while the show got its footing.
Did Wheadon see Xander as a stand-in for his self-perceived teen self? Maybe.
Is it not also a storyline the first couple seasons that Xander really likes Buffy? In the episode where all the girls are magically attracted to Xander, he says this when Buffy(under a spell) comes onto him:
So he did at one point, even when he was dating Cordelia.
It hurts that the actor playing him was about 50 at the time. What would have passed off as the social awkwardness of a 16-year-old boy character that looks like a 16-year-old boy looks creepy when he looks old enough to be worrying about his home mortgage.
Xander explicitly asking Buffy out late in season 1 was actually a step up for the character. Previously, he had been moping around without actually doing anything but hoping that Buffy would suddenly notice him. By asking her out, he was being open about his feelings for her (unfortunately, he messed up by being very nasty when she turned him down - realistic for the character, but not very appealing).
I don’t remember it being that weird, unless I’ve forgotten and the way he hit on her was extra creepy?
It is unpleasant, as a girl/woman, to realise that your male friends see you that way when you really don’t reciprocate, but OTOH it’s just sometimes a fact of life, and also it’s not uncommon for romantic relationships to start as friendships. He was still genuinely a good friend all the way through, and didn’t get all pissy with her for turning him down. Kinda a good example for young men and boys who have those feelings and get turned down.