I think this might be an example of how quickly perceptions and standards can change. I don’t think most people at the time thought it was creepy when Xander put the moves on Buffy. Sad maybe, but not creepy. But his reaction to getting rejected did make him come off like a jerk.
Your mileage might vary, but I remember that it was really jolting the way his attitude turned from “Hey, I’m just asking you on a date. Could be fun.” to “There’s something deeply wrong with you for saying no”.
Yep.
In the comics?
Yet given how inexperienced and insecure the character was, how emotionally immature he was, reacting in any other way than that defensive angry posture would have been unrealistic for the character. As odd as it may seem to be thinking about realisticness in a show like Buffy.
True. I think upthread, I did describe it as realistic, just unpleasant.
Now that you’ve reminded me of it and I’ve had a look back, I still don’t find it that big a deal. He was hurt, said something mildly mean - and really, he knew Buffy well enough to have said way more mean stuff - and then he got over it and continued being a really good friend. He was meant to be a teenager who was not a perfect human being - a lot of them actually said slightly mean stuff to or about each other now and again.
A lot of teenage girls end up being put in awkward situations when their male friends come on to them. Trust me, Xander dealt with it better than most real-life male friends when their female friends turn them down. They generally sever the friendship, and that’s the insulting part, not them coming on to you or reacting with an insult mainly directed against the people you are choosing to date.
Xander possibly being a Whedon-substitute doesn’t make it any worse, either, even with recent revelations.
You did.
I’m not so sure I see it as unpleasant as you do though. It set up the character as being the level of maturity he was supposed to be at, and gave him a base to grow from. Those of us who had been immature and insecure teens could feel his pain and empathize with his response even as we cringed, looking back at our own past immaturity from the vantage of many years later. The characters and their friendship got past it. The first time getting emotionally knocked on our asses putting ourselves out there romantically is not fun or pretty.
Fair enough. He certainly did grow from there.