It turns out my cousin, a bi-polar sufferer, has committed a third embezzlement offense to the tune of a couple hundred thousand dollars. As a result of the mental illness, jail time is not required. The cousin did, however, sign a house purchased with the money over to an estranged spouse who in turn promptly sold the house–making the children homeless–for personal gain.
I don’t want to revel in another’s grief, but it is a relief to only be the second biggest loser in my extended family.
So what did you do?
You need a family tree like DrJ’s. He’s clearly not satisfied with the sort of slackers and assorted ne’er do wells in my family; he has serial killers and drug addicts in his. Everybody looks good by comparison.
Nothing that’s the problem. I’m an unemployable loser without the confidence to even try to make my life better.
I guess my 'cuz is the vision of regretting something you have done whereas I’m the vision of regretting something you haven’t done. I wonder what the Butthole Surfers would say about that.
I would probably look good compared to a serial killer, though, what with me not murdering people and all. 
I’m sorry, it should have been “Nothing–that’s the problem.” As in I’ve done nothing and my problem is being a nothing doer.
Hey js ya look just fine to me.
I thought you were working for the funeral home?
Naw, that was a few years ago. But it is nice that you remember!
You know your economics, man, I am sure you can find something. It takes a whole hell of a lot to be unemployable.
At least you post to the SDMB! Does anybody else in your family? Who are the losers now?
Thats right !!! You are hanging with the *smartest, hippest folks on the planet *!!! That oughta count for something! 
Never thought of that. Hmm…