Yeah OK, So Hijack This!

I’m Popeye the Sailor Man! (toot)
I lives in a garbage can! (toot)
I eats all the worms,
And spits out the germs,
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man! (toot, toot)

Did anyone see Andromeda this last week? Spike was on it. Not Spike, Spike. James Marsters. Only he was being very Spike-esque. His Spike accent even crept in. And it didn’t when he was on Hollywood Squares that one time.

He’s way cooler than James Marsden, too. Even though James Marsden is making all these movies now. The no-talent hack.

And I’m thinking The Olive Garden. Yeah, that would be all family-friendly. They do have bar service, too. Right?

I wonder if that was her home address or her work address. Oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it now. I could warn her. But where’s the fun in that?

What are you looking at?
-Rue.

I’ve never been to the Olive Garden. We wanted to go once for my sister’s pre-wedding dinner thing but we couldn’t because Tina (that’s my sister) forgot to call and make reservations and when we got there the line was so long it stretched out into the parking lot. I think the Olive Garden in Albany was new then. It was like five years ao I believe.

I prefer the Cracker Barrel myself. They have really good chicken fingers. Absolutely delicious. And I like to order the chicken fingers with french fries and corn, and the corn has so much butter on it that it gets on the fries and the chicken, and you wouldn’t think that would taste good but it does. It’s quite yummy.

My mom likes honey mustard on her chicken and she’s always wanting me to try but I really don’t like it. I’ve tried it on chicken and on french fries and I hate mustard. Even with honey in it.

Sun-ny days, chasing the clouds away…

My electrical engineer is making me crazy. Yep, my personal electrical engineer on my project. He’s borderline clueless. You know what Electrical Engineers (EE’s) are important? You need two E’s to spell GEEK!!!

I dunno about Stan, tho - I’m thinking he needs to talk to the Dr about adjusting his meds. Or he might need to get laid. Either way.

Does this look infected to you?

There are chocolate chip cookies on the counter and cold milk in the fridge. SNACK TIME!!!

Is Mitzi a seductive name? Or does it bring to mind an old lady with big hair and a loud flowered dress? Not a poll, just random neurons firing out of sequence.

My husband observed (after Cranky Jr.s) bath that his testicles are finally starting to move down a bit. He says he now has a regular little ball-sack, and it’s so cute. I’ll have to keep an eye out for this development.

Yesterday I went to put air in a low tire and accidentally let a bunch of air out trying to affix the air hose to the valve. Then my tire was REALLY low. I finally figured out the attachment and waited and waited and nothing happened. “Oh great, I’ve got a tire puncture! The air is leaking out as fast as I put it in!” Damn! I called work to let them know I’d be late. Then I called Mr. Cranky. While I was waiting for him to come get me, I looked at the air hose and noticed this handle type thing near the end…hmm, what happens if I hold this down… AHA! You can’t put air in your tire without holding down the handle. Ahem. I quickly filled the tire and looked sheepish when Mr Cranky pulled up. Heh heh. Sorry Honey, your wife is an idiot.

Thursday is our anniversary. Only four years. Odd, it feels like longer. But a good kind of longer.

I never knew that my printer used ink from the black cartridge when printing colored photos. I mean, I am glad it does, since I know trying to make black eats lots of colored ink, but it was news to me.

I am not sure I like the holiday lights screensaver my friend downloaded for me.

I wonder if I could get away with a game of Elf Balls this afternoon? I told my coworkers to hit me over the head with a stapler if they saw me downloading it or playing it, but I feel like I am the only one in the office who hasn’t done so yet.

Since I can’t afford glass-blowing classes, maybe I’ll get my husband a palm pilot or visor for christmas. Hmmm.

The Olive Garden sounds good, but I think I’m just going to have a salad tonight. I’ve been eating too much rich food lately.

Not that the food was wealthy or due some large inheritance, just that it was high in calories or fat content. I really don’t have any relatives that would be leaving me a huge inheritance, though, being one of many, many grandchildren. I suppose I’ll get something from my parents, but I’d rather they didn’t die any time soon, they’re just getting really interesting and fun-spirited!

My parents went to Alaska for a few months this year. Drove up from Ohio. Just over 10,000 miles, round trip. They took up fishing while there and caught a bunch of salmon. Not a school, but quite a few.

Man, I’ve done some travelling this year! A few of us were in #sd a while ago and were comparing miles traveled for DopeFests and, just figuring it out right now, I’ve got ~14,320 miles traveled for DopeFests this year ( with another 900 on the horizon for 'BamaDope.) Wow.

Shoot, I’ve got a meeting to go to in seven minutes. I’ve managed to not have to go to them at all this year with the threat of charging double-time for sitting in meetings that have nothing or a tangential-relevance to my work.

Gotta go.

Screw the Olive Garden, I want Chinese take-out. Gimme some of those fried dumplings with that red mystery sauce they put in the mini-plastic tupperware-like container. You know what I’m talking about?

They really should hire a new janitor around here, since the old one likes to use the same mop over and over without rinsing it, then he sticks it in a closet corner where it stays damp and then the mop stinks like an old musty whore and then the bathroom stinks and man, it’s bad enough when that place smells like shit from the lactose-intolerant idiot on the 4th floor who insists on fouling up our bathroom in the basement but then you throw a musty mop smell on top and hoooooboy, what a mess.

I really should fix that power steering leak I have in my car. I’m getting tired of putting cardboard underneath when I park in my driveway.

Is it time to go home yet? It’s December 4th, and it’s 70 freaking’ degrees outside.

I’ve been watching my odometer a lot these days. I don’t want to go over 30,000 by the end of the year. Need to keep my average down for the end of the loan.

Everquest - The Shadows of Luclin is out today. I preordered a copy. But my interent is down for non-payment, I need to upgraded my memory, and my MB won’t take a 32mb video card.

I think I need to move my cube wall around. I keep getting the feeling that my boss is watching my internet usage.

What the hell is that?? Oh… piece of beef from lunch must’ve been stuck in my teeth. Which reminds me, I still need to find a new dentist.

Wonder if there’s any way I can get Jarbabyj to like me. She’s so hot I can hardly stand it.

I enjoy the Olive Garden. But I like Red Lobster better. But I never eat there because I always want the crab which is really expensive. Except on Mondays when they have that special. But I get paid on Tuesdays so I never have any cash on Monday anyway. I got paid today! Woo Hoo! Christmas shopping time!

Damn I’m in a horny way. Need a man.

My nose is all stuffed up.

It’s like 65 degrees out. In December. In Iowa. That’s weird.

Dopefest Envy. I only have ~11,656 miles logged this year, and not another 'Fest until January!

Sooo, racinchikki, how YOU doin’?

I need three ragwool socks for New York.

Sooo, Little Bird, how YOU doin’?

Frosted animal crackers. With the little multi-colored animal cracker seeds that crunch when you bite into them, but only so’s you can hear them on the inside of your head. Pink and white. Yumm! The best ones are from the bulk box at a place in Findlay Market, but the Keebler’s will do. Yummm!

I used to always go to the Olive Garden with parents for my birthday, oh those were the days. Now my parents forget to even take me out for my birthday at all. My birthday was Oct. 16th and I haven’t seen shit. A trip to White Castle and some diet Hee-Haw would be suitable at this point.

Actually White castle would be futile too as I’m vegetarian. I git real stoned about a month ago, was totally broke and my friend offered me some homemade chili. Naturally I declined even in the face of ravenous hunger. Then he mentions its range-fed beef with no hormone or antibiotic injections to the cows. This follows with my philosophies on what I eat (I’m not against eating meat or killing animals for food in general) so I said sure, I’m famished. BAD Fucking idea! I guess its true that if you don’t eat red meat for a certain amount of time you lose the enzyme to digest it. I had the most horendous case of fecal frenzia anyone could imagine. Two days I spent ridding my system of the horrid animal flesh that ripped through me and left my poor anus in utter disaray.

I had asteroids once, I couldn’t sit for a week.

Dec. 5th in Nebraska and it smells like spring out, the fog was so thick last night I almost drove of the Interstate twice. It’s about 60 here I think. Global warming is a myth.

Olive Garden? Red Lobster?

Denny’s, man. Denny’s is the ultimate in dining pleasure, for those of us who like that sort of thing.

Unless you want an uber-Denny’s kind of experience, in which case you can do Austin’s, or if it’s breakfast, Don’s. But only if you’re in Tucson.

Where it’s raining. Hardly ever does that. But here it is, rainy season. Which means it might rain three or four times.

My new leather jacket seems to be holding up to it well. Glad I mink-oiled that thing when I got it. Lotta foresight there.

Chicken fingers? That’s just wrong.

What’ll I have for lunch?

Oh, and on preview, I love frosted animal crackers. I knew this guy, a long time ago… Big guy, tough-looking, leather jacket, engineer boots, long hair… tough guy. His only weakness? Frosted animal crackers.

I miss him. I wonder where he is these days?

Serious Doper envy right here, as I’ve never been to a DopeFest. Yet. So log 'em in: 0 miles.

As for Olive Garden, there are much better Italian joints. But it’s a good, safe place that yes, does have alcohol. So fun for the entire family!

Hmm. Christmas shopping is going to be a bear this year. And that Christmas greeting I want to send Rue…I didn’t keep his address from the White Elephant gig. How will I get it to him?

Ah, this is a great diversion from my task of maintaining budget organizations in Oracle. Talk about a mindless task of just clicking on all sorts of buttons.

Today is my man’s birthday. 32 today. Mine’s coming up soon, too. I can’t believe it’s been about a year and a half for the two of us. There have even been discussions about cohabitating recently. Probably not until after the holidays and such are over.

Oh, and that 64 ounces of Diet Coke I had at lunch is kicking in. Guess I’d better just submit and get a move on.

Mitzi was the name of my cat.
May she Rest in Peace.

Oh, but yes she was a very seductive cat…not that I would know or anything, I hear it from the other local cats…Yep.

Olive Garden round here (which isn’t really around here, but about an 1 and 10 minutes away) is always busy but damn its worth the wait. I always get the Tour of Italy and wind up with a belly ache from eating too much. They’ve also got hot waiters. My favorite was Anthony the Prince lookalike. There was also one who was similar to Vin Desil. But Anthony was the best. He gave me free cheese cake when mom told him it was my b’day (which was a month before) cause we didn’t make him sing. Same thing happened at the Lone Star on Mom’s birthday, which is right down the road from the Olive Garden. But I didn’t like that waitress, she was slow and pushy. (odd combination?)

Of course if you don’t want to wait in line for a good Italian dinner, there’s a Fazoli’s across the street and their breadsticks are to die for. Why didn’t anybody think of Fast Food Italian sooner?

Of course for long trips, like that time mom and I went to Charlotte for a Backstreet Boys concert ( YES dammit I LIKE the Backstreet Boys and will drive almost 6 hours to see them! ) and we stopped at the Cracker Barrel umm…4 times? Twice down, Twice back. Mom loves that place, I don’t know why though. But their chicken tenders are good.

I’ve been to The Olive Garden, for my father’s birthday. Nice place, and good food.

I’ve never been to a Dopefest too. I’m too young.

I had Chinese food for lunch. Actually ordered something different this time. Rather than the usual “tangerine spicy chicken” I did “dry beef fun chow”. That is the greatest name for a dish–fun chow. No chopstick thoughs. The restaurant we go to doesn’t give them out unless you specifically ask for them. But we got two, not one but two, glasses with lipstick on the rim. This place has an A rating and is usually great.

I need a vacation, maybe over Christmas break I can leave town. I love an industry that shuts downs between Christmas and New Years. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

I hate shopping. So I will actually make homemade gifts rather than have to endure that agony of going to store after store after store in search of the perfect gift. I always justify the homemade gifts by saying “it’s the thought that counts”. But I have realized I have the knack of craft so they are usually pretty decent gifts.

I forgot about the micro-Fest in Dayton (at the WPAFMuseum,) so I actually have *~14,820 miles traveled *for fests so far this year.

Oh, and if you are looking for family Italian dining, go to Bucca DeBeppo. Much better than Olive Garden.

I love my Diet Coke. Caffeine is like fuel to me.

I almost drove 12 hours one-way to go see them not launch the shuttle today.

My current best idea for a novel seems too overdone. Every other book out there is about serial killers, for god’s sake.

I was at home with my child on 9/12 – he was in the library “bringing daddy a book to read” out of a possible ~60-70 books within his reach, he picks **The Unofficial Guide to New York City **. He’s one year old.

My bra has underwires and it’s killing me.
I have indigestion caused by my dinner. I cannot tell you what I had for dinner because for some reason the last letter of the alphabet will not work on this keyboard.
Also, I really have to go to the bathroom.
Now that I have shared what’s on my mind, I will post it and hope I make it to the bathroom on time.

Pluto is the leper colony for victims of UFO abductions. Their psychic selves are transported to Pluto and all that’s left on the Earth is the mortal flesh crying out for its mind.

Earth is the low rent district of the cosmos and aliens are here in order to use us as slave labor. They have to wait until we develop the right technology, however. if they try to give it to us, then the results are unpredictable. But if they can monitor our development, then they can predict how we will use it and what the odds were of our using the technology against them. Our only hope is to blow ourselves up before we get that advanced.

I pass slowly from the pages of her mind. Perhaps I will return as some dark, invisible figure whose presence is little more than a rapid firings of nerves along her skin. A fading glow of whatever dim light I shed upon her. None of this I know for sure, it is merely idle speculation on my part. She will remain with me, however, until the world falls from me and I drift into that stark terror of darkness that surrounds this flickering candle of life. Lo, what fools we mortals be, the world, this vast chasm of life, is misspent by all. We do not rise up and bugger our oppressors. Madly, we do but crawl upon this muck, seeking not to build, only to tear down that which has been constructed. Comforted only by the quiet murmurings of madmen, we wrest this world from its orbit and topple it towards destruction. Mad monks all, why do we not seize this world and raise it upon the shoulders of Atlas? It would require no effort at all, but we chose not to do it.