Yeah So, Tell Me Something

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I went to a new place to get something to eat on the way to work this morning. I had a sesame bagel (good) with scallion cream cheese (very good).

Over the weekend I went to a car show and cruise-in with a friend of mine who works as a sales rep for Ford Motor Company. He gave me a coffee mug that says “PowerStroke Diesel” on it. I brought into work this morning and I’m still debating whether or not I should use it as a pen holder or if I should drink coffee out of it.

If I use it for coffee, I’ll have to find something to do with the pink Cadillac mug from Graceland that Sophie gave me. But I like the pink Cadillac mug. It’s the one thing that makes coming into work bearable-knowing that I can have my coffee in the mug that Sophie gave me because she likes me. Even if it didn’t have a pink Cadillac on it this mug would be cool because it’s from Sophie. The fact that it has a pink Cadillac on it is just gravy.

Now Sophie is guaranteed to find this thread if she (meaning Sophie) does a vanity search on her name, what with her name being Sophie and all. She would find it because I mentioned the name Sophie seven times.

Anyway, I like my pink Cadillac mug and the folks in my office know that that is the one mug you don’t take from the dish drainer to use because NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO DRINK OUT OF THE PINK CADILLAC MUG except me.

OK, I just decided. The PowerStroke mug goes on the desk to hold pencils and stuff. It looks cool.

22

Another way annoy people with sounds: Take a plastic cup, not a styrofoam cup or such, but a thin plastic cup - make a little hole with a pen in the buttom of it - leave the tip of the pencil in.

Now hold to cup up to the ear of your unsuspecting victim and pull the pencil tip out quickly - your victim will be treated to a loud and almost painfull SNAP sound if done correctly.

I’m sure you can damage something in the ear with this - but if you run away fast enough you yourself will be unharmed.

23

Yay! I get to be an uncle. Here anyway. Thanks for the love Icey and Snickers and of course my Puddin’. It’s all about love here, isn’t it? Yes, yes it is. That and “don’t be a jerk”, but how can you mix jerkiness with love? You can’t. Well, you can, but that would just be wrong. Love should be unsullied by jerkiness. You could argue about that, but you’d be wrong.

Michael Nesmith’s mother invented Liquid Paper. I don’t know if he’s an uncle, or his own grandpa or what.

Snickers, I think your pup has mange. Just to make your day. You know how you treat mange? By rubbing cucumbers on it. Not really, but wouldn’t that just be the way things go?

I walked into spider web today. Not a spider’s web, just the web. It was floating around when I went to get the paper. It’s called “gossamer”. The spider web, not the paper. Those lone strings of spider web that float around in the morning are called “gossamer”. So is the big, red, hairy monster on Bugs Bunny cartoons that just wears the sneakers. (Hmmm… big, hairy and just wearing sneakers… now I could say something like “Gee, sounds like a good date for Swampy”. So I will: Gee, sounds like a good date for Swampy.

Not did you me tell something lno. Fingers had I ears in, “la la la la” humming was.

Astroboy, you write books. Can you nake your next book Book? Tell me that wouldn’t be cool. Or you could call it Words. That would work too.

And Duck, I should have said “about a one pound can”. But I didn’t. You can only use a Hazelnut Coffee can if you call your shirt a “blouse”, otherwise, no.

Everyone had ugly feet Dirty. You just can’t help it. Just don’t call attention to them by wearing flip-flops that squeak and you’re Jake.

You just made up the word “dupioni”, didn’t you Lissla? Come on, you can admit it. You just wanted to see if anyone was actually paying attention. Weren’t you?

Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie Pshew! Now she’ll like me better than you Zap. And you made the right call with the mug. Good for you.

Everyone: Have a muffin.
-Rue. (of the Uncle type)

24

I found a spider in my shower this morning.

I am an only child. No natural auntness for me. Thank heavens the boyfriend has siblings. Or not, since I’m not good with the kiddies anyway.

I am a daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, girlfriend, and probably some four letter words, too, depending on who you ask. Probably won’t be a mother, though. Unless I have a change of heart.

I have to go to the post office and to Savon on my lunch break. I hope there’s not a line. (but who am I kidding? the post office always has a line)

25

–I’m looking out my office window right now, and there’s something in the road. I wonder if it’s a human head. Maybe I’ll go look.
–I wish Dom would stay one more year…
–Anybody have big plans for Canada Day? (it’s only a week away!) Not being Canadian, I have no plans.
–Has anyone else here had “nighttime paralysis?”

I woke up the other night, and as I was laying there staring at my wall, I thought I heard somebody in the room with me. I tried to roll over, but I couldn’t move! I was fully aware of my arms and legs, but I couldn’t get them to budge. I tried to speak, but couldn’t, so then I tried to yell, but-- again-- I couldn’t.

It was the freakiest thing I’ve ever experienced: being totally aware of my surroundings, with my wide eyes open, but not being able to move any part of my body.

Finally, after a few minutes of being totally freaked out, I blinked and snapped out of it. I got up, got something to drink, and went back to bed. I told my mom about this the next day, and she said she has gotten these “night fears” too.

Anybody else ever have this happen to them?
–I am an only child, but I always wanted a little sister.

Happy

26

Rue it just so happens I had a date this weekend with someone who is big, hairy and was wearing sneakers. Not just sneakers, he had on a shirt and some jeans too because we went to dinner and round these parts they just ain’t progressive enough to let people in restaurants wearing just sneakers.

I think I will try Rue’s coffee can noise maker and see if it scares off the spiders. I went home at lunch today and there were spider webs on my porch again. Dang spiders! Stay offn muh porch!

27

I’m bored.

The paint stripper that I applied to the cedar chest I’m stripping is taking forever to work.

I’m tired of packing and hauling boxes around and I want to be done with it.

I’m scared of living all alone, even though I like being all alone.

That’s about it.

28

I don’t like spiders, either.

I currently have no plans for Canada Day.

I’m also bored.

I am a daughter, cousin, niece, granddaughter, and sister. Being an aunt is years away for me, given that my brother and sister are only 20 and 19, respectively. (and not married, either… or in long-term relationships)

Happy, you can have my little sister. Warning: she does almost dead-on impersonations of Mom… very annoying. Oh yeah, she will want lots of affection and love. Think you can handle that? You changed your name? Cool with me. No, I haven’t had it, I don’t think… but have you ever had the sensation of falling, even though you’re in your bed and nowhere near the edge? Eerie, I tell ya.

Rue, I had a quarter of a muffin the other afternoon… does that count?

Speaking of people who could have been their own grandpas, Stephen Wyman (son of Rolling Stone Bill Wyman) could have been. At 53, Bill Wyman married a 19-year-old girl named Mandy Smith. (he was 47 and she was 13 when they began their relationship, with her mother’s blessing) Anyways, they were married six years later, but the marriage only lasted a year. Not long after, Bill’s 30-year-old son Stephen married Mandy’s mother, aged 46… which made Stephen a stepfather to his former stepmother. If Bill and Mandy had remained married, Stephen would have been his father’s father-in-law and his own grandpa. Weird family dynamic, don’t you think?

Right now, I’m trying to find a Tri-Peaks download on the Net. (even though I know I’ll get really frustrated with losing a bunch of money, and delete it afterwards) I installed it on my brother’s old computer, but deleted it because my brother and sister were better than me at the game.

That’s it for now. If something else comes up, I’ll let you know.
F_X

29

So my new computer came late last week.
He is an Apple G4.
It’s a good thing, because as I opened the box and pulled him out, he said “well, Hello! my name is Appy. How do you do?”
I mean, how tragic for a Dell or Sony to be called Appy. They would probably get made fun of by their computer ‘friends’.
Computers can be so cruel.
“ew. Your modum is ugly”
“haha. your mom makes you use Zip disks, you big Loser.”
“My screen is bigger than yours”.

so as I placed him on my desk, I introduced him around to his new pals.

there’s:
Screeny the monitor.
Mousey the mouse.
Wakey the Wacom Tablet.
Zippy the Disk Reader.
and
Fred the USB Connector thing. (what, you were expecting the name to be Usby? now you’re just being silly)

The all get a long really well. I heard something about them going out for pints.

spiders?
what big babies you are.

you want to see mortal fear personified as an insect?

ROACHES.

big nasty brown glossy ones.
(the mattes ones are not as scary).

my dog however, LOVES to hunt roaches.
He sees it as a great sport, but I think it is his way of getting his aggressions out.

see, there is a possum out back (here after referred to by his real name: Mortal Enemy number 1).

Dongle (my beloved Boston Terrier) runs around the yard doing his best Joe Peschi impression:

“you wanna piece of me?”

except for that one day I left the TV on all day.

then he was running around the yard impersonating James Cagney (actually, it was Bug Bunny doing James Cagney as I left it on the Cartoon channel). He also was doing that one guy with big lips (dial M for Murder?) “oh you dirty rat” he kept saying over and over again.

so now, he’s on a gangster tear.
He saw me surfing Netflix the other day and begged me to rent Scarface.

to which I replied:

NO! you are much to young for that.
and besides, you are such the mama’s boy. You don’t fool anyone with your wannabe gangster ways.

and his reply:

“if loving my mama is wrong, I don’t wanna be right”.

and melted my heart then and there.

Ribbon Candy tastes like crap.

30

I like to post in threads started by Rue. It gives me a nice feeling, even when I am a horrible threadkiller like I was in last week’s opus on manatees (and their missing clavicles). That didn’t give me a nice feeling, when I found out I killed the thread, but the posting gave me a nice feeling.

Then again, I don’t like to kill anything. Not even spiders. I like them, because they eat other things. Let the spiders do the killing for you, that’s my motto. Perhaps it isn’t the way forward, but you certainly know you’ll never be imprisoned like Homer Simpson. Sometimes, I capture the spiders under a glass and I put them outside. Sometimes, I give them a map to swampbear’s house.

swampbear was going to drive the car with me in it on that road trip that ** Fairy Chat Mom** started all those months ago. That was sad, when that thread got lost during the dark time. I was looking forward to fishing at Uncle Cecil’s.

If only we could have fished at Uncle Rue’s, that would have been great. But maybe Uncle Rue likes to keep his fish to himself. Or maybe his fish aren’t edible. I could understand why he wouldn’t let us fish there in either of these cases.

Yep, pretty happy about posting to this thread.

31

I have hiccups. I’ve had them since yesterday (on and off). I wish they would go.

I found a beetle with me in my bath today :eek: I’m not overly fond of beetles. Didn’t get rid of my hicccups though.

I’m not an only child. I’d really really like to be Auntie Nortia but I wouldn’t wish anyone to have my brother as a dad. Not yet anyway.

I am not going to let bristlesage kill this thread.

32

I dont think that can thing would work.

33

bristlesage I remember FairyChatMom’s roadtrip too! I was lookin’ forward to going to Uncle Cecil’s and drinking all his beer. <sigh> Long lost dreams.

Oh, Nortia…

BOO!!!

That cure your hiccups?

34

That happened to me only once, a long time ago. Just once. It was really interesting. Ok, it was really scary at the time, but interesting now.

I think that’s where the legend of the succubus and incubus come from. People would have nightmares about demons and wake up unable to move. They would figure that an invisible demon was pinning them down.

And according to Scientific American (The Hidden Mind special edition), when we dream the brain releases a chemical that paralyzes the bigger muscles. That way you don’t walk when you dream that you’re walking. What if you suddenly woke up and the brain didn’t stop releasing that chemical? Or if you woke up quickly and the chemical’s effect wore off slowly? You’d be awake but paralysed. I imagine that sleepwalkers have the opposite problem: they sometimes don’t produce that chemical when they’re supposed to.

WAG factor there is 25%, but that might be too low. I really want to be right about that. :slight_smile:

35

GopherGod you fool, you fool! How do you feel about the whole gravity thing? Or the Second Law of Motion? Huh? How do you feel about dem? See, those are other things that work too.

I had my Noisey Can out this evening whilst the boys were dipping in the pool. Bugged the neighbor’s dog a good one, I did. She’d be wandering about the yard, minding her own business, when BRRRERRROOOOUUUGGGGHHHH!!! and she’d look around with the “what the hell was that?” look on her doggie face. Loads of fun!

Sorry bristlesage, I try to keep on top (or on bottom, depending how you look at it) of the threads I start. Just so’s some poor slob, like you, not that you’re a slob in any way, unless you are then forget I said you weren’t, doesn’t have the soul-crushing experience of killing my threads which really never done nothin’ to no one, so why’s they gotta die, I asks ya? But it looks like I dropped the ball on that one. I’ll try to do better next time, which if you think about it is right now.

I like black rum. It’s better than the white rum, or the dark rum, which is tannish. Black rum, oh yum yum yum. (I think Bacardi calls it “Special Reserve” or something. But I don’t feel like going and checking right now.) Black rum and Coke® with ice and a bowl of oyster crackers on the side. Something salty and crunchy to go with the drink. Yeah.
-Rue.

36

Oh, Rue, swampbear, and Nortia, thanks for not letting me be a thread-killer. But, you know, god or whatever helps those that help themselves. So here I am, helping on the non-threadkilling. At least if it dies now, we did our best to keep it alive. Yeppers.

You know, I have to say that heresiarch’s theory on incubi and succubi is decent compared to all the ideas behind hiccup cures. Well, the scaring one, I could see how that might reset your diaphragm. And the breath-holding one, but has anyone ever gotten that to work?

You know what my dad swears by? A glass of water with a spoon of sugar in it, drunk through a paper napkin with a hole punched in it…from the other side of the glass. I’ve seen it in action but I still have no idea what those instructions mean. So, Nortia, I guess what I’m saying is, I’m really sorry, because you were so nice to me, and now I can’t cure your hiccups. But I hope they’re gone by now anyway.

That black rum is great. But in the summer I’m more of a gin drinker. But gin and Coke, ick.

swampbear, we were having disco music in your truck, right? I sure hope so. “Ring My Bell” is in my head right now, and it sure would be spiffy to get it out.

37

Huh. Yup. I’ll buy that. That makes total sense, heresiarch.

You, sir, are my hero of the day.

And F_X, you can keep your sis. She’s sounds too high maintenance. :slight_smile:
Happy, currently Succubus-free for three nights

38

So far as I’ve ever noticed, I’m honestly not afraid of anything.

Except for slugs. They completely wig me out.

39

Hmm… Book… You know, that has a nice ring to it!:cool:

We have a workbook coming out soon, and we had tentatively decided to call it Flies in the Ointment… but perhaps a name change is in order…

40

Dupioni. Dupioni. Dupioni. Hah. Real word. I’d do a link to fabric store websites, but I’m a computer ignoramus. It’s like silk shantung: does that help?:slight_smile: Slubby and not smooth, yet still kind of shiny. Do a google search for it.
Hm. It is almost Canada Day, isn’t it?

I almost always explain to bugs before I kill them that I have no (well, fewer) problems with them if they remain outside. However, they made a choice, and came inside, which is the wrong place for them, and unfortunately, it merits death. I’m hoping one day one of them will make a big speech about not being afraid to die. It hasn’t happened yet.