Yeah...what you say. (Odd texts or messages you've seen)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

My Bob story (not text related)

When my grandmother’s husband Bob died, everyone was at the visitation, and my grandmother asked if she could go in and see him alone.

So everyone’s waiting outside and you hear her saying, “Bob…” Not like she’s grieving but like she’s trying to wake him up! “Bob!” She says, more insistent.

Everyone’s looking at each other like oh God, Grandma’s cracking up. Should someone go in there, or…?"

Suddenly she bellows, “Bob Smith! Come here!”

Turns out the funeral director’s name was Bob.

22

I have ongoing text convos with both my current and immediately prior GF. No skullduggery there, they both know about each other and the convos. But the two convos have, unsurprisingly, very different tones.

One must be very careful before hitting [send].

23

Friend messaged a pic of himself wearing a Santa hat and Googly eyes.
“Satan Claws is maintaining an orbital viewing organ on all of the behaviorally challenged larva.”

He sees you when you’re sleeping.

24

Unfortunately, random texts these days are almost always scam come-ons. Unless they’re from someone you know, you really want to ignore them. Even ones that seem innocent, like “Are you almost home?” – that’s calculated to make you say “Oh jeez, they misdirected that and are going to be worried about whoever they meant to text to, I should be nice and respond”. Nope.

25

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for giving me the best laugh I’ve had in ages. I read this a couple of days ago and I’m still giggling over it! Honestly, thanks much!

26

This reminds me of a time many years ago when I came home from a night out incredibly wasted. I don’t usually get drunk but that night I was hammered.

When I crawled into bed next to my sleeping husband, I texted him that I had arrived safety home.

And then when his phone went off, I demanded, “Who’s texting you this late at night?”

He looked, bleary-eyed, at his phone and shot back, “You are!”

“Oh. Right.”

27

That is so you! I laughed.

28

I’m so glad other people find it as funny as i do. It’s right up there with “Carrot in a Box" for making me laugh every time i think of it.

29

The Lil’wrekker just text me “out of brig”

No she’s not been arrested.
Her theatre group have been doing Brigadoon for March.
To night was the last performance.

I laughed.

30

Or have a moment or two of fun with them.

My “odd text message” story comes from a friend who was quickly texting her grumpy and not-very-digitally-savvy mother about a bad painting by their mutual friend Dan. Unfortunately, autocorrect turned her hasty note about the art in question into, “I don’t want Dad’s farts.”

The reason I included the “grumpy and not-very-digitally-savvy” detail was because her mother assumed that the daughter had texted her that comment on purpose. She refused to believe that somehow “Dan” got turned into “Dad” and “art” into “farts.”

Instead, she excoriated her daughter for sending an obnoxious and inappropriate text message. Yeesh.

31

I order a bunch of these great custom hoodies. I like to gift them thru the company because their packaging is fun and they put extras in the boxes.

When my Son first married I had a tense early relationship with his bride.

Of course an occasion arose I needed a gift for her.

The company often offers mess-ups and mistakes at a greatly reduced price.

It is catch as catch can, you get no choices. I’ve ordered plenty with no issues, their custom designs are all pretty good.

The one she got was “go away” in big white font.

She was not amused. I didn’t know for awhile. One day I asked her did she receive my gift. It all came bubbling out.

I had to do a lot of fast talking and apologizing..we laugh about it now.