Yearning for Frugality

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Throughout my life, whenever I’d hear about lottery winners raking in 40-50 million bucks, my reaction was always : “I wouldn’t know what to do with that much money.”

Sure, I guess I’d buy a house, put a significant portion of it aside for my daughters, give some of the rest of my family. And then what ? I suppose I lack imagination.

As I grow older - I’m now in my late 40s - I realize that I’ve never been fascinated by opulence. Quite the opposite, actually. I yearn for frugality. I don’t want to live in poverty, of course but I’m slowly coming to recognize the fact that I don’t really need much, and that I’d be fine with very few material possessions.

It’s not a matter of being eco-friendly ; that’s an added benefit.
Neither is it in hope of some spiritual awakening ; that’s just new-agey nonsense.

Throughout my life, I’ve always made “desert island” lists. Among the 500 CDs that I own, which would be the 50 truly essential ones ? 20 ? 10 ? Same with my books. Same with my clothes.

After my ex-wife and I separated, I got a two-bedroom apartment so my daughters could have their own private space when they spent weekends or holidays with me. They haven’t slept here since October 2020 (long story, partly Covid-related) and my lease is soon coming to an end. I’ll see them in a few days and I’d really like to ask them whether they still want to sleep here from time to time or whether they’d rather just come and visit for a few hours every two weeks, as they’ve done for the past months. They’re 13 and 16, old enough to have a say. If they don’t intend to spend nights here anymore, there’s no way I’ll renew the lease. I’ll get something much smaller. Sometimes, I wonder whether I’d need more than a big room. A small kitchen with a sink in a corner, a shower in another. A bed, a table and some chairs, a cupboard for my clothes and I guess (luxury !) a washing machine. Sure, something slightly bigger, with a separate bathroom for example, would be nice. Actually, my very first apartment was like that : a kitchen in the entry hall, a bathroom immediately to the right then, ahead, a living-room/bedroom.

But really, perhaps just a big room would suffice…

2

There are plenty of ways to spend money. A lot of people spend it on their living space, but it’s not required.

There’s no reason you couldn’t be a multi-millionaire living in a studio apartment while, I dunno, funding various projects and charities. It would be an unusual choice, but there’s no real obstacle to that lifestyle if you decided to pursue it.

3

I think I get what you mean, although I would call it a yearning to simplify. And I was born frugal. :slight_smile:
I’ve never lived alone, but I like to imagine that if I did, I’d have one fork, one spoon, one cup…you get the picture.

4

I understand your mindset. If I won the lottery, I’d still clip coupons and shop for meat with the orange “Reduced” stickers.

Keep an available bedroom for your daughters. They are both at a very volatile age, and you could very well get a phone call in the middle of the night where one of them sobs she can’t stand it there a moment longer.

That bedroom is a place of refuge, and just knowing it is available could ease the inevitable tensions that arise.

Admit it: you’d much rather have your kid with you than couch surfing at somebody’s house, or worse yet, having CPS getting involved.

Keep clipping coupons, get the last dab out of the peanut butter jar, and shop end-of-season sales for your clothes. But hang on to that second bedroom for your daughters.

~VOW

5

My son lives in Florida. My daughter was living in Virginia. Our home is huge, with three bedrooms and three bathrooms. I thought it was too big.

Then my son suddenly missed me and wanted to come visit. I bought his plane ticket and he was here later that day! My daughter and her fiancé decided to move back to Pennsylvania, but timing was an issue. She ended up “visiting” with us for 6 months.

They were the best of times. I’m so glad I was able to have them come and stay with us. Just a thought.

6

I could easily see me hiring a valet. It would be nice to have a fresh bar of soap awaiting me in my shower every morning.

If we were at a restaurant enjoying a meal and a few drinks I’d love to be able to make everyone’s day by giving the owner enough cash to pay every tab, along with a 100% gratuity,

7

This mother and grandmother seconds this

8

My tastes are simple, and my needs are not great. If I came into serious eff you money, I’d spend relatively little on myself, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t spend a lot on worthy causes making my community and the world around me a better place.

9

I don’t think I’d actually buy anything. I’d stay in upscale hotels and resorts and order room service or eat a nice places. Rent cars, charter boats and RV it. Buying stuff just ties you down, If I had the money I’d want freedom to just pick up and go. Not even sure I’d do laundry except that it would get boring to keep shopping for cloths.

10

This is akin to the Tiny house revolution .
I could live in a Tiny house but not with another person or dogs. Especially not cats.

I have a huge house. Filled with my many collections. Pets and family.
Family says I’m a hoarder. A neat and tidy one, but still. I have Hugh gallon jars filled with, get this, little bottles and jars. Yeah, I have a problem.:face_with_peeking_eye:
Don’t judge me please.

Mainly I need peace and quiet. I can sit in the woods and accomplish that.

11

I’m not frugal at all, but I need my space. The house for my wife and I has to be big enough. Not huge by any means.

As far as my own personal stuff, I don’t want or need anything but simple cloths (jeans and a fleece top) and a dependable car. I drive my cars into the ground.

We are definitely doing fine money wise. I could buy a boat or something if I wanted too, but don’t want to. I don’t want more stuff to take care of. I’m too busy as it is.

I did rent 100 sq. ft. of office space close to my 93 year old mothers house. I need to spend more time closer to her at least a few days a week. No way I could work at her house. I’ll sleep their one or two nights a week though. Not sure how that’s going to work out, I don’t move into that office for a month. Work is fine with it. I’ll have my office in the mountains, and one in Denver.

My Wife and I play chess or cribbage for entertainment.

12

If the worst that can be said is “cluttered and perhaps dusty”, nothing is threatening the health and safety of others, and your kitchen and bathroom are acceptably clean then it’s nobody’s business. Says the gal who started the De-Clutter and Clean-Up Support Thread.. If it’s not a health or safety hazard and makes you happy more power to you.

13

It may not go this way, but your daughters may be on the cusp of an age where it might be good for them to have an easily accessible refuge from their mother, even if they don’t right now plan to or foresee the need.

They also might not say something directly but will emotionally feel a loss that harms your relationships if you downsize.

Or maybe not. But it’s something to keep in mind.

14

I’ve always yearned for opulence, but not about luxury cars, clothing, etc. Rather I want to do huge projects. Start a new sports team, film movies (I’ve even written the scripts,) start a new media for objective news, start various charity groups, prison ministries, etc.

15

Heh. I’m 61. One of the reasons I rented office space is so that I have accessible refuge from my mother. My space, yet can be at her house in 10 minutes instead of 2 hours.

I can work anytime 24/7. And this office space will be open to me 24/7.

16

This. It is important that they know they have a bolt-hole should they need one. Especially as they aren’t legally adults yet. And I’d keep it for the first few years of their adulthood as a just in case.

My thought is that if you ask them and they agree they don’t need it, they might find themselves desperately needing it if Mom dies, if they attract a stalker, if they break up with a problem boyfriend, etc. When I first moved out of my parent’s home, I didn’t think I would need to move back. But then I totaled my car and ran out of my tuition savings at the same time (I worked my way through college). Suddenly, I needed shelter I couldn’t afford and my parents needed someone to look after the house and Grandma’s issues while they went on a retirement trip. I so appreciated being able to go home again.

17

I wouldn’t ask lest they feel pressured to give up overnights. (If anyone knows that a parent is frugal, it’s their teenage kids.)

I would recommend downsizing to a one-bedroom. When they visit, give them the bedroom and have a sleeper sofa or a daybed in the living room. A one-bedroom in my building would be perfect. The living room is smaller than my studio and the bedroom is huge.

18

@Moonrise, I hear and empathise, but I keep the ol’ 3 room shack cause now I got Grandkids I keep hoping to have a visit from(arglebargle kids gotta move far away dagmuppit!). Otherwise, yeah, simplification and getting rid of a lot of dust catchers has strong appeal.

19

It’s not how much room you have, but how you use it. We have five bedrooms - one for us, one each for the kids, and an office for my wife and for me. If I got $40 million I might move, but only because I could pay someone to do all the dirty work. But maybe not, since we live in a great neighborhood.
Now if I could buy an extra 8 hours a day, then we’d be talking.

20

Yeah, it’s funny. I was a broke (privileged) ski bum for at least a decade. Now I’m about to turn 55 and I honestly don’t know what to do with our money other than charity. I’m arthritic, so a lot of the adventure travel is problematic, although possible. The pandemic has made international travel significantly less appealing, and the climate impacts are more apparent as the years go on. We have a lovely home with lots of recreation around, and that’s where we hang. Maybe go out to eat every 2 weeks.