OK - DSL Installation is complete - I am now doping on a big, fat, DSL pipe!
The Saga:
I searched online for information about DSL in my area and discovered that SWBell was the answer. I checked their website and discovered that I was not eligible for DSL.
I proceeded to do that every week for 6 weeks until the day arrived that I was!
Things went smoothly for a while - they took my information over the web, then called me to verify a few days later. Then I got both email and snail mail announcing that my install date was set as June 1st.
10 days before the day, a package arrived containing a DSL Modem and other stuff. I looked at it, played with it, dreamt of it.
Then I got the email. Some uy (named Shayne) from SWBell’s office in Texas tells me that, no, sorry, we can’t really give you DSL. Have a nice day.
I wrote back asking why and he never answered.
The very next day was May 31st, the day before install. So, I called the 800 number (waited on hold, a recurring theme) and they sais everything was fine. Screw Shayne. The techs came out and hooked everything up.
Great! Except that it didn’t work. 
So I called complained, bitched, called back, re-opened trouble tickets, listened to contradictions, yelled at people, sat on hold, waited some more… all told, in the last three days I clocked over 7 hours on hold.
But today is the payoff. The goddam thing works!
Look… it’s a hassle, but pages load bitchin fast… 'nuff said.
This is how god intended the web to work.
???