Ya beat me to it. British satirical mag Private Eye runs a column of “Colemanballs” every week. There’s never a shortage of stupid statements. Personally, I miss Murray Walker.
Don’t forget Murray Walker
“He’s obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can’t see it”
“With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go”
“Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna’s Lotus sounding rough ?”
“Anything happens in Grand Prix racing and it usually does”
“And now excuse me while I interrupt myself…”
“Martin Schanche’s car is absolutely unique except for the one behind, which is identical.”
“Unless I’m very much mistaken… yes, I AM very much mistaken.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the car except it’s on fire.”
“I imagine the conditions in those cars are totally unimaginable.”
Many years a go, a local newscaster, Denise Dufala mentioned “Reagan, in the third month of his pregnancy” instead of Presidency…
We also have my favourite:
“The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey” - Brian Johnston (BBC)
A long time ago I was watching some motorcycle racing and there was a Painfully New Sportscaster doing interviews after the heats.
During the final race the leader had some obvious mechanical difficulties as he was reaching down to the foot shifter and trying despertaly to get his bike to shift gears. He lost.
PNS So you had some mechanical problems during that race?
Racer Yes we changed to a different second gear to get (techinal jargon bla bla bla) and then during the race I couldn’t shift.
PNS So how did that affect your racing style?
Racer (very frustrated) I slowed down.
This goes back twenty years, but I once heard a local evening-news desk drone say somebody had been arrested for being “drunk while intoxicated.”
I swear, the way they write the laws these days, they get you coming and going…
Poor fella. Here’s someone who can relate.
I thought he was just for those of us who don’t like television.
Those kinky English:
“Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.”
-Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977
No sexual connotations here, just really stupid sounding. Said by an announcer last night during a hockey game:
“He really knows where the net is.”
As opposed to all those other bumbling hockey players that are aiming for the bench, the refs, the fans, and other players hoping to score a goal. This guy knows where the net is.
In the post-game show after the Dodgers won the 1977 NL playoff, Jerry Doggett was interviewing Tommy John, the winning pitcher; TJ, who, like many athletes, peppered his speech with “you know”, said at one point, about getting the signals for the pitches right, “I couldn’t hear [catcher Steve] Yeager’s fingers…” to his credit, TJ almost instantly reacted to his own goof. 
Years ago I was home sick from school, and for whatever reason, was watching Oprah Winfrey with my mother. Her guest at the time was Dick Clark, and they were talking about his New Year’s Eve programming. You know, the Times Square ball drop and such.
Oprah was waxing melodramatic about how wonderful the show is, because whenever she had been home alone and lonely on New Year’s Eve, all she and every other lonely single woman out there had to do was watch TV. Of course, that’s not quite how it came out. She used the phrase, “reach out and turn Dick on.”
Both Dick Clark and the audience erupted in laughter, and Oprah was completely lost. About ten seconds later, the laughter died down. But then she finally understood her little mistake, and spent the rest of of the show laughing about it.
My father swears this is true, and he’s a truthful sort, but I’m not prepared to promise I believe him.
He was once lecturing at a high school where a prominent family was the Urans. (The daughter, he claims, had recently been named “Miss Carriage” because of her excellent posture.) A son, Bernard, was a basketball star. This led to the announcer reporting at one point:
“Bernie Uran is dribbling down the floor.”
Allen Pinkett, of Westwood One radio, recently apologized for saying that a player who fell down looked like he had been shot by a sniper. See the details here.