Yep, they actually said that

In a sort of “offshoot” of this thread:, I thought we’d start a little archive here of things you’ve actually heard newscasters, and most importantly sportscasters say. My husband and I usually keep a notebook every football season with ‘stupid Mike Ditka and John Madden quotes’, but it got so full we couldn’t lift it. So let’s just archive some stuff here:

“Take that black guy!” - Commentator Jerry Glanville said this referring to a Charger hitting an Oakland Raider, who was wearing black.

“When he goes right in the pile like that, that’s called a Fudge Packer!” - Joe Theisman. When he was met with an uncomfortable silence he finished with: “Well it IS!”

and from two weeks ago on Sunday Night Football, the great Joe Theisman again, when arguing a lateral vs. a forward pass:

“Well, I’m still not sure that he takes it from behind.”
OK, now YOU play.

Well, it was a news readerette up in Charleston, SC, not a sportcaster, that said the stupidest thing I’d ever heard.

They had just done a story on a very bad windstorm, and News Readerette seques into a story on junk mail by saying, “Well, the wind is whipping up a tizzy outside, and junk mail is whipping up a tizzy in your mailbox.”

I actually shook my head to clear out my ears. I couldn’t believe she’d done such a horrible seque.

Man, Joe Theisman quotes are the best. He once said, “No one who plays football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

Not a sportscaster, but:

Said by the late Jerry Dunphy on the local ABC affiliate (channel 7 in L.A.) back in the early-1980s: “A man was shot to death seven times…”

This was in a Phil Mushnick column in the New York Post:

There is the recent case of the local female newscaster in (I think, Oregon) who, when segue-ing to the weather report, commented of the weatherman’s incorrect prediction regarding snow, “So, Jim, where was that nine inches you promised me last night?”

Just today I heard a reporter in Washington D.C. refer to the the latest in the wave of sniper attacks as “Another day, another shooting.”

She wasn’t TRYING to be sarcastic, but she could have turned a different phrase.

I was watching a tv special a few years ago where famous gymnasts combined their movements with dance and music. Between numbers, one male gymnast made a few remarks. Among them was something like, “If you’re an accountant or a teacher, then after college there’s a place for you. But for gymnasts, there isn’t anything. That’s sad. We have to do something about this.” :rolleyes: He went on in this vein for a full minute.

When Michael Jordan returned to the Bulls after unsuccessfully trying baseball, I heard someone on the radio say something like, “He’s come back to us. You know, that’s real loyalty.” Call me crazy, but I would think that if he were so freaking loyal, he wouldn’t have left in the first place!

On the same broadcast I heard an announcer say, “Christians have been waiting for their saviour for almost 2000 years. The Bulls only had to wait x months!” Geez, could you try to be more pompous?

When Bob Costas was a youngin’ doing PBP for the old St. Louis Spirits in the ABA, he did this opening.

The Spirits had blown a fourth quarter lead in their last game. In the opening, he asked, “How will the Spirits respond after last Friday’s blow job?”

A newscaster on Detroit news had this happen:

There was a story about about a small company that manufactures chocolate gorillas for people to buy. It was a simple human interest story.

When they cut to her, she said, “Well, I guess we now know where chocolate men come from.”

She was white. Most people in Detroit are black. Some people took this as a racial slur(gorillas turning into black people), even though she only meant general evolution of gorillas into general humans.

Sadly, she was fired. People protested, but the network did not bring her back.

Australian football commentator and former player, Rex Mossop:

It was none other than Dan Rather commenting about a world record made by a black woman from England, “She is the first African American women from England to hold this world record.”

On ABC World News Now, an overnight news program, the business reporter had an unfortunate spoonerism “Nasdaq” became “Nad-sack”…

A couple of decades ago, I had the television news (Pocatello, Idaho) on while I was fiddling around in the house. A reporter was standing in the sagebrush - I don’t know what the story was - but she stopped me cold in my tracks with “Never in the anals of mankind…”

I still remember the greatest one of all time.

As a black man makes a fantastic run for a touchdown, Howard Cosell exclaims “Look at that monkey run!”

After the break he explained that he meant it as a compliment.

50% of anything John Madden ever said…

How 'bout the TV football reporter who in a post-game interview asked of the DB who’d scooped up a fumble and run for a touchdown, “Were you aware at the time that this was your first-ever NFL touchdown?”

You asked for it

I’d love to see any of them go head to head with a fifth grader in a spelling bee.
“Spell: the name of your atheletic affiliation.”
“Guh!?”

This isn’t a sportscaster but is a newspaper headline and it isn’t a boner. In fact I have a feeling it was done deliberately.

In the 1934 World Series the Detroit Tiger infielders complained that Dizzy Dean came into second base standing up on a double play ball, thus interfering with a fielder making a play.

In a later game Dean did the same thing and Bill Rogell, the Tiger shortstop who wasn’t inclined to take any **** from anybody, hit him right in the forehead with his throw to first base. Dean was knocked out and taken to the hospital for examination for a possible skill fracture. A next day’s Detroit paper headlined the story, “Dean’s head X-rayed - Nothing found.”

I’m shocked that no one has mentioned David Coleman yet:

“And here’s Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago”

“Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs”

“And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand”

“There’s going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes.”

“There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people”

“She’s not Ben Johnson - but then who is?”