Yes. I would like some cheese with my whine.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve yet to start a thread just to complain about my otherwise silly and mundane little life, but G-d, now I need to, and I think we’re all allowed one. Right?

To any extent, it’s 9:30 on a Monday morning and I’ve been here at work for what seems like 12 hours. Even though I’ve only been here for 3. My head and body feel as if they are at war with one another, and right now it seems that my body has pushed the frontline up to my sinuses and is putting heavy pressure on my brain right above my eyes. It’s laid down a solid line of cover fire, and the napalm it seems to be using on my eyes, is leaking out of every orifice on my face in the form of snot, tears, and spit. Blech.

That’s just a little background to give you an idea of the mood I’m in. Sorry if it’s TMI.

I’ll try to keep this short. My SO currently lives in NYC, and I’m in Alabama. We’ve had a hard time with the whole long-distance thing, but so far we’ve managed. Until now. She works in retail and it seems that the pressure of the holiday season is making it very hard for her to have any time for a long-distance relationship, or so she tells me. She also tells me that she’s met this guy, (isn’t that always the way?), that makes her very happy and is also, always there for her. So she tells me that she wants to put our relationship on hold and see how things go with this guy. Yep, that’s what she said. Obviously, I was distraught. I feel as if I’ve been cheated on. In an effort to be as much of a geek as I can, I’ll give you a line from Oklahoma! which sums up my stance on relationships, “With me, it’s all or nothing.“ I don’t have the time or energy either to be left hanging on, while she goes catting around with some other guy. So, to put it simply, we’re breaking up.

I really like my SO, and I’ll even go as far as saying that I’m in love with her. She’s a great girl, or so I thought. But I can’t wait around for someone who can’t commit to a relationship. Even though I know it’s a hard thing to do, and maybe I’m asking too much. This isn’t what I expected her to do. I know it’s not all her fault. It ‘is’ hard for me to be there, when “there” is 2000 miles away. And since I’m always working, I’m not able to give her all the time she needs, but I thought we were beyond that, and I thought we understood that. Apparently not.

So, I’m depressed. My relationship, though not “extremely” serious, but serious enough, has fallen apart. I’m sick as a dog. Work is going terribly. (I should be working right now, but I’m damned tired, so they can give me a 15 minute break.)

And to top it all off, I’m lonely. I’ve felt terribly alone ever since my wife left me a year ago. (She ran off with some other guy (and girl, and now a new guy) and stole half my money, took me to court and got the other half, and left me with absolutely nothing. And now, I’m just lonely.

What’s so wrong with me that I keep getting left for some other guy/girl? I know I’m kinda ugly, and I may not be the coolest guy in the world (read: geek). I know I’m not the most “sexually gifted” individual. But I’m clean, and I’m honest, and I try really hard to be the nice guy that I am. I have some semblance of intelligence. So why am I always getting left behind to clean up, pick up the pieces and move on alone?

Okay, I’m done. I’m sorry for the long post, but I just had to get some things off my chest, before I lost it.

I’m ‘bout ready to just give up on the whole damn thing. :frowning:

2

Simetra! You can’t give up on the whole thing cuz I personally won’t let you! Feel better, physically and emotionally.

::hands you a Band-Aid:: I wish this could help…

3

I have nothing of substance to offer you - no pithy sayings or sappy observations or unsolicited advice.
But I’m really sorry your life has taken such a crummy turn. And if I WAS the type of person to be sappy, I’d start singing “The sun’ll come out tomorrow…” Fortunately for all who may read this, I’m classier than that!
Hang in there, Simetra…

4

Simetra, I don’t know if this is my place or not, but I’d like to throw a little advice at you. As always on the board, take it with a grain of salt, but know that it does come from an independant party.

Tell your SO EXACTLY how you feel. You say that “With me, it’s all or nothing.” So go all or nothing. If you feel you might be in love with her, does she know this? Does she know that your relationship is, as you view it, “serious enough”? If not, tell her. You also say that you can’t wait around for someone who can’t commit to a relationship. You didn’t say anything to the effect, but have you told her how committed YOU are?

In my last relationship, I took a lot of things for granted, and thought that she just knew my feelings and my intentions. I was dead wrong. Until you have explicitly said so (which you may well have done, but not mentioned), she will not explicitly know. Women’s intuition only goes so far.

But in other news, personally I’ve been in a relationship that ended right before the holidays. It sucks, I’ve been there. But you just have to keep on keepin’ on, and take pride in who you are. There are plenty of people out there who respect the type of person you are. Many of them are here on this board.

5

Stephen,

Sorry Bro, If I wasn’t on the whole other end of the country, We’d go out and hoist a few, do some male-bonding stuff, and trade stories about what bitches our ex-wives were, and dis all the women in our pasts who done us wrong.
But we can’t, dammit. I can tell you that there are good women out there. Hell, there’s some damn fine women in here! Hang tough brother, many of us have been down this same road. We’re here if you need to talk.

Take care,
Barry

6

Well, I thought I’d check to see if anyone replied, and lo and behold, someone did.

Rasa. You’re such a sweet girl. Thank you. ::puts the band-aid with his collection:: I’ve still got too much to do to give up. That’s just how I feel.

ChatMom. Thanks. Especially for not getting all sappy. :wink:

Connor, I appreciate the advice. However, I’ve been known to wear my heart on my sleeve, and she really does know exactly how I feel. After the 5 hours we spent arguing/talking/debating on the phone last night, not to mention all the time we’ve spent together and talking, I “hope” she knows how I feel. She says it’s just too much for her to handle. At least she did say she was sorry it worked out this way.

Not much consolation unfortunately.

To any extent, I actually do feel a “little” better knowing that there are so many great people on these boards. Thanks again. This just really sucks. :frowning:

7

Simetra, darling, don’t even think that! I’ve seen the picture on your homepage, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re nothing short of adorable. Oh, and if it counts for anything, I think you’re wicked cool. :slight_smile:

When you get a chance, try drinking a big ole mug of tea. It does wonders for sniffles caused by colds and broken hearts. If you need to talk, e-mail me (the address is in my profile).

(((((Simetra)))))

8

Hmm, Sim… not only do I think you’re a total sweetie just from the boards, I see you post in another thread that you’re 6’5 and skinny… [sub]did I mention my tall skinny fetish?[/sub]

So, how YOU doin? :smiley:

Hee, sorry. If I wasn’t so taken with a certain other Doper you’d be fighting me off with a stick!

9

If only I were that lucky. :wink:

I couldn’t bear to take you away from the Scratchmeister tho’.

10

Don’t be so sure, Sim. I tend to be a force of nature unto myself. :wink: But I so appreciate the sentiment.

oldscratch and I will pick you up on our way to California from Rhode Island…

11

Sim, I know it sucks to be where you are. I will throw this in: your SO isn’t near as feeling toward you as you are toward her. I know that sounds harsh, but from your post, you are in love with her, and she’s ready to try out some other guy. Does that sound like she’s in love with you? not to me. Write her off.

12

I know I don’t really know you and I’m fairly new to the boards and all, but when I read ths thread I knew I had to respond.
Now, first off, all wmen are not this bad, trust me. There are just a certain few that make the rest of us look bad. And it seems that you’ve had the great honor of meeting those few. (I’ve had the exact same honor with guys.)
Being burned sucks, of course, but life does go on, right? And that’s something!
::insert sappy quote about “life being a journey” or something… I’m too tired to think of it right now::

As for the cold (I have a nasty one myself, bt I lost my voice right before a choral concert :rolleyes: ) tea IS very good. A nice chamomile or a light green tea with honey… or mint/peppermint. (I’m a tea addict :wink: )

Good luck! Hope you feel better!!!

13

Hey Simetra,

I’m in Montgomery too. If you need a sounding board, email me and we’ll go have a beer or three. Believe me, I can sympathize with losing long-distance relationships. I’m sorry, man.

14

Serendipity It definately counts. I think you’re pretty schway yourself. I love your name too. Thanks.

Rasa If you become famous out in Cali, I’ll put you on my laminated list. :wink: Oh heck, you can be on it either way.

drpepper I wish it was that easy.

Deiket. I haven’t lost my faith yet, and I really don’t think I will. Just a little jaded right now, hopefully this feeling will pass. BTW- I’ve got the chamomille and honey flowing like water over here. I’m a tea addict too. Thanks.

Ogre Really? Do you ever go to Bumpers? I’m there every now and again. Maybe we can get together and knock back a few, and play some pool. Shoot me an email sometime. Lord knows I need to get out more.
Thanks again all for being so supportive and kind. I really do appreciate all the advice and warm thoughts. It warms my heart, if only for a moment, to hear it. Just can’t shake this loser feeling. Oh well. Back to work. Pbbttthh.

15

Ok Sim and Deiket, you were both mad cool in my book till I realized you defile your chamomile tea with SWEETENERS!

::shudder:: Heathens!

:smiley:

16

Well, I’m past my limit. What’s the punishment?

Sim, you’re not ugly. By any definition of the word. Then again ugly, to me, means something more than just physical description. All that aside, I think you’re cute as hell! :slight_smile: Don’t give up on anything that’s important to you. That’s about the best advice I can offer. Good luck with stuff.

17

Are you ready for more sympathy? My condolences on your SO, but if she’s so ready to throw over a great(sounding) guy like you she’s the loser in this deal. Which isn’t MUCH condolence, I know, but still true. Meanwhile, I, too, know how it feels. My last boyfriend told me over the phone “I’ll call you” – this just after Thanksgiving. By Valentine’s day, and still no word, I wised up and gave up. A couple months after that I met the geeky-looking guy who stole my heart and became my husband this June. So don’t give up completely, it WILL happen when you least expect it.

Meanwhile, feel free to mourn – the ending of ANYTHING is a wrench to the system. As to the cold, hot tea and chicken soup, a good movie on the VCR, wrap in a blanket and a long nap are my favorite remedy.

Wish I lived down your way, I’d offer my shoulder for crying on, but since I’m up in Washington State, I’ll just have to do this long distance. I’ll keep a good thought for you. My best!

18

Simetra,

Yes, I go to Bumper’s occasionally. More often, I’m at Fox & Hound though. I used to be good friends with one of the bartenders over at Bumper’s, but she moved to Japan. Tall redhead. Remember her?

19

Simetra, honey!

I don’t have any wise advice, but I know you somewhat, and I think you are a totally sweetheart. You deserve to be happy. Maybe this long distance relationship just wasn’t meant to be what will do that?

I know that doesn’t help, and I am sorry. But lots of people here care about you, if that helps at all.

((((((((((Simetra))))))))))))

Scotti

20

Simetra, I too have had a horrible head cold and a heartbreak at the holiday season. It sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. The big one. A lot. For a long time. The physical illness and the emotional upset feed each other, which makes both of them seem like they will just never go away.

My recommendation? Wait until your cold gets better before you go out drinking & dissing. It’s much easier to dis someone when your thought processes aren’t swimming in a pool of phlegm. :smiley: