That only gets on my nerves when it’s my lane and my empty spot they switch into as I’m approaching. That’s my spot, dangit!
I’m an asshole driver with a massive Dodge pickup and I’d like to make it known that your generalizations aren’t appreciated. Sometimes I drive my wife’s Volvo when my truck is in the shop.
This happened to me once. I was 19 or 20, driving home from work. I was approaching a light where there’s always a big backup to turn left - usually 3 or 4 light cycles. So being 19 or 20, and therefore a jerk, I would often cruise up in the lane next to the left turn lane, and try to squeeze myself into an opening so I didn’t have to wait 4 light cycles.
One day doing this I pulled in front of a white panel van. I pretty much cut the guy off - the space wasn’t very big. Turned out it was a radio station van that they used for appearances, and had a public address system mounted on it. The guy spent the next 3 miles on my bumper cursing and taunting me. Finally I just started doing laps in a shopping center parking lot until he got bored and left. I was pretty scared at the time, but looking back I have to laugh.
I got a couple.
A few weeks ago I was driving down MLK Blvd, making a lane change near a light. All of a sudden I hear this THUMP and I panic - did I hit someone? Turns out some asshole in town for the Republic of Texas rally was sitting in my blind spot, and as I made the change he decided to kick my car rather than, you know, brake so he could avoid the issue altogether.
At the light I lost semblance of the fact that I am a professor and representative of the university right across from campus and cussed the piece of shit motherfucker out. I was very tempted for a second to throw the gallon jug of water at his stupid ass. Look, you were in my blind spot, and I wouldn’t have had a major issue with you flipping the bird. But that’s why you don’t ride there.
I called 311 and let the cops know. Doubt that anything happened to that asshole, but I have his plates and a buddy at the DPS just in case. The car was not dented.
How about a parking one? The university parking situation sucks donkey balls. I happened to be driving up this a.m. and I saw a flock of freshman-looking kids heading towards a minivan. Great, says I, I scored a spot near the office! So I put my blinkers on and wait patiently for a minute. They’re all in the car… some hijinks going on in the back… driver has his foot on the brake… fiddling with the GPS… Meantime, the single-track lane is starting to back up with other cars and cabs, about 7 different vehicles. So at this point, I need to get the driver’s attention. I inch up with the intention of saying “Are you coming out?” but as I do this idiot driver behind me creeps up as well. Where the fuck do you think I’m going, which my signal still on?
Jackass in the parking space seems to snap out of it and the van moves. I start backing up slowly, as idiot behind me is honking. Fucker, I see you there. I have no idea why you decided to creep up on me when it was obvious I’m about to parallel park, but you need to back your dumb ass up. He does, and I park in about two seconds flat. (Boston parallel parking skills still in effect.)
Christ. If you’re one of these assholes who parks in highly congested areas and takes your sweet time getting the fuck out of the spot once you’re in the car, I hate you. Here’s hoping you step barefoot in a fireant mound. Don’t you realize that people want your spot, and taking more than two minutes to get your jackass jokes told and fuck with your GPS can be done somewhere else? People are so fucking inconsiderate at times.
Indeed, it’s like having a good spaniel on a pheasant hunt Flush 'em out, boy!
So was your route straight ahead, or turning right?
All honors to you, Broomstick, because you always make the posts in the aviation threads before I have to…
And thanks for the metaphor Earthworm Jim. Every time I think I’m driving too fast through Camp Pendleton some jit goes by me to flush 'em out.
The jackass behind you was attempting to intimidate you into moving on so HE could get the parking spot. You’d be surpised at how often that sort of intimidation tactic can be effective, particularly when it’s little old ladies who are being bullied although it can be done to any driver who lacks confidence.
Re-read the OP - it was two separate occasions, and when I turned my turn signal on I was about to go left, not right. Miss Bitch wanted me to turn right so she could follow with her right turn.

The jackass behind you was attempting to intimidate you into moving on so HE could get the parking spot. You’d be surpised at how often that sort of intimidation tactic can be effective, particularly when it’s little old ladies who are being bullied although it can be done to any driver who lacks confidence.
I don’t think so. He just looked like a typical science nerd paying more attention to the cloud formations overhead than what was happening in front of him. In fact, he picked up a young lady on the corner right before the parking spot - I’m pretty sure he was leaving campus.
I’m impervious to driver intimidation. I spent seven years dealing with Massholes in Boston.

Re-read the OP - it was two separate occasions, and when I turned my turn signal on I was about to go left, not right. Miss Bitch wanted me to turn right so she could follow with her right turn.
As always, Witch-ya all the way you demi-Goddess.