Yes! We Have No Tortillas

This week’s is a story of disappointment, determination, ingenuity and pluck. Maybe you’ll learn a lesson you can keep with you for the rest of your life.

Probably you won’t.

Picture it: dinnertime, not that long ago. I had a hankering for burritos. They just sounded good. And we had some taco meat left over from a couple of nights ago. The meat only takes a few minutes to heat up thanks to that miracle of technology, the microwave. And we had some lettuce to chop up, some tomatoes already chopped up, shredded cheddar cheese (it was cheaper to buy the shredded stuff last time I went grocery shopping than to buy a big block of cheese and shred it myself- go fig) and the jar of taco sauce. So I was set. I even had some black olives, which no one else likes, so they would be Special Burritos. I didn’t have any sour cream though. I never have any sour cream. Like the black olives, no one like it but me, so even if I remember to pick some up, it just sits there and rots. So I don’t get sour cream unless I’m making something that takes it. So, no sour cream.

Now the table is set, the taco meat was hot, the lettuce was chopped, the tomatoes and cheese were ready to go, the taco sauce was all shaken up and I even had my olives. Now all I needed was to get out the tortillas and heat them up. I even had the griddle hot. All I needed was the tortillas. The tortillas. Hello, tortillas? Where are the tortillas?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We’re OUT of tortillas!

Had I known this before I started, I would have had something else for dinner. Maybe a Spam sandwich, maybe fish sticks, maybe toasted frozen waffles. I could have had anything else. But now I have all the fixins for burritos and no tortillas. The shame! The horror!

But we had hot dog buns.

So I made little Mexican Sandwiches on the hot dog buns.

They were good enough.
-Rue.

My little Spanish granny used to make tortillas from scratch every day. How hard could it be? Just because she could conjure them up with a skillet, a magic wand and a rolling pin…

What is this “taco sauce” of which you speak?

I think it’s what the northerners call salsa. :slight_smile:

Or hot sauce for that matter. I hit the submit a tad early.

My folks arrived back from Los Angeles this weekend bearing loads of tortillas. I’m hoping that they’re destined to become tacos quite soon.

On a totally side note, there are two Skyline Chili parlours within about ten miles of my home in Florida. I just can’t escape the Cincinnati thing. Although last night’s dinner was she-crab soup and jerk grouper sandwich.

Aw, poor Rue. I just can’t see hot dog buns bein’ quite the same as tortillas. I made chicken fajita’s last weekend so I have some tortillas left over, as well as some sour cream and salsa. Just say the word and I’ll mail em to ya.

Yesterday I made a nice pork roast on the rotisserary on the barbacue. I sprinkled it real good with McCormacks new garlic-pepper-spice grinder and let it spin around till it was nice and golden like Swampy and it was juicy as all get out. We had some nice fresh “les haricots vert” (or green beans to the low brows) that went swell with it. It was a good.

Tupug…of the full tummy

If I’d been there, I’d have been fighting you for the sour cream and black olives. They’re good on burritos. Yum-my!
I love sour cream on just about anything. Black olives are good in small doses, like in burritos and on Greek salads.

Green olives, however, are just disgusting.

Sometimes when I make spaghetti, I make garlic bread on hot dog buns. Break them in half, spread them with butter, sprinkle on some garlic powder and parmesan cheese (the real stuff, not that powdered crap that comes in a can), and toast in the oven for a few minutes.

Keep a supply of pita bread for such emergencies. They’re hard to roll up, but the pocket part works wonders. Put the sauce in last, though: I found they get really soggy really fast. Lettuce on the bottom is a nice buffer, then the meat and cheese and all the fixins on top of that. Just like mini soft tacos, but you don’t have to worry about stuff glooping and splurting out of the opposite end (at least of the pita/taco). Only once have I had stuff fall out of the bottom.

And you and I can split a can of olives. You can have the sour cream, though (not a fan of sour cream after eating a bad batch years ago, so bad I can still retch at the though of it!).

You poor, sick, sad, deluded soul.

When it comes to burritos nothing other than a burrito is “good enough.” Though a taco might come in a close second.

Now I’m hungry.

It was more hot sauce-y. Not chunky like salsa, but more tomato-y than just hot sauce. It comes in a jar and says “taco sauce”.

Maybe making tortillas isn’t so hard, even the slow and stupid way (from scratch), Eats_Crayons. But I didn’t have a little Spanish granny. My granny made knepfli (it’s like spaetzle). A knepfli burrito wouldn’t be so much of the goodness.

I think you made the right call there Shibb. Even if that makes me a traitor to my hometown, the jerked grouper sounds good.

Thanks for the thought Puggy, but that crisis has past. But I appreciate the offer.

If I can’t keep tortillas around screech, what are the odds I’ll have pitas when I need them? The bread kind anyway. What with the boys, I always have PITAs whether I need them or not.

Saturday evening, VunderWife and I had a hankerin’ for fajitas. I had the steak, extra flour tortillas, onion, sauce fixins, and sour cream all at the ready. I reached in to the fridge, and grabbed my avocados to make the requisite guacamole. Grabbed a large knife and cut a 'cado so I could scoop out the green goodness… Or so I tried.

My cut simply scored the rind, because it wasn’t wasn’t properly mushy inside. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Fajitas without guacamole! Oh, the humanity!

Times like that are why I keep a stock of ramen on hand. For some reason burrito fixings work out great on top of ramen. Don’t ask me why. I’m probably just some kind of sick deluded pervert.

I totally agree, vunderbob! Sometimes I can find a really good guacamole in my produce section but they didn’t have any when I made fajitas and I was feelin too lazy to make it from scratch so I bought some of the guacamole Doritos and put them in instead. … :eek: Wait! That’s way to close to using hot dog buns! :dubious:

Well, it is salsa since salsa is any kind of sauce, but it’s not the salsa you’re thinking of. Back in California, taco sauce was a salsa verde, which is very smooth and made with tomatillos, chiles, various spices, and I think onions. La Victoria has a pretty good one bottled.

I don’t eat burritos. Or tacos. Or fajitas. Or olives, ramen, salsa, hot sauce, guacamole, and a whole bunch of other stuff not yet mentioned in this thread. I’m sure it’s all delicious to you, but not me, and I think that’s all that needs to be said on the subject.

I’m on vacation, except I’m not. My friend from Missouri was suppose to escape that state and visit me and we were going to go to the coast and the Crater Lake and Sisters, and maybe even Silver Falls, and we were going to play loads of Trivia Pursuits and drink wine and talk and talk and talk and talk. But instead she had to have surgery to remove the “big ugly mass” (a medical term) on one of her ovaries that ended up being endometriosis ALL over her insides (but no cancer so we’re happy about something at least). So she is stuck in Missouri where I can’t visit her because it’s too hot and she doesn’t have air conditioning and I’m a bitch when I’m too warm, not to mention the fact that she’s basically confined to bed for a month and so wouldn’t be much fun (But I’d still visit, 'cuz I love her even when she’s no fun). Besides, she’s on pain meds and that would make it way too easy to beat her at Trivia Pursuits. I think she’s doing okay, though, she said she had a tampon burning party when she got home, so she seems to have the right attitude.

Was that TMI?

So, I’m not taking the week off, but I am taking today and tomorrow off. Supposedly, I’m getting a bunch of stuff done that I never get done on weekends, but so far, I’ve barely managed to take a shower, so we’ll see.

I am fond of pasta.

Rue, honey, I love you. You know I love you. I can’t go a day without you, even if I don’t always post. But this:

is just sick, sad and wrong.

:stuck_out_tongue: You know, you take all the fun out of it when you make it so easy.

I would’ve toasted up some 'o them frozen waffles and used them in place of the tortillas. But that’s just me.

I didn’t say earlier, but I will now Winnie- You can go to Skyline (in Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana and apparently Florida) and get a chilli sandwich. Cincinnati chili (it’s sweet, not spicy) onna hot dog bun. Throw cheese on it, because everything is better with cheese on it. I grew up with that, and as far as I know it’s a normal thing. Normal-ish anyway. Mexican Sandwiches aren’t a big jump.

Kalley, do you like any sauce with your pasta? Just checking.

The choice of frozen waffles around here is either blueberry or chocolate chip. Your choice Hal.

Hot dog buns?

Man… I’m sure glad were not sharing a jail cell Rue. You’re just a littlle too flexible about some things.