Yet another difficult student story

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It seems like we’ve had a few threads lately about difficult or disruptive students in the classroom.

This is another one. :wink:

I don’t know that I’m really asking for advice here, just venting. But good advice is good advice.

I signed up for a philosophy class last September, and I must say, it was one of the best decisions that I’ve made in my life. Seriously, a class on how to be happy and fulfilled? What could be better? Going there is the best part of my week.

And the worst.

There’s one fellow student who is sort of… a complete train wreck. For the last three sessions, she’s broken down into tears. She completely dominates every class, with her drama, depression, and just plain weirdness. She doesn’t seem to get the material, but just derails every conversation with her personal drama.

For example, in one early session the instructor was kind of asking every student what they thought about something or other. Suddenly she interrupted with “I’m feeling really neglected and abused right now!” It turns out that it was because the instructor wasn’t listening to her about her adorable cat.

Last night we had to take a little intermission because she went on a crying jag because we wouldn’t help her with something that happened to her last week. The instructor wanted to move on to the next topic, and drama girl fell apart over it.

For some reason I think that she thinks this class is her own personal therapy.

I understand that clinical depression is a horrible thing. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And I understand that this is a class on happiness, and no one could use it more than her. But dammit, I’m there to learn stuff. I paid as much in tuition as she did. I’m not there to sit through her tantrums.

And that’s what they are. It’s like adults trying to have an adult conversation, and a 50-year-old child is throwing tantrums and disrupting everything.

What’s the worst of it is that she and I are the only students who have not dropped out. Last night it was me, her, the instructor, and an assistant.

The instructors have been awesome, though. I can tell that they are frustrated too, but they have an amazing amount of patience. Maybe that’s my takeaway from this – learning more patience.

2

This is a college class? :dubious: Everyone has dropped the class because of her? It’s been while since I’ve been in school, but this seems jaw-droppingly inappropriate.

3

It’s not a college class, it’s like an adult ed thing.

I can’t say for certain why other people dropped the class. I know there were some issues with schedule conflicts and travel difficulties. It’s just sad for me that there aren’t any other students that I can talk with about the subject matter.

4

Hmmm.

I think you need a private conversation with the instructor and/or the assistant. It’s great that you love this class, but if she is, as you say, derailing every discussion with her stuff (and, really? Abused and neglected? FFS. I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay enrolled for so long amidst that bullshit…), then you are not getting the quality of instruction that you paid for.

The instructor has a curriculum and a class design. Clearly s/he is not able to teach to that if stories about depression and adorable cats have to have equal or more air time.

How many more weeks/months in the class? If it’s a short time, I’d say stick it out but get a discount on the next class you enroll in. If it’s a long time and you wish to stay (and I’d better the instructors are praying that you stay so that it isn’t just The Abused and Neglected Show), I’d ask them how they plan to try to control this disruptive behavior from her.

5

OK, I just sent an e-mail to the instructor voicing my concerns. And I hopefully did it in a way that put the focus on optimizing my own learning rather than complaining about the Problem Child. We’ll see what I hear back.

There are six more sessions (out of ten) left in this level. And I’m planning on signing up for the next one.

As far as asking for a discount, I don’t need to do that. It’s a non-profit place, and tuition is already dirt cheap.

6

If you’re the only (real) student left, maybe you and the instructor could just reschedule your meetings, and not tell her?

7

So ditch her? That doesn’t seem very congruent to what we’re doing.

I did hear back from the instructor. She’s going to talk to her instructor about it, and most likely call the student and give her behavioral guidelines for the class.

8

I agree, but allowing someone to hijack your life with their bullshit isn’t very congruent either. Not being a doormat is an important part of happiness.

I do not personally advocate ditching, but it is INSANE that the instructors have let the entire class drop out with half-baked excuses rather than deal with this drama llama. They ought to have spoken firmly with her at the first instance, and ejected her if she could not be appropriate and on-topic.

9

I totally agree with everything you’re saying. I don’t know that they haven’t talked to her about it yet – if they did they probably wouldn’t have told me. The current instructor has only been with this class for the last 4 sessions, so she probably didn’t say anything. I have no idea about the level 1 instructor.

10

Is it a class on how to be happy and fulfilled, or is it a class on Philosophy? Because those two are not the same thing, and if it’s the latter case, then nobody has any responsibility whatsoever on holding this drama bomb’s hand and being her support group for her, anymore than if this were a Spanish class. She needs a therapist.

11

Is this the school of practical philosophy? If so, can you just go on another night?

12

Yes, exactly. It is kind of a fine distinction, because the subject of this section is happiness. I think it’s normal for people to talk about some personal experiences, but no one else really gets into any details. What we are given is sort of a set of tools in the form of practices. It is, like you said, not group therapy.

Maeglin, yes it is, but part 2 only meets on Wednesdays.

13

I just got off the phone with the instructor. My class has been cancelled, but I’m invited to take part 1 over again, kind of far away. I’ll have to see if I can get there.